er, advice? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
#1
Anon please, obvious reasons.
Idk if this is the right sub forum, sorry.

I'm 16 years old, and I've always hated the way I looked, ever since I was picked on for my nose and hair in middle school. Since then my face has become more proportioned and I do my hair now, but I think the whole thing still effects me. People tell me I'm pretty, but I'm convinced they are either taking the piss or trying to make me feel better.
This has added to me having completely no self confidence, and this effects my life so much. I can't leave the house if there is something wrong with my hair or makeup. Its also causing extreme mood swings. I've missed out on so many things because of this, and I don't know what to do.
I want to sort myself out before I completely destroy my family.

Before you ask, I don't have anyone I can talk to. I have lots of friends, but none that I trust. I've tried talking to my mum but she just goes on about "we do our best for you" etc. She just thinks i'm selfish.

Basically I don't know what to do. And because I have noone else to talk to I am consulting TSR. And now I am realising how pointless this is. But I've written it all now, so..
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forever_dreamer
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#2
Report 9 years ago
#2
I don't know what I can say to help.
Some peole just seem to be born confident but others seem to have to work at it harder. I had to work at it! Get out there, meet new people and have fun. If you're personality shines then you will be less worried about the way you look.
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acid8000
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#3
Report 9 years ago
#3
I'm sure you're beautiful darling.
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I'm_Unsafe.
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#4
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#4
Keep friends around who don't judge you on the way you look, and get away from people/situations where you feel overly self conscious or put down. That's all I can suggest. That's what works for me.

Also, you say you miss out on things, so instead of hesitating, just go for stuff. Take some risks.
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iheartlaw
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#5
Report 9 years ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Anon please, obvious reasons.
Idk if this is the right sub forum, sorry.

I'm 16 years old, and I've always hated the way I looked, ever since I was picked on for my nose and hair in middle school. Since then my face has become more proportioned and I do my hair now, but I think the whole thing still effects me. People tell me I'm pretty, but I'm convinced they are either taking the piss or trying to make me feel better.
This has added to me having completely no self confidence, and this effects my life so much. I can't leave the house if there is something wrong with my hair or makeup. Its also causing extreme mood swings. I've missed out on so many things because of this, and I don't know what to do.
I want to sort myself out before I completely destroy my family.

Before you ask, I don't have anyone I can talk to. I have lots of friends, but none that I trust. I've tried talking to my mum but she just goes on about "we do our best for you" etc. She just thinks i'm selfish.

Basically I don't know what to do. And because I have noone else to talk to I am consulting TSR. And now I am realising how pointless this is. But I've written it all now, so..
Dear Anon,

When I was younger I had an eating disorder and it effected my mood (e.g. mood swings) and my general behaviour and attitude to leaving the house and going out or going shopping etc. I'm telling you this so you can feel that on some form or level we can relate to each other and that you take or at least perhaps consider some of the advice I am giving you.

I had an eating disorder as a result of bullying. In primary school people used to bully me due to my weight and in secondary school I became very self conscious of it and was unfortunately bullied for a while too. However, i didn't want the bullies to continue so I thought by becomming more attractive they would back off a bit. Bizarely enough it worked.

Being picked on can effect a person but at the same time you've done something good by seeking some advice. I understnad that you have many friends but you can't trust them about this matter and your mother feels your being selfish - thus its hard for you to talk to her about this.

Lets first focus on the positive that you have achknwoedledg that you're affected by what happend before. Now that was in the past, we need to help you focus onthe future and it is something you can do.

You've found a problem in how you're feeling and there are always some kind or form of solution to problems.

The solution that I propose is that you try and join more social activities in something you enjoy or perhaps even go to ryour local library more often. Remember always to smile. This may sound like silly advice or even slightly bizzare (the library part) but what I want you to do is to push yourself out of your comfort zone and be around more people. Being around people and feeling confident is key to you overcomming how you're feeling. You can overcome this feeling.

Life is all about progressing and developing. You can progress and develop to a stage wherey ou don't feel horrendous if you don't have your make up and your hair the right way. The more you start feeling confident, then the less you should wear of a bit of make up - i.e. take a tiny bit off/or wear a bit less when you're going out (and feeling more confident). This will in some way also help you not to feel so secure by painting your face with make up to make you feel more attractive.

Another idea is to go somwhere like swimming - a place where your make up is all rubbed off by the water, a place where your hair can be unpredictable. You could do this after a while when you start to feel more confident - sortv'e like a final transition to you feeling better about yourself. The big bang - the starting swimming!

I really hope that you do feel better. Time is a healer. I know we're all impatient people but your time will come whne you feel better. Take into consideration some of the ideas above.

Take care.
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lauh88
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#6
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#6
Maybe you should go the docs for advice on counseling? Sounds like the bullies are still affecting you. Or you could be suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder, or you might even have a chemical imbalance and need anti depressants?
I really think you should go and see a professional as I'm just guessing, hope you work it out!
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voudreau
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
And now I am realising how pointless this is.
That's a good thing. It's easy to get hung up on little things but sometimes you need to put it into perspective. Just having people to talk to... or a forum to post on can help!
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emanuel_arsenalfc
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#8
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#8
lol sorry but are u asian..coz russel peters always makes this joke that when God created Asians the Chinese took eyes and left the Indians with noses and hair...

buuut dnt let anyone judge you..and dnt let it get to you..and if they do, well they are mugs and dnt deserve to even have faces..lol..
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RollerBall
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#9
Report 9 years ago
#9
Eat some concrete and harden the **** up.
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