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Worried I'm not going to fit in at uni
I'm terrible at conversation. I can never think of anything to talk about. I'm quite boring really, which was why pretty much everyone at school/sixth form only ever spoke to me for homework help. The few friends I did have, I just stood in with their conversations. Eventually I went clubbing with them occasionally, but most of the time, including most of this summer, I've just been sitting at home doing nothing every day and night.
For the last few years, I've been holding out, knowing that eventually I'll be going to university and everything will magically change when I get there. But now it's only a matter of weeks away, I'm worried it's just going to be more of the same. I don't know how to converse with people, so how am I going to make friends. They always say things will definitely get better at uni, but judging by some of the topics on here, that's certainly not always the case. Goodness knows what I'm going to do if I'm stuck as a loner at university as well.
I'm not too sure what I need help with here. I suppose it was mainly something I needed to get off my chest. Sorry.
For the last few years, I've been holding out, knowing that eventually I'll be going to university and everything will magically change when I get there. But now it's only a matter of weeks away, I'm worried it's just going to be more of the same. I don't know how to converse with people, so how am I going to make friends. They always say things will definitely get better at uni, but judging by some of the topics on here, that's certainly not always the case. Goodness knows what I'm going to do if I'm stuck as a loner at university as well.
I'm not too sure what I need help with here. I suppose it was mainly something I needed to get off my chest. Sorry.
Reply 1
Anonymous
I'm terrible at conversation. I can never think of anything to talk about. I'm quite boring really, which was why pretty much everyone at school/sixth form only ever spoke to me for homework help. The few friends I did have, I just stood in with their conversations. Eventually I went clubbing with them occasionally, but most of the time, including most of this summer, I've just been sitting at home doing nothing every day and night.
For the last few years, I've been holding out, knowing that eventually I'll be going to university and everything will magically change when I get there. But now it's only a matter of weeks away, I'm worried it's just going to be more of the same. I don't know how to converse with people, so how am I going to make friends. They always say things will definitely get better at uni, but judging by some of the topics on here, that's certainly not always the case. Goodness knows what I'm going to do if I'm stuck as a loner at university as well.
I'm not too sure what I need help with here. I suppose it was mainly something I needed to get off my chest. Sorry.
For the last few years, I've been holding out, knowing that eventually I'll be going to university and everything will magically change when I get there. But now it's only a matter of weeks away, I'm worried it's just going to be more of the same. I don't know how to converse with people, so how am I going to make friends. They always say things will definitely get better at uni, but judging by some of the topics on here, that's certainly not always the case. Goodness knows what I'm going to do if I'm stuck as a loner at university as well.
I'm not too sure what I need help with here. I suppose it was mainly something I needed to get off my chest. Sorry.
PM me.
Reply 2
Similarly, for the last few years i've been pinning all my hopes on uni, i now realise it would be better to go having more experience of life/going out/girls.
but i'm not that bad.
try gettin a job? or if thats a bit late, push your comfort zone (<- adivce i give but wont follow)
but i'm not that bad.
try gettin a job? or if thats a bit late, push your comfort zone (<- adivce i give but wont follow)
Reply 3
Go out and be present. Represent yourself and do stuff. If you talk like a loner an you will remain one.
Reply 4
nase14_aldayz
PM me.
what you gonna say in pm?????/
Reply 6
http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/9711/1249658482420.jpg
When in doubt, ask S.W.H.
When in doubt, ask S.W.H.
Reply 7
To be honest, there are a lot of people around who aren't worth being "in" with (I speak from experience).
Being reserved, although uncomfortable at times or even lonely isn't a bad quality. In fact I find it to be interesting and would rather have a small group of friends who are quieter than have the opposite. Not everyone is obsessed with people being outgoing or whatever, and anyone worth anything wouldn't knock a person for not being, in my opinion.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, although how hard it may seem, that’s what you are. People should like you for who you are. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
Being reserved, although uncomfortable at times or even lonely isn't a bad quality. In fact I find it to be interesting and would rather have a small group of friends who are quieter than have the opposite. Not everyone is obsessed with people being outgoing or whatever, and anyone worth anything wouldn't knock a person for not being, in my opinion.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, although how hard it may seem, that’s what you are. People should like you for who you are. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
Reply 9
At university you'll meet so many people that I'm sure you'll find a group of people you will feel comfortable around, even if it takes you a few weeks. I know it's easy to say, but try to force some confidence out just to have a conversation, make yourself go out and meet people and hopefully you will make some friends with common interests.
