The Student Room Group

Long Distance Relationships - who else has one?

I haven’t asked my girlfriend if I can do this but she won't mind. Also please read this as I feel like I have a lot to say but I will keep it short :smile:

I've been with her since Nov 9th 2003 ( :biggrin: 19 month anniversary today!) yet we first found each other in August 2003.

We met on a place like her and on a chat room, www.kiwibox.com. We became friends since we had big things in common (like we were starting orthodontic treatment at almost the same time) and we would email, talk on msn etc. It took that long till we wanted to be together and we became a couple

She lives in Missouri, America and me..well in Kent. But its not a problem because although it sounds really strange; our LDR is very secure and I could give plenty of reasons why so

- like I am going to Uni in Sept. I assume many of couples here are not looking forward to leaving.
- we are really honest to each other. She knows me better than everyone could ever do.
- there is a 6 hour time difference (me 6hrs ahead) but the hours are really able to manage. I can stay up really late some days, definitely weekends till like 1:30am, and we can chat for hours on msn together

its not that I couldn’t get a girl here. When I met her I had finished yr 11 at an all boys school. I’ve finished a mixed 6th form and I’ve got female friends, but none would have been as perfect as my long distance girlfriend. I felt like I took a very big risk when starting to be with her but I did realise she was the girl of my dreams

We haven’t met but we love each other dearly. Very recently there’s been good news. Her parents have allowed me to stay at their house for a week during my easter term break at uni. They know a lot about me too and they trust me to come over. I cant wait to meet them all. I’m gonna get a job at uni to raise enough for the plane ticket

We both have webcams and digital cameras. Some of my friends know about her and her friends know about me. We’ve talked on the phone on many occasions now. I can buy a 70 minute phone card for £3.50. We’ve also done all that’s possible to physically love each other either on msn or on the phone.

What interested me to write this was a thread on the General Chat board about relationships between members. I know a lot you guys seem to fancy other members! I know it isnt pathetic or anything, I know how you feel. I believe my girlfriend is perfect and we are prepared to wait for how many years it takes to live together. I plan to move after my degree. We’ve never argued and we always promise to love each other with all our heart. She is the best

I wanna know your thoughts or your own LDRs. I now know there must be others so I’m interested to share experiences and views!
I couldn’t justify my LDR as much as I wanted to I’ll be happy to answer any questions
:biggrin: Matt

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
You've never face to face properly met her? I know what LDRs are like, I met my finace on here and we talked very much the same way. Nothing happened until after we met though. I know you feel like you know her really well but you don't. You know the side she wants you to see. Does that make sense? Why haven't you ever visited each other?
No offence, but a girlfriend you've never met?
I can understand long distance relationships, but when you do actually get to see the significant other.. but one you've never met? Seems a bit odd. In my opinion, doesn't count as a relationship I recon.
Reply 3
:eek:
Reply 4
Erm, chembabe and I are in a long distance relationship, but we get to see each other occasionally and its definately not as far as you!! We are only about 100-200 miles away from each other. It certainly is possible and I find it to be very fulfilling, though I must admit it is as hard as hell at times.

I am sure it will work out for you so good luck!!!
Meh. Long distance relationships...
Reply 6
wow, i don't think i'd be able to put up with an LDR that LD. I kinda agree that you can't know someone you've never met. But even so, fair play to you, if it makes u truely happy then it doesn't really matter what other peoples opinions are. I can't beliebe you've still never met tho after 19 months!!
lessthanthree
I think a relationship where the parties have never met is a ridiculous thing to compromise such a long period of time for. No matter how much you think you know a person, it's nothing compared to real life meeting and being with each other from day to do.

She might be very nice, but in compromising your freedom at uni and your sleeping time, I hardly think it's worth it for something that could just be a total disappointment. You can't guarantee her faith either.

Maybe I'm a cynic, but ..no >.<


I totally agree. You can't know the real person until you meet them in life. I've heard of a few people in 'relationships' like that, however, they really can not be counted as relationships. Something physical is needed.
Reply 8
me!!! i have one!!! with my dear sweet jack!! it sucks. but i have met him...and we didnt meet online...cos thats just weird
I'm in an LDR, and.... it's an LDR. Maybe because I have gotten to see him fairly regularly to date, with the exception for the last 6 weeks or so, as it's been at least every 3 weeks... it has never struck me as constantly amazingly difficult. You learn to deal with it. In my case it's the only way I've ever loved. Being faithful isn't an issue, depending on how you see sex, whether it's 'just sex' and something you've *got* to have, regardless, or alternatively, an act of 'lovers', your opinion could differ.

There are many different ways to show affection however, and if this is lacking in the relationship, LD or nay, that's when fissures will set in. For any of the many potential reasons a couple could split up, for me, I don't envisage it ever being due to the distance.
ahem... I met mine online :smile:
mattwilson
I haven’t asked my girlfriend if I can do this but she won't mind. Also please read this as I feel like I have a lot to say but I will keep it short :smile:

I've been with her since Nov 9th 2003 ( :biggrin: 19 month anniversary today!) yet we first found each other in August 2003.

