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Recovering From Eating Disorders (PLEASE READ)
I'm posting this because I want to let those who are suffering from the same problems know that it's not the end of the world. It is, on the contrary, the beginning of a new start.
I'll try to keep this brief so you won't get bored and I won't let myself drone on. I've been suffering from depression since longer than I know - mainly due to family problems - my parents have a very poor relationship. My depression grew, and in April 2003, it brought about my eating disorders. I went on a cycle: binge-bulemia-binge-anorexia-binge-anorexia-bulemia-binge. I lost at least 17 lbs in less than 2 weeks in my 1st anorexia, and the 2nd time only lasted for a week before I turned bulemic again, (that was brought about by my friend's suicide). I gained almost 25 lbs from Sept to Jan, and my mom finally found out. She confronted me, I refused to talk to her. I felt ashamed, and I wanted her to just go away and leave me alone. I thought she would have yelled at me for my bad attitude, but she was surprisingly patient and finally convinced me to see a shrink.
I started my treatment and medication. I also started realising the worsening of my mom's depression, which I've been suspecting for 2 years. She also found out about her - breast & uterus lumps, back/hip/neckbone problems. Acknowledinging my problems also got me to try understand depression & ED's. I finally begged her to see a shrink. She refused to believe she's depressed - partly because all her siblings and my cousins have developed depression (2 have schizophrenia). It took 2 months of endless begging to get her to see a shrink, by then it was May.
She also started reading up on depression and ED's, and we got closer than ever. When she breaks down, I become her "mother". When she cries, I try not to cry in front of her so she won't cry even more. One time she said, "When you return from uni, I'll probably be in a mental institute." I broke down the next day, and couldn't stop crying.
Despite all this, we've developed this trust that has never existed before. One night I didn't feel like eating, but she didn't force me to eat / make any negative comments. Instead, she just said, "It's ok then." Later, she lent me the book she bought on ED full of case studies which made me cry. I cried because I empathised them. I also cried because I finally realise why my mom has been so much more understanding lately. She's going through her depression, yet she still tries to understand my problems to help me. I regretted being so selfish in the past because I have always taken her for granted. I never appreciated her for her efforts and I felt so bad about it.
Ironically, it took our depressions to pull us together. But it also made me realise that although the path of recovery is long and difficult, it is not something to be afraid of, but to embrace. Cliche but true, because it means that everyday I'm getting better. I've had moments when I fell off-track and binged, and I was tempted to give up. But then I see my mom and I know that I should. Every morning when I take my medication, it reminds me that I've not given up, and I love and thank my mom more than anyone else.
So please, learn from my mistakes. For those without eating disorders, please don't take anyone for granted. And those in my shoes, please don't be scared to acknowledge your problem and receive treatment. It's not easy, but don't give up, because by stepping out of the dark and getting help, you've made the biggest step to a brand new start.
I'll try to keep this brief so you won't get bored and I won't let myself drone on. I've been suffering from depression since longer than I know - mainly due to family problems - my parents have a very poor relationship. My depression grew, and in April 2003, it brought about my eating disorders. I went on a cycle: binge-bulemia-binge-anorexia-binge-anorexia-bulemia-binge. I lost at least 17 lbs in less than 2 weeks in my 1st anorexia, and the 2nd time only lasted for a week before I turned bulemic again, (that was brought about by my friend's suicide). I gained almost 25 lbs from Sept to Jan, and my mom finally found out. She confronted me, I refused to talk to her. I felt ashamed, and I wanted her to just go away and leave me alone. I thought she would have yelled at me for my bad attitude, but she was surprisingly patient and finally convinced me to see a shrink.
I started my treatment and medication. I also started realising the worsening of my mom's depression, which I've been suspecting for 2 years. She also found out about her - breast & uterus lumps, back/hip/neckbone problems. Acknowledinging my problems also got me to try understand depression & ED's. I finally begged her to see a shrink. She refused to believe she's depressed - partly because all her siblings and my cousins have developed depression (2 have schizophrenia). It took 2 months of endless begging to get her to see a shrink, by then it was May.
She also started reading up on depression and ED's, and we got closer than ever. When she breaks down, I become her "mother". When she cries, I try not to cry in front of her so she won't cry even more. One time she said, "When you return from uni, I'll probably be in a mental institute." I broke down the next day, and couldn't stop crying.
