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Girls: A new problem...
...plus an update from before.
For those that had helped before.
Girl One. - Finally admitted she had a guy and apologised for leading me on. No probs at all with her - she wants to be mates and thats fine by me.
Girl Two. - Well she gave me her number, and also said she was defo up for a drink and had no guy, but then cancelled our lunch date, suggested an alternative time which I couldn't make and then didn't reply to my second suggested meeting time.
This one is puzzling me as I have given her loads of opportunity to blow me out previously and she seemed pretty keen - is she interested and playing games or have I been blown out?
NB: Girl One suggested that we go for a drink where girl two works to make her jealous (girl one is pretty hot) - should I do this?
Thanks in advance
Mr J
For those that had helped before.
Girl One. - Finally admitted she had a guy and apologised for leading me on. No probs at all with her - she wants to be mates and thats fine by me.
Girl Two. - Well she gave me her number, and also said she was defo up for a drink and had no guy, but then cancelled our lunch date, suggested an alternative time which I couldn't make and then didn't reply to my second suggested meeting time.
This one is puzzling me as I have given her loads of opportunity to blow me out previously and she seemed pretty keen - is she interested and playing games or have I been blown out?
NB: Girl One suggested that we go for a drink where girl two works to make her jealous (girl one is pretty hot) - should I do this?
Thanks in advance
Mr J
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i guess she doesnt want to blow you now..
re: girl two and a guy. Well I asked her specifically, if she did want to go for a drink. At the same time, I said there was no problem with if she didn;'t, and also if she had a guy then that was fine too. She was adamant that she did and there was no guy. Said that I seemed like a decent guy and you could tell when you could trust a man.
Problem followed the next day (re: the above)?
mr J
Problem followed the next day (re: the above)?
mr J
Girl Two has changed her mind since offering you an initial drink. She is just trying to be polite. If she saw you with Girl One she'd be happy for you, and also relieved that your attention was divereted away from her. It's all very British.
Well I asked her specifically, if she did want to go for a drink. At the same time, I said there was no problem with if she didn;'t, and also if she had a guy then that was fine too. She was adamant that she did and there was no guy. Said that I seemed like a decent guy and you could tell when you could trust a man.
If I were that girl, I wouldn't feel able to say "No, I don't want to go for a drink with you".
Actually I'm in a similar situation, this guy I know has been asking if I'd like to go for a drink and I've said yes to avoid hurting his feelings. But I haven't made any specific plans in the hope he'll forget about it!
However, if you're definitely sure that she does want to go for a drink with you, perhaps she just didn't have credit like hel437 said.
I'm not so sure about the 'making her jealous' plan...one the one hand, it could work really well and she'll realise that she does like you. Or it could backfire horribly, she might realise that she doesn't like you. Or even worse, she might think you're with Girl 1 and leave you to it and/or get really upset about it. It depends whether you're willing to risk it I suppose
does she really like me? I don't know ...lol!
I asked her for her email - she gave it to me, I've spotted all her friends 'checking me out'. all the bar maids she works with are very chatty and friendly too. She doesn't avoid me at all and tends to hang around. She smiles when she sees me etc - let me kiss her on the cheek (not a lot I know but she was working) and she was the one who made a point of giving me her number. Also, said she did want to go for a drink.
BUT
on the other hand, this has been dragging out a while now, and we haven't been out for a drink. So its got me stumped a bit!
I asked her for her email - she gave it to me, I've spotted all her friends 'checking me out'. all the bar maids she works with are very chatty and friendly too. She doesn't avoid me at all and tends to hang around. She smiles when she sees me etc - let me kiss her on the cheek (not a lot I know but she was working) and she was the one who made a point of giving me her number. Also, said she did want to go for a drink.
BUT
on the other hand, this has been dragging out a while now, and we haven't been out for a drink. So its got me stumped a bit!
She is obviously the indecisive type, so I don't think making her jealous at work with the other girl is a good idea - she's bound to think that you're an item; and then she definitely won't make the effort to meet up for fear of embarrassment, rejection and humiliation.
Just ask her to be totally straight with you - pin her down (in the metaphorical sense of course!) and just say 'Look, I like you, you say you like me. Please can we either set a date to go out here and now, or shall we just leave it - because this is just going round in circles. I'd much rather you just say if you're not that interested - don't worry about offending me, I'm a pretty resilient guy'.
I definitely, 100%, totally would recommend that you DON'T try and make her jealous!
Just ask her to be totally straight with you - pin her down (in the metaphorical sense of course!) and just say 'Look, I like you, you say you like me. Please can we either set a date to go out here and now, or shall we just leave it - because this is just going round in circles. I'd much rather you just say if you're not that interested - don't worry about offending me, I'm a pretty resilient guy'.
I definitely, 100%, totally would recommend that you DON'T try and make her jealous!