We met on a place like her and on a chat room, www.kiwibox.com. We became friends since we had big things in common (like we were starting orthodontic treatment at almost the same time) and we would email, talk on msn etc. It took that long till we wanted to be together and we became a couple

She lives in Missouri, America and me..well in Kent. But its not a problem because although it sounds really strange; our LDR is very secure and I could give plenty of reasons why so

- like I am going to Uni in Sept. I assume many of couples here are not looking forward to leaving.
- we are really honest to each other. She knows me better than everyone could ever do.
- there is a 6 hour time difference (me 6hrs ahead) but the hours are really able to manage. I can stay up really late some days, definitely weekends till like 1:30am, and we can chat for hours on msn together

its not that I couldn’t get a girl here. When I met her I had finished yr 11 at an all boys school. I’ve finished a mixed 6th form and I’ve got female friends, but none would have been as perfect as my long distance girlfriend. I felt like I took a very big risk when starting to be with her but I did realise she was the girl of my dreams

We haven’t met but we love each other dearly. Very recently there’s been good news. Her parents have allowed me to stay at their house for a week during my easter term break at uni. They know a lot about me too and they trust me to come over. I cant wait to meet them all. I’m gonna get a job at uni to raise enough for the plane ticket

We both have webcams and digital cameras. Some of my friends know about her and her friends know about me. We’ve talked on the phone on many occasions now. I can buy a 70 minute phone card for £3.50. We’ve also done all that’s possible to physically love each other either on msn or on the phone.

What interested me to write this was a thread on the General Chat board about relationships between members. I know a lot you guys seem to fancy other members! I know it isnt pathetic or anything, I know how you feel. I believe my girlfriend is perfect and we are prepared to wait for how many years it takes to live together. I plan to move after my degree. We’ve never argued and we always promise to love each other with all our heart. She is the best

I wanna know your thoughts or your own LDRs. I now know there must be others so I’m interested to share experiences and views!
I couldn’t justify my LDR as much as I wanted to I’ll be happy to answer any questions
:biggrin: Matt


Wow. I wasn't expecting to read that.

Seriously, I think you should just "be friends", that's just taking LDR to a whole new level. It's almost a new game.

I was expecting LDR's for like living 1-2 hours apart which is nothing to me.

I wouldn't recommend what you're thinking of doing at all.
Reply 12
Scarlett_Jewel
ahem... I met mine online :smile:


ahem did u, how pleasant
Originally posted by laura789

ahem did u, how pleasant




Lol!


technically through someone I knew from the internet,but potato/potARto. The more I get to know the internet the more I think you anti-meet-others-online-people are all stolid fuddyduddies :P

What happened if you went to a TSR meet-up and fancied someone and got together? That *would* be unfortunate.
I would agree with many people posting here that it might be best to distance yourself (emotionally, that wasn't supposed to be a pun) slightly until you meet at least, as you might find you don't like her in real life but cling on to your internet relationship which would be a bit difficult.

I'm surprised at the level of support that's been given here... normally the place is just full of bitter cynics who slag off LDRs.

I'd say if you want to do it and you feel it can work... well... that's the main thing, isn't it?
Reply 15
A lot has been said about the long distance thing and the internet etc.etc., but you also have to consider when you do meet her - i expect it will only be for a couple of weeks at the most., so similar to a holiday romance.
I myself had a gf in skye in scotland for a while, but when we got together it was after we'd been together for 2 weeks when i was working up there and we had just been talking a lot since. It is terrible if you are in that amazing early stage of a relationship and cant be together
just be friends, it hurts less when you know you will be apart so much
Reply 16
Scarlett_Jewel
Lol!


technically through someone I knew from the internet,but potato/potARto. The more I get to know the internet the more I think you anti-meet-others-online-people are all stolid fuddyduddies :P

What happened if you went to a TSR meet-up and fancied someone and got together? That *would* be unfortunate.


yay im a stolid fuddyduddy!!
Well while I think the idea of a LDR where you haven't actually meet is a bit, well not a relationship, he might be right, I knew a mate who had a girlfriend of around 3 years who he met on the internet and was doing the whole I think you're great even though I haven't met you thing for a few months. Although it's ended now and they were only a few hours by train away, not a few hours by plane :redface:. LDRs can work, you just have to i) really want it to work (where mine went a bit wrong) ii) trust each other. [There are other issues ofc but I think those of course are the most important!]
Reply 18
I have been with my girlfriend for one year and i will be going to university next year leaving her behind. She is one year younger than me so is doing AS's whereas I am finishing my A2s. It will be very hard but all we can do is try. If you don't try you may regret it for life.
Reply 19
spoonofdeath
Well while I think the idea of a LDR where you haven't actually meet is a bit, well not a relationship, he might be right, I knew a mate who had a girlfriend of around 3 years who he met on the internet and was doing the whole I think you're great even though I haven't met you thing for a few months. Although it's ended now and they were only a few hours by train away, not a few hours by plane :redface:. LDRs can work, you just have to i) really want it to work (where mine went a bit wrong) ii) trust each other. [There are other issues ofc but I think those of course are the most important!]


:smile: thank you all for taking time to read and respond. I wasnt worried that TSR would slag me off because I knew that guys my age would be leaving her partner behind for uni.

I've picked out the above reply to respond to everyone so far. Because definately her and I do want it to work. We want to be together forever. I know that sounds cheesey but thats what its like.

We trust each other very much. She considers me to very hot and did ask me to tell her of any occurances with any girls at uni (ie. if one asked me out). I will tell my girlfriend everything that happens to keep her #1. I also trust her with all my heart. One my best friends over here is a girl who i've been to cinema with. I let her know everything and she doesnt mind and neither do I because of the trust

Those are definately important issues, thank you spoonofdeath (lol!). I can't wait till we do meet in April. I havent been totally put off by comments telling me to prepare for dissapointments etc. I respect that. I understand what you mean and I wish I was with her in person. But I can imagine what it would be like