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Need advice on a girl I fancy

O.k this is the story,

been in college for the last year, have got on really well with a fairly good looking girl , story is i probably only use meet this lass bout 8-10 hours in lectures per week and we use always have a bit of a laugh but i never met her outside college......well i finished exams thursday two weeks ago and she gave me her number as we went for a quick pint afterwards, so started txting her and had plan to meet up that night for a few celebratory pints (she had even got me and my mate-who was in our class also- free passes to a new nightclub) but due to circumstances beyond my control i couldnt make it in as a friend got stopped for being drunk going into the club, so kept txting her that night and she texted back usual friendly banter...

Anyway i text her asking if she wanted to meet up for a pint last friday, its been 3 days and she still hasnt replied?

Personally i think theres no way in hell shes interested now for all i know she could have had a boyfriend all along, but still all she had to do was reply with a simple 10p text message saying she fancied a pint if she was interested, her silence is deafning.

i think this situation is unfixable and she's a lost cause, anyone here have any suggestions on how to redeem the situation and save some face? personally i think im gonna leave it go now even do i really did fancy her as I probably wont be seeing her again too much as we're finished college, that said im likely to run into her as we both live the same city/town

All advice welcome.

Reply 1

Anne Auraque

2

Is she playing hard to get? I don't know. Leave it until a week has passed, then text her again, if she doesn't reply to that then I don't think she interested. Also if she does text you back make her wait, let her stew a little bit, after all she's made you anxious. Treat them mean, keep them keen, always works because girls like a challenge.

Reply 2

flashette

She doesn't want to go out with you.

Reply 3

Zerforax

21

oh no 3 whole days... i dont reply to people for 3 weeks ._. but im a bit rude like that :smile:

if you wanna save face, next time you see her, say hi, be polite but flirt with her friends :smile:

Reply 4

petrolxfumes

maybe she has no credit.

hah or is that just me who never has credit?!

Reply 5

StevieP

OP

yeah but 3 days...might aswell be three years as she aint going to reply....its still a bit much not replying its not like i was some sleaze merchant who took advantage of a drunken encounter in nightclub,right eh????

Reply 6

Zerforax

21

you sound too needy, i wouldnt go out with you :smile:

Reply 7

StevieP

OP

im tempted to ring but

(a) i dont want to be giving the girl any hassle if shes not interested as theres a fine line been eager for someone and stalking!!

(b)ringing would look like im desperate, defnetly something that would make most girls run a mile

Reply 8

StevieP

OP

sarforaz

you sound too needy, i wouldnt go out with you :smile:

kick a man while hes down, eh ?? :smile:

well what can i say im an emotional fella, dont believe in hiding your feelings...im bit of a joker always up for a laugh but that doesnt mean i cant have feelings for a lass...have been single for over a year and have had a few meaningless one nighters here and there, but ive developed feelings for this girl and have tried my best to contain them until we both we're finshed college as otherwise it would have been very messy but now im not really sure what to do

Reply 9

Zerforax

21

maybe she had an exam so shes been getting rid of all distractions? no credit? etc etc...
if your going to ring her, make sure you have some idea of a convo .-.
i doubt you'd scare her off, im sure she would be flattered
id give it a few more days and then txt again or ring her

Reply 10

StevieP

OP

sarforaz

maybe she had an exam so shes been getting rid of all distractions? no credit? etc etc...
if your going to ring her, make sure you have some idea of a convo .-.
i doubt you'd scare her off, im sure she would be flattered
id give it a few more days and then txt again or ring her

yeah i give it till next week, but the signs aren't good as we were in the same class and we finished our exams nearly 2 weeks ago plus she has a part time job so i doubt she was that stuck for cash for phone credit..that said its a bank holiday over here and maybe she had gone away for the weekend???....clutching at straws, being a realist i can see how i might have misread the signals but since we were good mates you'd think she could have replied

Reply 11

StevieP

OP

which is better to do, to just leave it go and hope i havent offended her too much , or should i ring/text her again asking her out.......on the downside either way she might think im trying to use her for sex which most certainly aint the case, im feeling things for her that i havent felt for any other girl for quite some time

Reply 12

petrus

dont text her again man! the ball is in her court... just forget about it and enjoy yourself!!! If my exams were finished i would be going wild forget about it and have a laugh, life is too short for that kind of crap

Reply 13

StevieP

OP

at the moment im thinking of waiting till next week to ring her, i know its almost a certainty that shes not interested cause the chances she didnt get the message or couldnt reply are non existent.... but hell i liked to get a reply for whats it worth as i really like the girl and at the very least i hope i havent offended her......

