Turn on thread page Beta

what factors make you decide to go on a date with a guy? watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    OK

    Seen as I've been experienceing all sorts of problems getting certain women out for a drink, then my querstion to females is what factors make you decide to take the plunge with a guy?

    I don't mean giving nos, I mean actually deciding to go for a date.

    Obviously, I could do with improving in this area and the other guys here could certainly benefit from female wisdom.

    Mr J
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    are you michael jackson
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    no ...yee hee shamoor mother f....r!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mr J)
    OK

    Seen as I've been experienceing all sorts of problems getting certain women out for a drink, then my querstion to females is what factors make you decide to take the plunge with a guy?

    I don't mean giving nos, I mean actually deciding to go for a date.
    I'd consider these things I guess, although most of the time I think you just 'know' whether there is any point in going, without having to work through a checklist or anything hehe:

    * Physical attraction
    * Attractive personality
    * Has a personality similar to my own?
    * Is not someone just looking for a fling
    * Someone who treats me well, doesn't play mind games
    * Someone who is persistent but not annoyingly so (it's nice when a guy obviously really wants you to say 'yes')

    Meh.. to be honest, I really don't think there's much point carrying on.. every girl is different, and there's no point trying to make yourself seem like the perfect date, it won't wash anyway. Just be yourself, you have to be at some point.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    most important thing I think is just be natural, if you seem to be some kind of guy who is desperate to get just any girlfriend, then you can forget it.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Hi Mr J,

    Loz and Bricktops will agree with me on this one: women hate how desperation smells. Plus they have a superduper megazord desperate guy -detecting radar pre-installed.

    Because this will not make sense to most of the guys who read the Relationships sub-forum, let me break it down into bitesize chunks for you...

    - When someone says something like this, what they're trying to say is that there's something about "desperation" that women pick up on... but it's not easy to describe.

    - Desperation comes across in all kinds of subtle ways, from how you talk to a woman, to the eye contact that you make, to how often you call her.

    - Women can "smell" it because women are approximately ten times better at reading body language than men. Your body language says everything about you to a woman... so if you want to get better at attracting women, you'd better start paying attention to and taking control of it.

    I have a good friend (no, he's not a Kings War Studies pretty boy) who holds his drink a certain way when he's talking to a woman that he's interested in. He does it almost every time. Is it important? A little. Maybe not at all with some women. WOrk it out for yourself.

    The main thing is that most guys are afraid of approaching women and starting conversations. When you say the words "ice breaker", you assume that a woman is going to respond to you "coldly". You know, Ice=Cold.

    The fact is that there are a certain percentage of women out there who are happy, open, and receptive in general, and a certain amount that are cold, closed, and not receptive.

    When I was young, naive and still in a teenage approval-seeking stage, I tried all sorts of things to grow out of it. One of these was a pivotal night out. I spent the night walking up to girls one after the other and simply saying "Hi, I'm out meeting people tonight, what's your name?" and got all kinds of positive responses.

    Just remember that most women will respond somewhere in the range of "neutral" to "positive" if you say almost anything to them. Say nothing about kitchens/blondes though, that is the dark side - fear..anger..hate..dark side or whatever it is that Yoda says!

    Now, if you want to start conversations in bars and nightclubs, and you just can't get the nerve up to do it, try this: Find a busy place near the bar where people are lining up to order drinks. Find a place where people are literally crammed together like sardines. The point is that there's a way to put yourself in a situation that automatically sparks conversations. You just need to be ready when it happens.

    The more you meet, the more options you have. The more options you have for a phone call, a date, a night out (or even in), the less you figure on girls' sophisticated military-grade desperate wussy-tracking devices. Go fish.

    And Loz18, we should start a coaching programme once you get to Kings... give guys/girls a fair bit of insight then charge for further, more indepth, details... you know, £100 an hour should do it nicely.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    when you say lozza or loz, do you mean me or someone else? because you're confusing me.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    The Loz I'm talking about hasn't even got a hint of a Mersey accent.

    But if she did, it'd be blue.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by feelthesunshine)
    Hi Mr J,

    Loz and Bricktops will agree with me on this one: women hate how desperation smells. Plus they have a superduper megazord desperate guy -detecting radar pre-installed.

    Because this will not make sense to most of the guys who read the Relationships sub-forum, let me break it down into bitesize chunks for you...

    - When someone says something like this, what they're trying to say is that there's something about "desperation" that women pick up on... but it's not easy to describe.

    - Desperation comes across in all kinds of subtle ways, from how you talk to a woman, to the eye contact that you make, to how often you call her.

    - Women can "smell" it because women are approximately ten times better at reading body language than men. Your body language says everything about you to a woman... so if you want to get better at attracting women, you'd better start paying attention to and taking control of it.

    I have a good friend (no, he's not a Kings War Studies pretty boy) who holds his drink a certain way when he's talking to a woman that he's interested in. He does it almost every time. Is it important? A little. Maybe not at all with some women. WOrk it out for yourself.

    The main thing is that most guys are afraid of approaching women and starting conversations. When you say the words "ice breaker", you assume that a woman is going to respond to you "coldly". You know, Ice=Cold.

