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Boyfriend + commitment. watch

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    I've been in a relationship for two years almost. Since i was just turning 16.

    I'm nearly 18 now, thats a long time for a young girl to keep hold of a relationship in my eyes.

    At the beginning of our realtionship everything was perfect, just like it should be. Now don't get me wrong, i'm not about to rant about how everythings crap now but wail that i don't want to dump him. Its not like that.

    The thing is, i find when you've been in a relationship so long, people tend to dismiss you a bit. By this i mean, when i haven't seen people for ages, the first thing they ask is: 'Are you still going out with so and so?' or 'Spilt up with your boyfriend yet?'

    People tend to just see me as 'the girl thats been going out with her boyfriend ages.' Its really annoying.

    He's the only person i've slept with, and i love him very much, but sometimes i just wish this had happened in a few years time.

    I don't want to go around being a ****, but sometimes i just 'want a bit of fun' so to speak. Its not wrong of me to feel like that because i've got a boyfriend, i've never slept with or really been sexually active with anyone else. Does anyone see where i'm coming from?

    This is a moan about that really because i don't want to split up with him really, and i do go out with my friends a bit, but of course my social life is going to change by getting a boyfriend!

    We do argue quite a lot though, and sometimes i just want to be free but were such a major part of each others lives i can't see it happening! I don't even want to split up with him actually, so i'm not sure what the point of this thread is! It just gets to me sometimes. He's been sexually active with 3 other girls, but thats not exactly alot is it? Do you think he feels the same? I can't ask him, because he would say no. I've asked him before.

    Ahh what a messed up young girlie i am. Prehaps we will end up breaking up one day and then finding each other again. *no wake up hannah thats in the movies*
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    (Original post by lessthanthree)
    It really is a case of make or break though. Maybe you're right though - maybe this is a case of right guy wrong time?

    Exactly! And theres nothing i can do is there?


    I don't want to be 80 years old thinking, 'i've never been with anyone else.'
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    i was with my ex 18 months just 16-nealry 17 and i know what you mean hun.

    i felt the same. like you sort of wnat to "experience" life a bit more, but then you don't want to lose him. kinda trapped...

    due to unforseen circumstances (ie him moving to the usa) we had to splt up. i felt so giulty cos a part of me knew it menat i had a chance to be, well single.

    and i had a good few months then met someone else, and stuff. i know its hard but maybe you just need to talk to see where you're heads at and what you both wnat from teh realtionship. my ex was 3 years oldr and looking back i know we wanted different things. i think it was too much too young.

    hope things work out for you hun x
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    (Original post by lessthanthree)
    Ergh, my boyfriend and I [love him to death omfg] have decided to just take uni as it comes - like, maybe if it comes to it, go on a break.

    People change so much during that time that you almost don't know if you're wasting your time fighting to keep a relationship with a person that's not the same anymore, so we've decided not to compromise our time at uni with being depressive and stuff, because we're realistic and might not make it.

    Maybe when one of you [or both of you] go to university it might be an option to have a similar break?
    that sounds like a sensible idea.

    maybe it'll give you both a chance to experieince life a bit more, and theres no saying you wont get together during/after uni.
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    What does it matter how many people you've slept with? The grass is always greener on the other side. It sounds to me like you are bored with the relationship and you are trying to legitimise your feelings somehow. maybe it is time to move on.
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    (Original post by ChemistBoy)
    What does it matter how many people you've slept with? The grass is always greener on the other side. It sounds to me like you are bored with the relationship and you are trying to legitimise your feelings somehow. maybe it is time to move on.



    So far only 1 reply like this! Woohoo!

    Listen to me MR:

    I DO NOT WANT TO SPLIT UP WITH HIM! I'm just having a little moan about the fact that all my friends are gaining loads of 'life experience' and i'm so tied down at a very young age.
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    I dont understand what the big deal is about sleeping with other people. If you found someone you love and want to be with , who cares about how many people you sleep with?

    It aint a goal in life to sleep with 5+ people b4 you are allowed a relationship.

    Sorry if i've got this all wrong :eek:
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    (Original post by Camalot)
    I dont understand what the big deal is about sleeping with other people. If you found someone you love and want to be with , who cares about how many people you sleep with?