Reply 14

kateington

StevieP

at the moment im thinking of waiting till next week to ring her, i know its almost a certainty that shes not interested cause the chances she didnt get the message or couldnt reply are non existent.... but hell i liked to get a reply for whats it worth as i really like the girl and at the very least i hope i havent offended her......

haha you're beiing well too sensitive! Just call her!!!

Reply 15

Spenceman_

And if u get voicemail....leave a message!...but make sure it's "breezy"

Monica (leaving a message) : - ".....I'm breezy..."

Joey: - Hey you can't say your breezy...that just totally negates the breezy!

Reply 16

bikerx23

1

Its good to find a guy, like myself, who actually cares about more than mindless sex
(not that thats not amazing)
I think not having credit is possible you know...since, even though she has a job that doesn't mean she will be getting daily cash - she could get paid every week/fortnight/month.etc., so three days isn't really too long - although i know it feels like an eternity when your waiting for a response. Anyway - i'm sure everyone here knows how quickly credit can disappear from you phone on a night out, one long call to a mate slurring down the phone about how much you've drank or how "your sitting still but the rooms still spinning" can solve that problem...or the even more conventional falling on it and leaving a 3 hour message in someones voicemail - bliss!
just give her a ring, and if you sound obscenely nervous, she is more likely to say no - maybe organise something for a few mates so its not just the two of you (although obv. you would like that), but then you can move from there - you should never expect to just walk str8 into a relationship.
also - given my experience of having to carry my mates back to college after they've passed out outside clubs, she wont be too pissed off they you did so, as its a kind and honourable thing to do. also, if she already knows that you like her, it will given her a check that your not just in it for the one night, and will have shown her your a more honourable bloke

either all that or, she just doesn't like you - but its better to regret something you have done than regret something you haven't done.
as you say, you probably wont be seeing each other day to day next year, so just go for it! it doesn't sound like you actually have anything to lose - if you saw her every day you should think twice because you dont want to lose a friend, but since you dont, you can always survive the occasional awkward, squirmish glance as you cross each other in the street.
but, yes, katies right...just call her!

Reply 17

Invocation

12

StevieP

O.k this is the story,

been in college for the last year, have got on really well with a fairly good looking girl , story is i probably only use meet this lass bout 8-10 hours in lectures per week and we use always have a bit of a laugh but i never met her outside college......well i finished exams thursday two weeks ago and she gave me her number as we went for a quick pint afterwards, so started txting her and had plan to meet up that night for a few celebratory pints (she had even got me and my mate-who was in our class also- free passes to a new nightclub) but due to circumstances beyond my control i couldnt make it in as a friend got stopped for being drunk going into the club, so kept txting her that night and she texted back usual friendly banter...

Anyway i text her asking if she wanted to meet up for a pint last friday, its been 3 days and she still hasnt replied?

Personally i think theres no way in hell shes interested now for all i know she could have had a boyfriend all along, but still all she had to do was reply with a simple 10p text message saying she fancied a pint if she was interested, her silence is deafning.

i think this situation is unfixable and she's a lost cause, anyone here have any suggestions on how to redeem the situation and save some face? personally i think im gonna leave it go now even do i really did fancy her as I probably wont be seeing her again too much as we're finished college, that said im likely to run into her as we both live the same city/town

All advice welcome.

maybe she forgot to txt you back. i always read txts and think to myself ill txt em later. of course i always 4get ...

Reply 18

StevieP

OP

its not so much that im upset that she probably isnt interested, its upsetting that fact that she didnt even value my friendship enough to reply(i dont buy into the its only been 3days thing as the text was asking her out for a drink that night!).......maybe she thought a text message was a sleazy way of asking someone out, personally i thought it would give her a chance to weigh up the situation & to give some sort of response that would be fair to both of us .....so i think ill wait till next week and ring her then to suss out the situation, she's a sweet girl so the fact she didnt reply kinda makes me think im in the wrong somehow... personally i think she wasnt interested & maybe she thought being asked out by text was sleazy but still a reply would have been nice

Reply 19

Spenceman_

Yeh I don't think texts are "sleazy" necessarily but I do think they're frustratingly inefficient and essentially a very poor method of communication. I'd say for now, giver the benefit of the doubt, cos you're so nice and just give a quick ring. Dont be afraid to mention the fact that you didnt get a text back though, or hint at it but whatever you do I wouldn't try and fix the situation with another text.

Need advice on a girl I fancy

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