Uni help me get over her? Watch

cobi-7
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#1
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
#1
im going through some really tough times. Sometimes i think i just cant handle it.

Long story short my girlfriend of 6 months split with me because she cant be in a relationship, that she is too young to be in one... she is 18, im 23 and male btw.

I got over this ok but she keeps contacting me to go out etc etc as in we are seeing each other casually. But i cant keep it up because

1. she is immature for her age
2. she is manic depressive, bipolar
3. she is seeing other guys.

Usually for the 3rd part i wont mind cos we are casual, but she doesnt seem to understand we just came out of a relationship where i was inlove with her... i cant be around her if she is seeing other people its too weird.

Anyway to get to the point im starting uni all over again so im starting year 1 this year.
I had it set in my mind that once i start uni i will quickly get over her, as i will meet other people etc. I dont mean as in rebound or anything like that... im not that kind of guy but i just mean people to be friends with as most of my friends have moved away from home.

The main problem is that i figured i would meet 'new' people at uni but i found out that alot of people going to the uni im starting are from my area and to be honest, i dont like the people from my area...

i just wonder if im ever going to get over this and just move on... i need friends to do that... im worried i wont find any.
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iheartlaw
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Hello Cobi,

My boyfriend and I (together for 18 months) broke up once I started university. I broke up with him becuase it just wasn't working.

I felt that my degree was too important for me to put on the line and also my sanity. Every time we saw each other it was hard.

My situation was similar to yours - my university has a lot of people from my area or around there who know alot of people in my area and unfortunately their not the nicest people around!

Anyway, I made friends and I moved on.

You will meet more people at university than those that are in your area. Its all about the way we think.If you think, "hey I'm a nice guy and i'm happy to meet new people" - you will. If you think "hey, i'm worried and scared" - it will be harder.

Try to keep positive and it will help you get through this. I know its easier said than done. But trust me, I believe that you will get through this. I managed to and so will you.

Remember, you'll have lots of studying to do so your time will be consumed in that. Joining societies that you're interested in will also help keep you busy and meet other people.

You can get over this - it takes time, but you will. Friends will help you do that but so will...

- Believing in yourself
- Keeping busy
- Having a goal
- Fulfiling that goal
- Making plans
- Finding new interests
- Being strong

You can do it!
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Rogerio134
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Time is a great healer and you will 100% get over this.

The road may be bumpy my friend but the only way to get to the end of the road is to keep rollin` over the bumps and hold on till the road runs smoothe again.
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cobi-7
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iheartlaw - Thanks for the words. It means alot. I actually feel that bit better now. I just really feel the need to say no, we're finished, leave me alone.

i cant do this because im too much of a nice person to put someone down like that and second, i am still attracted to her and still have feels for her.

I know the best thing for me to do is get out of this asap, i just need the balls to do it.

She even called whilst i was writing this.

Its such a downer when ever she texts or calls. Kinda like what you mean about seeing you ex about here and there.


Rogerio134 - Thank you for that, i enjoyed reading that wisdom

Im just looking at this as things happen for a reason, im a nice guy and well bad things tend to happen to me, but i know one day something decent is going to happen for me... just need to move along with the rest of the world.

Thanks for the replies guys.

Cobi
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Skyjay
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Good vibes man
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iheartlaw
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(Original post by cobi-7)
iheartlaw - Thanks for the words. It means alot. I actually feel that bit better now. I just really feel the need to say no, we're finished, leave me alone.

i cant do this because im too much of a nice person to put someone down like that and second, i am still attracted to her and still have feels for her.

I know the best thing for me to do is get out of this asap, i just need the balls to do it.

She even called whilst i was writing this.

Its such a downer when ever she texts or calls. Kinda like what you mean about seeing you ex about here and there.


Rogerio134 - Thank you for that, i enjoyed reading that wisdom

Im just looking at this as things happen for a reason, im a nice guy and well bad things tend to happen to me, but i know one day something decent is going to happen for me... just need to move along with the rest of the world.

Thanks for the replies guys.

Cobi

Hi Cobi!

You're welcome.

As you've already experienced, its not going to be easy but rememeber life throws us these obstacles/problems - and through them we learn alot about ourselves and how to deal with it.

The positive is that you will be going to university soon and you will be a busy bee. You'll have studying, societies and meeting new people. Yes you may bump into those that you know back at home, but you can always walk past them as if they're not even there. I've been there and I've done it.

Strength to deal with this situation can come from you inside and even though you don't know your feelo TSR members - we're here to talk if you ever feel you want to. You're never alone. There are nice people out there (albeit not everywhere) but there are!

Keep focused on your goals, your career ones in particular and you will succeed.

How to resolve things with your ex girlfriend?
- Text her letting her no that you don't have free texts left/call time. She will stop expecting a reply and you won't be hurting her feelings. When she texts you, quickly read it and delete it. Don't reply (even if you do have texts). This is the beginning to you seperating yourself.
- Emails - just send her a nice email saying your really busy but you hope she's well (if she contacts you).
- When she rings don't pick up.

This is the nicest way you can do it. Don't be formal and distant but let her know you're busy when she tries and contacts you. You won';t feel bad on y our conscience and you'll get that space. And think about it - you're doing this not just for you but for her. It wasn't working out - she was seeing other guys.

I'm sure you will meet a lovely lady out there who is nice for you!
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iheartlaw
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#7
Report 9 years ago
#7
(Original post by cobi-7)
iheartlaw - Thanks for the words. It means alot. I actually feel that bit better now. I just really feel the need to say no, we're finished, leave me alone.

i cant do this because im too much of a nice person to put someone down like that and second, i am still attracted to her and still have feels for her.

I know the best thing for me to do is get out of this asap, i just need the balls to do it.

She even called whilst i was writing this.

Its such a downer when ever she texts or calls. Kinda like what you mean about seeing you ex about here and there.


Rogerio134 - Thank you for that, i enjoyed reading that wisdom

Im just looking at this as things happen for a reason, im a nice guy and well bad things tend to happen to me, but i know one day something decent is going to happen for me... just need to move along with the rest of the world.

Thanks for the replies guys.

Cobi

Hi Cobi!

You're welcome.

As you've already experienced, its not going to be easy but rememeber life throws us these obstacles/problems - and through them we learn alot about ourselves and how to deal with it.

The positive is that you will be going to university soon and you will be a busy bee. You'll have studying, societies and meeting new people. Yes you may bump into those that you know back at home, but you can always walk past them as if they're not even there. I've been there and I've done it.

Strength to deal with this situation can come from you inside and even though you don't know your feelo TSR members - we're here to talk if you ever feel you want to. You're never alone. There are nice people out there (albeit not everywhere) but there are!

Keep focused on your goals, your career ones in particular and you will succeed.

How to resolve things with your ex girlfriend?
- Text her letting her no that you don't have free texts left/call time. She will stop expecting a reply and you won't be hurting her feelings. When she texts you, quickly read it and delete it. Don't reply (even if you do have texts). This is the beginning to you seperating yourself.
- Emails - just send her a nice email saying your really busy but you hope she's well (if she contacts you).
- When she rings don't pick up.

This is the nicest way you can do it. Don't be formal and distant but let her know you're busy when she tries and contacts you. You won';t feel bad on y our conscience and you'll get that space. And think about it - you're doing this not just for you but for her. It wasn't working out - she was seeing other guys.

I'm sure you will meet a lovely lady out there who is nice for you! :o:
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