boy trouble lol

ok brace yourself cos this is kindalong and complicated but i would really liek your help! so hey here goes.

starts back last november. new guy starts hanging round with our group of guys called ben. we both click straight away and are going out within a couple of weeks. however after going quite far with him he split up with me a week and half later with not much explanation. 3 days later i find out hes going out with my best friend jen. they continue for awhile and i cudnt stay angry at my friend for more than a day cos were so close. but then i was a bitch and after awhile he started cheating on her with me. after a couple of weeks i cudnt do it anymore but she found out about it. we didnt speak for a few days and wat i did made a few of my friends hate me. but she forgave me and me and ben didnt continue.

at new year ben and jen and a couple of other come over to my house and jen and ben hook up again. they go out for about hlaf a month until they both decide theyve had enough. but the weekend before they split up i went round his house and we ended up sleeping together. we started going out pretty much as soon as they split and stayed together for quite awhile.

then at the beginning of march he had started to take me for granted ignorign me etc and i got pissed off. I cheated on him with a guy who was basically his best friend and one of my very good friends. this guy had a gf. the guy told his gf wat had happened and she made sure the whole school knew what a bitch i was. for some of my friends this was the last straw. but my true friends stuck by me through it. i told ben and he didnt want to know. a week later i found i was pregnant. ben satrted talkign to me again and greenie the guy i cheated with helped me through stuff. it turned out in the end it was a false alarm.

we got back together but pretty soon but he started ignoring me for no reason. i finally got sick of it and after finding him calling jen i split up with him. a few weeks or so later i missed him too much. so at the end of april i found out about a gig that i knew ben would die to go to (mad caddies) and so i kept calling him til he'd pick up and then told him bout it. he said hed come and sounded really happy to be talkign to me again. that was the sunday. on the wednesday i couldnt take not seeing him anymore and after i finished lessons i went to see him where he works. he lives on a canal boat and i left a cd i had compiled for him in his door. he was really surprised to see me but good surprised. i told him i wanted him back and he said he need to think about it but said he did still love and miss me. so he calls that nite we chat and decide to give things another try. that weekend was one of the best of my life and we got to spend so much time together. it was amazing.

things were good since then until a couple of weeks ago. greenie(the guy i orginally cheated with) told me he still liked me. me havin no will power and still liking greenie just started joking around with greenie. but then we started to really want something to happen. i saw ben midweek and knew i could never hurt him again. but he saw a text i had sent to greenie and thought i was cheating on him. i told greenie that nite i didnt want nethign to happen with us.

on the thursday nite me and ben had a big argument on the phone. he didnt trust me anymore and didnt know if he wanted us to be together anymore either. i was feeling doubt aswell. the next nite i was going away on holiday and wanted to get things sorted. he wouldnt pick up my calls so i text him saying we should go on a break.

he hasnt spoken to me since. ive been back two days and i thought alot on holiday but i really dont know how i feel about him anymore. i love him and he makes me laugh and happy when im with him. but when we are apart he can sometimes just seemt o take me for granted.

Some of my friends think i should just take the hint and give up on us two. but quite a few of my friends reckon that if we can work through all the stuff we have it just makes us stronger. and that we are meant to be together.

im sorry it was such a long winded explanation but its been quite some 6 months. i have a confusing messed up life which i would love to just become simple. i just want to be happy. if anyone has any advice or thoughts on my situation then please go for it. if you dont then well thanku for reading anyway. oh and sorry for the appaling spelling and grammer!!

Reply 1

Steph!

simple.

stop cheating on people and your life will be a helluva lot simpler.

Reply 2

Shelbycakes

i think if your tempted to cheat on him as you've said you were and he seems to take you for granted then it isnt meant to be.

Reply 3

Onearmedbandit

stop cheating on people lol

Seriously, if you're tempted to cheat a lot just stay single until you find someone you like enough so that you won't be tempted.

Reply 4

Zerforax

you dont need our help you need medical psychatrist help...
:P not the most helpful input but w/e
basically you've been doing what you've wanted so far, and you've ejoyed it - keep it up :smile:

Reply 5

Audacious

I'll tell u the same as i told my friend, think of how the other people around u r feeling:ben greenie, the peoples whos hearts and minds uve messed around with by cheating. U've been given alot of chances to and i duno, if i was ur mate that i could continue to give u a clean slate. How would u feel if people messed about with ur head/heart? Or if sum1 cheated on u?

U gota think about others and if u r cheating an messing about, my advice is to stay single till u get ur head sorted out and become more mature about it.

Seriously, You need to get ur priorites sorted out!

Sorry if this has been a lecturing post, its just wot uve written kinda says to me that neither u or ben are ready 4 this relationship, and if u hav cheated on him, and feel tempted to cheat then its not the relationship for you.

Reply 6

Feefifofum

You can't claim that he is taking you for granted if you cheat on him. It's not fair. I think this kind of relationship, with such a long history of lies and deceipt, is always going to be very difficult, and even if you seem not to have any problem with cheating on people or indeed being cheated on, Ben seems to have realised that he cannot trust you. If there isn't trust in a relationship then it simply can't work.

As much as you say you love him, you didn't think twice about texting Greenie again, even if it was meant to be innocent and not lead anywhere. Ben is evidently insecure, you should try to talk to him about things. If you can be trusted, then things might yet work out. But you need to work at it and prove that you can be trusted, and this does not include cheating on him, or texting another guy that you have cheated with in the past, as even if this means nothing to you it is not going to help Ben feel more secure.

My honest advice? Take a long hard look at the way he has treated you, and then look even closer at the way you have treated him. Then think, "Is this the basis for a stable relationship?"