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    in an ideal world, i would like my gf to be a virgin. but at the begining of this term i had to make a decision whether or not to dump this girl because of her past. she was only just 21 and she'd slept with 8 lads before me (7 of which were from uni!!!!!!), a couple of which were one night stands!!. so i decided it was for the best that i finished it.

    however, me and one of my old flames pulled again the other night and i'm thinking of (and i really wanna) actually go out with her this time round. she's slept with a few blokes but not 8, and while it still bothers me, i can live with it. however, she's told me that shes pulled quite a few girls and stuff and that she's bi. this doesn't bother me in the least. at the mo its feels like i wouldn't care if she'd have messed around with loads of girls, but judging by my reaction to my previous gf's behaviour, will this come to bother me in time.

    i know neither are great things in a new gf, but what do you reckon would be a bigger problem, bisexuality or the fact she's been about.
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    Well mate, none of us can answer that for you really. You'll know what you feel.

    By the sounds of your post, it's impossible to go either way. On one hand, you seem completely unconcerned, but at the same time you seem to have a few doubts as well.
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    Umm ticky one, from a medical point of view the fact that she's been around, you need to be sure that she's not got any STDs. but if thats all ok, then i dont see a problem with the fact that she's been around practice makes perfect right? would you rather have someone who knew what they were doing and could please you or someone doesnt know anything? the bisexuality shouldnt affect your realtionship if you trust her and she trusts you! Apart from the STD thing i would say stop worrying and enjoy the realtionship!
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    (Original post by Shelbycakes)
    Umm ticky one, from a medical point of view the fact that she's been around, you need to be sure that she's not got any STDs. but if thats all ok, then i dont see a problem with the fact that she's been around practice makes perfect right? would you rather have someone who knew what they were doing and could please you or someone doesnt know anything? the bisexuality shouldnt affect your realtionship if you trust her and she trusts you! Apart from the STD thing i would say stop worrying and enjoy the realtionship!
    no i think i should make clear that the bi girl hasn't been about. had a few boyfriends and shes 19.

    there's no way i could or would get back with the girl whos been with 8 blokes. that's history. i just use that as an example of where i stand morally. second girl got tested b4 we had unprotected sex. she was clean, but the fact she had to do that surely says something about what type of girl she is. i finished it after three months and the split was quite bitter considering i was honest about my motives. i thought that because she was honest enough to tell me about the less virtuous acts she's done i should at least not make up some bs reason. in essence i suppose it was a case of not wanting to invest emotionally in a girl other blokes had had for free.

    the point here is this- if it drives me to distraction knowing that a girl i feel close to has been about, why isn't it doing the same knowing my new (or rather rekindled) interest has been doing stuff with girls? is this another trap i'm waiting to fall into.
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    Why is there a correlation between a girl sleeping around and a girl being bisexual?

    I seem to have missed the logic behind this.
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    (Original post by Luize)
    Why is there a correlation between a girl sleeping around and a girl being bisexual?

    I seem to have missed the logic behind this.
    there is none in my mind at the moment. i think sleeping around is infinitely worse. but it pissed me off more as we became closer. i'm really looking for the opinions of lads and which one would bother them more in a partner.
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    but you've slept with more than this girl right, and its unreasonable to expect a girlfriend to be a virgin when you're not one yourself.
    I don't think you should question your feelings, and the fact that you are okay with the situation even though shes not a virgin and is bisexual, it is a much healthier mindest than refusing to date nonvirgins.

    edit: just read above post and realise this wasn't actually what you were asking for sorry. Well I'm a girl so can't really properly answer..
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    cambridgemuscle, are you a virgin?
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    (Original post by riccardo)
    cambridgemuscle, are you a virgin?
    no. what should that have to do with how i feel about a potential gf.
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    (Original post by cambridgemuscle)
    no. what should that have to do with how i feel about a potential gf.
    It's a bit hypocritical to expect a gf to be a virgin when you are not one yourself.
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    Well I don't think you should make virginity a requisite of a girlfriend if you're not a virgin yourself. If you have slept with others, why shouldn't a potential girlfriend have done so?
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    (Original post by riccardo)
    Well I don't think you should make virginity a requisite of a girlfriend if you're not a virgin yourself. If you have slept with others, why shouldn't a potential girlfriend have done so?
    i know what you're saying obviously. i've slept with 5 girls and i'm 20, all of which have been in relationships to one degree or another. i told her i couldn't be with her because she's had two one night stands and that i would feel uncomfortable investing emotionally in her.
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    Well, you're free to believe what you want. But one night stands aren't bad, and two..that's nothing really.
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    most people have 1night stands
    i havn't personaly cause im in a relationship.

    but people who are experiment and have fun
    if it involved sex between friend or one night stands it just happens.

    you should be more concerned about the fact do you trust her. if she had had one night stands whilst in a relationship that may lead to a problem of trust. anything else is just experimenting or having a little fun.

    if you trust this girl and really like her, her sexualy history shouldn't spoil you having a brilliant relationship.
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    (Original post by cambridgemuscle)
    i know what you're saying obviously. i've slept with 5 girls and i'm 20, all of which have been in relationships to one degree or another. i told her i couldn't be with her because she's had two one night stands and that i would feel uncomfortable investing emotionally in her.
    what's wrong with one night stands? the whole point about them and flings is that you dont care enough about the person to go out with them? my boyfriend was happy that i chose to go out with him and not the guys i'd been casually seeing just previous to him. i think the word he used was "proud".
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    Checklist for potential new girlfriend.

    Brain-1
    Eyes-2
    Ears-2
    Nose-1
    Mouth-1
    Breasts-Yes
    Arms-2
    Legs-2
    Virginity - ...........oh please!! http://www.cruisemusic.biz/woot/rofl.gif
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    (Original post by Spider)
    Well, you're free to believe what you want. But one night stands aren't bad, and two..that's nothing really.
    its really just down to personal opinion. i went through a stage where i was pulling 4 or five girls a night, every night i went out, but i'd never go further. just think it cheapens the whole thing and if she's have sex 6 hours after meeting me then i probably wouldn't want to be with her anyway. I respect your opinion and if it doesn't bother u then that's alright mate. good for u. i sometimes wish i felt the same.

    i think opinion is so split on this which sort of ****ed me up 6 weeks back. half my mates said drop her now, the other half called me a macho prat. prbably not surprisingly, girls fell down on latter, blokes on the former.

    now the same lines are drawn. blokes are telling me how they wouldn't like the bisexuality thing, whilst girls reckon its not a prob. i'm inclined now to agree with most my girl mates on this and was wondering if this was weird. my old man reckons neither are ideal situations.
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    Its not weird, if she's chosen you over a girl then she's chosen you! stop looking for the bad in this and just enjoy what you've got!
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    (Original post by cambridgemuscle)
    just think it cheapens the whole thing
    Definitely agree with you on that. At the end of the day - and risking sounding like a parrot - the only opinion that matters is yours - I have to say I don't envy your dilemma - I don't know how I would have reacted.
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    I have spoken to guys about their gf being bi.
    None of them have had a problem with it. They see it as they have a gf and she likes both men and women...but has picked them. Also if you are the type of person to comment on women you think are attractive the girl can join in without worries of people thinking she is something shes not. (I know some people tend to not make any comments when in a relationship so it depends on you really)
    I've never had anyone say it could be a bad thing.
 
 
 
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