Despite all this, we've developed this trust that has never existed before. One night I didn't feel like eating, but she didn't force me to eat / make any negative comments. Instead, she just said, "It's ok then." Later, she lent me the book she bought on ED full of case studies which made me cry. I cried because I empathised them. I also cried because I finally realise why my mom has been so much more understanding lately. She's going through her depression, yet she still tries to understand my problems to help me. I regretted being so selfish in the past because I have always taken her for granted. I never appreciated her for her efforts and I felt so bad about it.
Ironically, it took our depressions to pull us together. But it also made me realise that although the path of recovery is long and difficult, it is not something to be afraid of, but to embrace. Cliche but true, because it means that everyday I'm getting better. I've had moments when I fell off-track and binged, and I was tempted to give up. But then I see my mom and I know that I should. Every morning when I take my medication, it reminds me that I've not given up, and I love and thank my mom more than anyone else.
So please, learn from my mistakes. For those without eating disorders, please don't take anyone for granted. And those in my shoes, please don't be scared to acknowledge your problem and receive treatment. It's not easy, but don't give up, because by stepping out of the dark and getting help, you've made the biggest step to a brand new start.
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*applause* 
That's a lovely post Betty, even though it doesn't really apply to me. 
That's a lovely post Betty, even though it doesn't really apply to me. 
I'm not suffering from any form of eating disorder but wow - that was brilliant! 
thank you. 
i just hope it would be useful.
and that people would read it before it disappears in the flood of other threads.
i just hope it would be useful.
and that people would read it before it disappears in the flood of other threads.
Oh wow, that was amazing... it actually sent a shiver down my spine... I'm sure that post can and will give hope to lost of people... thank-you for posting it
SilverWings
Oh wow, that was amazing... it actually sent a shiver down my spine... I'm sure that post can and will give hope to lost of people... thank-you for posting it
thank you for reading it.
now please go and sleep.
*Is impressed* I don't have an eating disorder (unless you count my addiction to sour gummi worms ) but I know someone that does. I would also like to add that your post was really fantastic and hopefully an inspiration to us all 
Lots luv, DB_xox
I don't have an eating disorder (unless you count my addiction to sour gummi worms ) but I know someone that does. I would also like to add that your post was really fantastic and hopefully an inspiration to us all Lots luv, DB_xox
You should feel very proud of yourself, and of your Mum. Your post will definitely be a great source of hope, inspiration and encouragement for those who are encounterring similar issues. Thank you for taking the time to write it.
P.S. - Have to go to training right now, but will PM you later
P.S. - Have to go to training right now, but will PM you later
That was a really great post. and a really brave one at that
eurasianfeline
thank you for reading it.
now please go and sleep.
now please go and sleep.
In my exam...
Oh poop :>.<:
KingAS
yeah i am sure your mom, would be really proud and happy for you if she read this post
thank you so much for everything.
i'm truly blessed to be your gf.
you've given me more love and support than i could have hope for,
it meant so much to me that you didn't back away when i told you about my ED.
thank you for encouraging me to see a shrink as well.
thank you.
SilverWings
I did...
In my exam...
Oh poop :>.<:
In my exam...
Oh poop :>.<:
oh dear god...AGAIN?!
you're one unique girl.
medic_bex
betty you are so brave. i could never have that kind of courage...
thank you...but honestly i'm not that brave. if i am i would have seeked help 2 years ago.
i'll reply your PM (along with some other ones) tomorrow...physics is killing me now.
how on earth did i signed up for resits?
no...wait...
why on earth did i take physics for alevel!! inflicting pain on myself.
i know you don't have exams now...hush.
*buggers back to past papers*
ChocoVet
((((((((((((huggies))))))))))))))
Have been reading your posts and xanga. I know you've gone through a lot, girl, but I also know you have the strength to fight it. You have my best wishes
Have been reading your posts and xanga. I know you've gone through a lot, girl, but I also know you have the strength to fight it. You have my best wishes
awww girl. you're the sweetest.
i hope the exams are going well for you. mine are killing me.
and i hope people with ED's on TSR are reading this thread. it's getting drowned in H&R.
it would mean a lot to me if they do.(and <3...thx for sticky-ing it for a while)
Related discussions
- Eating Disorder Recovery - Research Study
- Binge eating
- Managing GCSEs and an eating disorder
- Will I get rejected from camp America because of my medical history
- struggling with mental health + a-levels
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- Dealing with cafe next door
- How long can most people go without binging?
- Is it a eating disorder?
- How to deal with bumping into people from your past?
- MSc Psychology (Conversion) Application Guidance
- How am I gaining weight
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