    The fact is that there are a certain percentage of women out there who are happy, open, and receptive in general, and a certain amount that are cold, closed, and not receptive.

    When I was young, naive and still in a teenage approval-seeking stage, I tried all sorts of things to grow out of it. One of these was a pivotal night out. I spent the night walking up to girls one after the other and simply saying "Hi, I'm out meeting people tonight, what's your name?" and got all kinds of positive responses.

    Just remember that most women will respond somewhere in the range of "neutral" to "positive" if you say almost anything to them. Say nothing about kitchens/blondes though, that is the dark side - fear..anger..hate..dark side or whatever it is that Yoda says!

    Now, if you want to start conversations in bars and nightclubs, and you just can't get the nerve up to do it, try this: Find a busy place near the bar where people are lining up to order drinks. Find a place where people are literally crammed together like sardines. The point is that there's a way to put yourself in a situation that automatically sparks conversations. You just need to be ready when it happens.

    The more you meet, the more options you have. The more options you have for a phone call, a date, a night out (or even in), the less you figure on girls' sophisticated military-grade desperate wussy-tracking devices. Go fish.

    And Loz18, we should start a coaching programme once you get to Kings... give guys/girls a fair bit of insight then charge for further, more indepth, details... you know, £100 an hour should do it nicely.
    i totally 100% agree and know it works form experience, (by the way how do you know me)
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Is he paying...?! (thats a joke guys!)
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Well the whole point of going on a date is so that you can get to know someone, then you decide whether to see them again if you like them.

    I wouldn't go on a date with someone I didn't find attractive because it just wouldn't go anywhere. On judging whether to go on a date I think people do it on looks mostly -judgement on personality comes later.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by feelthesunshine)
    Loz and Bricktops will agree with me on this one: women hate how desperation smells.
    Actually I don't agree... women don't hate desperation in itself, they fear how people will judge them if they're seen to be with someone 'desperate', and assume that if they're with someone 'desperate', they must also be 'desperate' - which, of course, no one would desire to be.

    (Original post by feelthesunshine)
    And Loz18, we should start a coaching programme once you get to Kings... give guys/girls a fair bit of insight then charge for further, more indepth, details... you know, £100 an hour should do it nicely.
    £100/hour is fine by me... I was considering prostitution in order to pay uni of London accomodation costs, so any money-making proposals are welcome here!

    (Original post by feelthesunshine)
    The Loz I'm talking about hasn't even got a hint of a Mersey accent.

    But if she did, it'd be blue.
    What do you mean by that Sunth?

    Lauren x
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    hey i agree with the above - and whilst always helpful I assure you I have never had a problem approaching women. I'm considered pretty good by most peoples standards. Getting numbers/emails etc is also easy.

    My problem is always getting them out on the first date - thereafter it tends to go well too. So back to my original poser,

    What makes women who happily flirt with you and give their number - and usually sleep with you if you get them out on a date, decide against that first drink?

    It bugs me like mad as I can't figure it out, and I'm supposed to be decent looking, pretty funny and laid back (except when it comes to first dates that is lol!)

    Mr J
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    J, it's not a date. It's something wonderful to drink and some stimulating conversation. Though don't phrase it like that, just *think* of it that way.

    Lauren, the person I was replying to - Lozza - knows exactly what I mean. If you don't, get a medical dictionary. Good girl.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by feelthesunshine)
    Lauren, the person I was replying to - Lozza - knows exactly what I mean. If you don't, get a medical dictionary. Good girl.
    Wtf???
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mr J)
    what factors make you decide to go on a date with a guy?
    This is simple. This is also profound.
    Read it again and again.

    ATTRACTION :dancing:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by feelthesunshine)
    This is simple. This is also profound.
    Read it again and again.

    ATTRACTION :dancing:
    I hope you realise that, despite your poseurish confidence (which is beginning to vaguely bore me), that is not profound at all, and the issue is not that simple. Fact is that someone may agree to a date with someone they're attracted to, but never organise it for a multitude of reasons. Attraction's not the final say, just a base on which a relationship can be built. There has to be something else there too.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Ah, here we go. Pandora's box:

    Being attractive to someone is not the same as making them feel attraction.The derivation of the words suggests so, but there's lots you can learn.

    Talking of Pandora, I once knew a girl by that name. Never got to see her box though.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by feelthesunshine)
    Ah, here we go. Pandora's box:

    Being attractive to someone is not the same as making them feel attraction.The derivation of the words suggests so, but there's lots you can learn.

    Talking of Pandora, I once knew a girl by that name. Never got to see her box though.
    :confused: WTF.
    This guy thinks he's a regular Hitch, have to agree with the previous poster.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Of course believing in serendipity is valid - there are blatently elements of opportunity and luck at the points where relationships "click" and you both "know".

    No-one can make someone feel attraction for them like turning on a switch, but they can increase the chances.


    And I do not reference movies. Hitch was a movie made to make money: African-American lead with Hispanic and Large supporting actors. Sure, it touches on a few points, but equally misleads. It is a romantic comedy, nothing more.
 
 
 
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: June 13, 2005
Poll
A-level students - how do you feel about your results?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.