Lauren18
Just ask her to be totally straight with you - pin her down (in the metaphorical sense of course!) and just say 'Look, I like you, you say you like me. Please can we either set a date to go out here and now, or shall we just leave it - because this is just going round in circles. I'd much rather you just say if you're not that interested - don't worry about offending me, I'm a pretty resilient guy'.
I definitely, 100%, totally would recommend that you DON'T try and make her jealous!
Just ask her to be totally straight with you - pin her down (in the metaphorical sense of course!) and just say 'Look, I like you, you say you like me. Please can we either set a date to go out here and now, or shall we just leave it - because this is just going round in circles. I'd much rather you just say if you're not that interested - don't worry about offending me, I'm a pretty resilient guy'.
I definitely, 100%, totally would recommend that you DON'T try and make her jealous!
I was under the impression thats what i'd done already!
'I'd much rather you just say if you're not that interested - don't worry about offending me, I'm a pretty resilient guy'.' is pretty much word for word what i've said already!
This is going to sound incredibly harsh, but its something I have a lot of experience with...
are you sure you're not blowing all of these things you see as indicative of her feelings out of proportion?
When I broke up with a boyfriend a while ago, I really wanted to get back together with him. We stayed friends, but everytime he so much as hugged me, I took it took it to mean that he wanted to get married, have three children and a cat called Fluffy!
For example, if someone asks for your email address, you can't not give it to them, it seems rude (we're Brits remember!). Girls chat all the time, including who fancies who, etc. It could be that they were 'checking you out' to see what kind of guy fancies their friend. Barmaids have to be friendly and chatty to some degree, its part of the job. I smile at pretty much everyone I see that I know - its almost a reflex now.
Hopefully you see what I mean...all I'm saying is, don't get your hopes up too much. If I were you, I'd let her do the legwork now. If she wants to go for a drink with you, she has your number. In the meantime, don't sit by the phone, go out and have some fun
are you sure you're not blowing all of these things you see as indicative of her feelings out of proportion?
When I broke up with a boyfriend a while ago, I really wanted to get back together with him. We stayed friends, but everytime he so much as hugged me, I took it took it to mean that he wanted to get married, have three children and a cat called Fluffy!
For example, if someone asks for your email address, you can't not give it to them, it seems rude (we're Brits remember!). Girls chat all the time, including who fancies who, etc. It could be that they were 'checking you out' to see what kind of guy fancies their friend. Barmaids have to be friendly and chatty to some degree, its part of the job. I smile at pretty much everyone I see that I know - its almost a reflex now.
Hopefully you see what I mean...all I'm saying is, don't get your hopes up too much. If I were you, I'd let her do the legwork now. If she wants to go for a drink with you, she has your number. In the meantime, don't sit by the phone, go out and have some fun
Amie, yeah i know what you mean - but i'm fairly blunt when it comes down to it and a pretty good flirt.
I'm reasonably sure, she is (or was) attracted to me - and then there's being friendly and being overly friendly if you catch my drift? Believe me, I understand what you're saying but I am a realist!
I'm reasonably sure, she is (or was) attracted to me - and then there's being friendly and being overly friendly if you catch my drift? Believe me, I understand what you're saying but I am a realist!
Go for it again, if she doesn't give you a date straight away then say the balls in her court and your not gonna go running after her anymore. Don't make it seem like your desperate (not being nasty!)
the jelousy thing could work, a guy who i didnt like at the time of him liking me has now told me he likes someone else and im now kinda feeling jealous, u guys cant win with us!
Best of luck and hope you get your girl!
x
the jelousy thing could work, a guy who i didnt like at the time of him liking me has now told me he likes someone else and im now kinda feeling jealous, u guys cant win with us!
Best of luck and hope you get your girl!
x
To be honest, i wouldn't read too much into anything.
I wouldn't read too much information into the fact that she's asked you to go for a drink anyway. She probably thinks your nice looking, but doesn't want anything more.
Why are you asking us anyway? She's the only one who can tell you for sure whats going on.
I wouldn't read too much information into the fact that she's asked you to go for a drink anyway. She probably thinks your nice looking, but doesn't want anything more.
Why are you asking us anyway? She's the only one who can tell you for sure whats going on.
...Back off a bit and see how she reacts, if she really wants a date then she'll come after you!
Mr J
Lol - contact her, don't contact her, lay it on the line, no be patient ...no wonder us guys have no idea!
Right, I'm in Berlin tomoro and Budapest on Tuesday - I'll text her while I'm out there and ask her if she still on for a drink when i get back - sound ok?
Right, I'm in Berlin tomoro and Budapest on Tuesday - I'll text her while I'm out there and ask her if she still on for a drink when i get back - sound ok?
Sounds awesome, but go with your gut instinct. Patience is a virtue, really it is hehe
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