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Reply 20

Normally its Half your age + 7 years to find your lower limit, or Double your age -7 years to find your upper limit...
But you know thats just a saying.

Reply 21

I think it changes if you're over 18, certainly if you're over 21. Also if there is a wide age gap then they may want different things.

Reply 22

Owain
Normally its Half your age + 7 years to find your lower limit, or Double your age -7 years to find your upper limit...
But you know thats just a saying.


i'm 24 and that would make my lower limit 19, but my 17yo gfs upper limit would be 28.

Reply 23

grapefruit_girl

another friend went out with a 22 yr old when she was 13, and another friend went out with him a yr later so she was 14 and he was 23 and both times it was totally fine.


I'm sorry, but that is just sick.

Reply 24

BlackHawk
I'm sorry, but that is just sick.

Only if there was sexual contact.

Reply 25

I'm going to assume there was! Why would a 22 year old go out with a 13 year old? What could they possibly have in common?! GCSEs?

Reply 26

In principle, I don't think age should matter - that's not what relationships are about and human nature takes no account of age.

However, in reality, age can matter. It matters particularly when a girl in her early teens is going out with a guy who is in his mid twenties or more. It matters when a sixteen year old guy is sleeping with his best friend's forty-year-old mother.

It matters in these situations because people generally think that one of the parties in each relationship is far more vulnerable than the other. But, a guy who is eighteen could be just as capable of using/abusing his girlfriend as a guy of twenty-five is.

Generally, age seems to be an issue when the girl is far younger than the guy. People assume that girls of fourteen are more likely to be persuaded to do something they may not want to than girls of eighteen. Whether or not this is the case, the point is that views of age in relationships are always based on assumptions and stereotypes. People think that a twenty-five year old guy can only be with a fifteen year old because he wants sex. Maybe, maybe not. But sometimes people have to learn the hard way.

I think the problem is that it is viewed that people of similar ages should be together. But if you actually think about this, it should not necessarily be the case. I'm not saying a twelve year old should see a fifty year old, obviously - there are clear boundaries of what is reasonable and what is not. But overall, there are so many more important apsects of relationships - I'd be more worried about whether the people are happy than if they have the same year in their date of birth.

Reply 27

BlackHawk
I'm going to assume there was! Why would a 22 year old go out with a 13 year old? What could they possibly have in common?! GCSEs?

You assume that people are together because they have things in common. Plenty of people are together *because* they are opposites.

Reply 28

grapefruit_girl
i did used to think there wasnt an age limit, but one of my friends(same age as me, 16) is going out with a 35 yr old.......and shes in love with him, and he tells her that he loves her too


I don’t care what he said, it’s still not a good idea to be sleeping with someone 20 years older than yourself.

Reply 29

Lauren18
You assume that people are together because they have things in common. Plenty of people are together *because* they are opposites.

right, she's underage. So when he goes off to the pub with his mates she can't come. They would have nothing at all in common. Yes opposites can work sometimes but usually there is something in common, however small.

Reply 30

BlackHawk
right, she's underage. So when he goes off to the pub with his mates she can't come. They would have nothing at all in common. Yes opposites can work sometimes but usually there is something in common, however small.

Haha I do agree with you to a degree, but it is *possible* that a relationship could exist without sex and without going to the pub. :eek: They might both like horse riding or something! :biggrin: Unlikely, I concede, but not impossible.

Reply 31

I'm 19 and my bf is 16 years older. It isn't an issue at all, he's completely on a wavelength and we live together now :biggrin:

Reply 32

BlackHawk
I'm sorry, but that is just sick.


Why?

If, in theory, the 13 year old was mature enough to know exactly what she wanted, and the two of them were in love, then why should there be anything to stop that from going on?

Hell, even if they weren't in love, but were both mature enough to understand the relationship and make their own decisions then why shouldn't it take place, there are lots of relationships without true love.

Reply 33

depends on age.

I'm 20 next month, would go out with a 17 year old probably youngest.

Reply 34

Audrey Tautou
Why?

If, in theory, the 13 year old was mature enough to know exactly what she wanted, and the two of them were in love, then why should there be anything to stop that from going on?

Hell, even if they weren't in love, but were both mature enough to understand the relationship and make their own decisions then why shouldn't it take place, there are lots of relationships without true love.

Who's to say whether she is mature enough?

That's why we have a legal age of conscent!

Reply 35

"If, in theory"

Reply 36

it depends how old the youngest person is to the type of age gap, if your an adult, then any age gap is fine but if your like 15 then a 20year old is much too old

Reply 37

Audrey Tautou
Why?

If, in theory, the 13 year old was mature enough to know exactly what she wanted, and the two of them were in love, then why should there be anything to stop that from going on?

Hell, even if they weren't in love, but were both mature enough to understand the relationship and make their own decisions then why shouldn't it take place, there are lots of relationships without true love.


yeah i agree. Both of my friends were strong willed enough to stop him if he did anything they didnt want to. Btw, they didnt do anything sexual, only a hug and a kiss and holding hands. He didnt want anything else. If anything, one of my friends probably wanted to do more than he did. and we all have friends in common. He was in a band, so share of the love of music is ok right?

i understand about my friend going out with the 35 yr old though.......it is rather disgusting....i mean, he has a nephew thats only 3yrs younger than us and his sister isn't much older.... He waited til she was 16 to have sex, but i can only think its because he doesnt wanna get in trouble....

and if you think about it, the legal age of consent doesnt really work, because some people are more mature than others at 16. Loads of my friends have had sex before they they were 16 and theyve been fine.... Although, i suppose they did have to make some law about it and it is pretty hard to determine whos ready for sex.....not like theyr gonna make each teenager take a maturity test before giving up their virginity.....not that they impose the law anyway

Reply 38

It's difficult to say really. I think it seems a bit of shame for an 18-year-old to be with a 40+ year old (like someone I know), I mean, they're from different generations. Long term I don't think relationships like this work out.

To the original poster: 7 years is fiiiine, don't worry!

I once had a crush on someone who is (I think) 35 now and wouldn't say no, despite the age difference.

Reply 39

Hmm, I'd say 5 years

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