"Treat them mean, keep them keen", grr. Watch

Imparfait
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Okay, so i was having a phone conversation with a male friend on the phone last night, and he made a comment about "treating them mean, to keep them keen". Honestly, where the heck did this statement come from? and who in their right mind would want to be treated like rubbish? Do people actually think this is a valid way to keep a person interested? and if so where are they taught this ridiculousness? :confused:

Is it just me that thinks that this treatment must only work on the emotionally stunted? And that if you have to treat someone like this to get their attention then you should take the hint that they do not really like you in the first place.

Sorry about the minor rant haha :p:. I just thought it would be interesting to hear the responses on this.
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Resok
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In my experience it's damn true. Not like REALLY mean, but just a little bit. The whole thing where girls want to be treated like princess' never gets them interested.
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taylorrrr96
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There's 2 ways of doing it, the childish way i.e actually being mean to them, pushing them and not talking to them (i got alot of that in hs) or the more mature way which basically means taking it slow, not showing too much interest i.e not snogging them or telling them how sexy they are the first time you meet.
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Danielle89
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If you treat me mean Im likely to tell you its not working and cease contact. I dont put up with ******** - things like changing plans at last minute, acting aloof, it's all a waste of time. Say/act how you feel or you can **** off.
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Gueirguiy
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It's not so much treat them mean, it's more to do with not a*slicking the girl (following her round, paying lots attention to her etc). Through not doing this, it can make alot of girls start following you in order to gain your attention.
You shouldn't just blank her though! Get her a bit interested then you get out.

This isn't the case for all girls, but it is the case for most.

Although i personally prefer not to mess around with girls who are so easy.
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the.white.rabbit
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(Original post by Force)
There's 2 ways of doing it, the childish way i.e actually being mean to them, pushing them and not talking to them (i got alot of that in hs) or the more mature way which basically means taking it slow, not showing too much interest i.e not snogging them or telling them how sexy they are the first time you meet.
This is the right way to do it!.....it definitely does work...it'd get me more interested! :yep:
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Antonia87
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To be honest, if a guy acts like he's not interested and effectively forces me to make the signals, I'll just assume that *shock horror* he's not interested and move on.
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paniking_and_not_revising
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Uh, I would slap the guy.
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Reue
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My last GF actually made first contact with me because she saw me being overly sarcastic and mean :P

Obviously girls dont like mean as in beating them up and hurling abuse at them.. but the occasionaly sarcastic or patronising response seems to spark some girl's interests
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mipegg
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Treating a girl well gets you friends zoned in experience....
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DaveSteed24
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(Original post by Imparfait)
Okay, so i was having a phone conversation with a male friend on the phone last night, and he made a comment about "treating them mean, to keep them keen". Honestly, where the heck did this statement come from? and who in their right mind would want to be treated like rubbish? Do people actually think this is a valid way to keep a person interested? and if so where are they taught this ridiculousness? :confused:

Is it just me that thinks that this treatment must only work on the emotionally stunted? And that if you have to treat someone like this to get their attention then you should take the hint that they do not really like you in the first place.

Sorry about the minor rant haha :p:. I just thought it would be interesting to hear the responses on this.
i'd never do this to a girl - i couldn't - i pretty much go by 'act very keen to keep em keen' - lol - so lots of messages/phonecalls - calling her sweet and beautiful all the time - course i've come across girls in the past who wanted me to 'play the game' :rolleyes: which i think is ridiculous - so i just didn't change and i finally found someone who likes the way i am
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No Future
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(Original post by Resok)
In my experience it's damn true. Not like REALLY mean, but just a little bit. The whole thing where girls want to be treated like princess' never gets them interested.
Don't be so silly.

Obv not clingy, but treat a lady right!
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Danielle89
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(Original post by Reue)
My last GF actually made first contact with me because she saw me being overly sarcastic and mean :P

Obviously girls dont like mean as in beating them up and hurling abuse at them.. but the occasionaly sarcastic or patronising response seems to spark some girl's interests
Wouldnt say patronising, but I love having chat with a guy where we kinda take the piss out of each other in a teasing sort of way. I only do this when Im comfortable around him though, when the walls come down a bit. Its more about the guy's sense of humour and personality though than him playing a game where he pulls my pigtails to show how much he likes me...
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truthandtragedy
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It actually works though. Generally, people aren't interested in clingy potential partners. I know that if a guy was texting me 20 times an hour then I'd be pretty tired of him within a few days. But, if they take a few hours to text back, then I know that I reply quicker and am more excited to hear from them! Not sure how it works for guys, but that's definitely how it goes for me. Attentiveness is nice once in a relationship, but being super-nice at the beginning usually just freaks me out.
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matrix15
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Its about balance. Don't come onto her like a slobbering OTT moron. On the other hand don't ignore her and make her do all the work. Take it at the right pace.
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Barton1
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Treating them mean and keen keeps them away from the friend zone and put in the sexy zone.
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Rogerio134
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(Original post by truthandtragedy)
It actually works though. Generally, people aren't interested in clingy potential partners. I know that if a guy was texting me 20 times an hour then I'd be pretty tired of him within a few days. But, if they take a few hours to text back, then I know that I reply quicker and am more excited to hear from them! Not sure how it works for guys, but that's definitely how it goes for me. Attentiveness is nice once in a relationship, but being super-nice at the beginning usually just freaks me out.
Its very true. Ive had both ends of the spectrum and i find it difficult to control it sometimes.

Ive had girls who i havent been bothered about so i dont contact them much etc and they were well into me and wanted more all the time, i didnt deliberately treat them bad i just wasnt that interested but because of this they tried harder and liked me more.

But ive had GFs who i really liked alot and i just go crazy texting and getting them gifts seeing them all the time etc, and it dosent really work they get bored and overwhelmed by it.

Ive learned the lesson now to just chill out a bit and take it a bit easier. But when your REALLY into someone its bloody hard to not pay attention to them as much as they are on your mind all the time so its not an ideal situation.
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Imparfait
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(Original post by matrix15)
Its about balance. Don't come onto her like a slobbering OTT moron. On the other hand don't ignore her and make her do all the work. Take it at the right pace.
I mean i agree with this, I'm not really talking about the start of a relationship, cause obviously if you just met the girl and you are all over her then you could come across as annoying and weird. I'm talking about when you have already goten to know the girl a bit, then why would you need to treat her mean to keep the interest? Makes no sense.
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Flying Cookie
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To put it simple,

that crap doesn't work for those who want to actually get a relationship.

But it works damn well if you're only looking for grade 3-type fun

There is a big difference between the ping pong effect i.e. not showing too much interest unless the other person responds equivalently, and "treating girls mean". Did I say there is a heck of a lot of a difference?

Yes? Uhuh? Ok. Ok.
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FormerlyHistoryStudent
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I don't think that's generally true. If a guy did that to me, I'd assume he wasn't interested and he'd be out of the door. If he doesn't show any interest and expects me to do all the work, he can find someone else. I thought guys were supposed to be the ones who didn't play games?
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