    It aint a goal in life to sleep with 5+ people b4 you are allowed a relationship.

    Sorry if i've got this all wrong :eek:



    Its not the amount i've slept with, i cant explain it. lessthanthree seems to understand what i'm on about.

    Having experienced the not so special relationships and sex seems to make you want to experience a special relationship with someone to settle down with more.

    I've found that so young, thats all.
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    (Original post by Hana_87)
    So far only 1 reply like this! Woohoo!

    Listen to me MR:

    I DO NOT WANT TO SPLIT UP WITH HIM! I'm just having a little moan about the fact that all my friends are gaining loads of 'life experience' and i'm so tied down at a very young age.
    Just giving my opinion, if you want to be rude then do, but expect neg rep for your trouble.

    I've been through this situation myself and seen many of my friends go through it. Trust me, dragging a relationship through university very, very rarely works.
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    (Original post by ChemistBoy)
    Just giving my opinion, if you want to be rude then do, but expect neg rep for your trouble.

    I've been through this situation myself and seen many of my friends go through it. Trust me, dragging a relationship through university very, very rarely works.

    Neg rep? Rude? I wasnt being rude i was joking!

    Your being rude :mad:

    University? I'm not going to Uni for atleast another year and he's not going either, he's got a full time job, he's 20.
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    she's not saying she wants to sleep arounfd

    she's saying she just feels like things as good as they are have come a bit too eary maybe and left no chance for life experince etc.

    it's a lot at 16/17 to have to decide if you're gonna be with one person for the rest of the forseeable future if you've never "exerpience" any other life
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    (Original post by Hana_87)
    Neg rep? Rude? I wasnt being rude i was joking!

    Your being rude :mad:

    University? I'm not going to Uni for atleast another year and he's not going either, he's got a full time job, he's 20.
    Then it definately won't work when you do go.
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    Ermmm this maybe a stupid question, but do alot of girls feel like this?
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    (Original post by ChemistBoy)
    Then it definately won't work when you do go.


    Oh. Lol, right ok then i'll finish it now because ChemistBoy on TSR told me it wouldn't work :p:

    I'm thinking of staying at my home Uni anyway. Not travelling. Wouldn't that make a difference?
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    (Original post by ChemistBoy)
    Just giving my opinion, if you want to be rude then do, but expect neg rep for your trouble.

    I've been through this situation myself and seen many of my friends go through it. Trust me, dragging a relationship through university very, very rarely works.
    we're going to uni in the same place

    so less of the troubles of long-distance relations.

    maybe it will work *fingers crossed* maybe its won't but nowt wrong with trying is there?

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    (Original post by BhArJ)
    Ermmm this maybe a stupid question, but do alot of girls feel like this?
    Don't worry yourself. At 18 you are really too young to know what is good for you or not, it's only when you get a bit older that you realise your naivity at that age.
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    I know how you feel... I somehow seem to attract long term relationships!! near on 2 years with Will, November-September however long that is with Dickey and just gone 5 months with Phil and still going strong

    Sometimes it just feels like you're nothing EXCEPT part of a couple
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    (Original post by xXMessedUpXx)
    she's not saying she wants to sleep arounfd

    she's saying she just feels like things as good as they are have come a bit too eary maybe and left no chance for life experince etc.

    it's a lot at 16/17 to have to decide if you're gonna be with one person for the rest of the forseeable future if you've never "exerpience" any other life











    EXACTLY!


    This is what i mean ok!
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    (Original post by xXMessedUpXx)
    we're going to uni in the same place

    so less of the troubles of long-distance relations.

    maybe it will work *fingers crossed* maybe its won't but nowt wrong with trying is there?

    Of course there's no problem in trying, just do what makes you feel happy. University is a life changing event of much larger proportions than people give it credit for and this can and does change people quite dramatically. I'm not trying to put the frighteners on, just speaking from experience.
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    (Original post by BhArJ)
    Ermmm this maybe a stupid question, but do alot of girls feel like this?
    i think a fair few may when aged 16/17/18...

    ..but i think guys do to. i think in a way it's a phase that you either get though or you don't.

    at te end of teh day only you can decide what is the right thing to do.
 
 
 
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