Reply 10
lm_wfc
'Private' things I imagine.
You wouldnt want to know
You wouldnt want to know
of a sexual nature??
ooo i do kill myself sometimes
Reply 11
Nothing will magically change. YOU need to make the effort, what university is fantastic for is being a catalyst for change. No-one knows you, there are no preconceptions of who you are, you can pretend to be confident without worrying about what people will think of you. Pretend to be confident long enough and you will segue unknowingly into actually BEING confident.
As for starting conversations et al. just think up some standard questions to ask people in freshers - sure they are overused but they break the ice and give you something to get the ball rolling in a conversation.
e.g. - What subject are you doing? What did you do at A level? Where are you from? Did you take a gap year and if so where did you go/what did you do? How are you enjoying freshers? What do you think of the uni? What do you think of the halls? etc.etc.etc. Unless they are totally socially inept they will then ask you the same questions and perhaps you will find common ground to draw upon and voila! A conversation is born.
As for starting conversations et al. just think up some standard questions to ask people in freshers - sure they are overused but they break the ice and give you something to get the ball rolling in a conversation.
e.g. - What subject are you doing? What did you do at A level? Where are you from? Did you take a gap year and if so where did you go/what did you do? How are you enjoying freshers? What do you think of the uni? What do you think of the halls? etc.etc.etc. Unless they are totally socially inept they will then ask you the same questions and perhaps you will find common ground to draw upon and voila! A conversation is born.
Anonymous
I'm terrible at conversation. I can never think of anything to talk about. I'm quite boring really, which was why pretty much everyone at school/sixth form only ever spoke to me for homework help. The few friends I did have, I just stood in with their conversations. Eventually I went clubbing with them occasionally, but most of the time, including most of this summer, I've just been sitting at home doing nothing every day and night.
For the last few years, I've been holding out, knowing that eventually I'll be going to university and everything will magically change when I get there. But now it's only a matter of weeks away, I'm worried it's just going to be more of the same. I don't know how to converse with people, so how am I going to make friends. They always say things will definitely get better at uni, but judging by some of the topics on here, that's certainly not always the case. Goodness knows what I'm going to do if I'm stuck as a loner at university as well.
I'm not too sure what I need help with here. I suppose it was mainly something I needed to get off my chest. Sorry.
For the last few years, I've been holding out, knowing that eventually I'll be going to university and everything will magically change when I get there. But now it's only a matter of weeks away, I'm worried it's just going to be more of the same. I don't know how to converse with people, so how am I going to make friends. They always say things will definitely get better at uni, but judging by some of the topics on here, that's certainly not always the case. Goodness knows what I'm going to do if I'm stuck as a loner at university as well.
I'm not too sure what I need help with here. I suppose it was mainly something I needed to get off my chest. Sorry.
I promise you there will be loads of other people feeling the same! You will not be a loner as long as you activekly get out there. Do not stay in your room alone all night, especially during freshers week! Try to be the one to break the ice, you'll immediately be seen as confident and sure of yourself and this will stick, people will also feel more comfortable wit you if you seem open and then conversation should flow easier. Ask people about themselves and talk about your interests too, try to relate what they say back to your own experiences if you can. Having a few drinks will make anyone better at conversation anyway
just to get started.My sister used to be th emost shy girl i knew, she wouldn't even pay for things in a shop, she'd rather go without than face a person. She never ever had friends either despite being a lovely, fun girl. Now she's at uni and no one knew that she was shy she could act as herself without already being labelled shy and peeople being shocked by her actions. She;'s so popular now! sooo many friends. If she can do it then anyone can
Don't expect to find true friends straight away though, it takes some searching. she only got this way about 2 months into her first year at uni. Just put yourself out there and don't over think things, relax
Reply 14
Make sure you have a mobile hone and use it to connect with people in the first few weeks.
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