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mikeski
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#21
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#21
lol
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Slice'N'Dice
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#22
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#22
Something funny to think about:

If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless?
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Scubar
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#23
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#23
both, and that is one unlucky turtle
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mikeski
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#24
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#24
both :confused: :confused:
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mikeski
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#25
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#25
why did the chicken cross the road?
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Slice'N'Dice
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#26
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#26
(Original post by mikeski)
why did the chicken cross the road?
The possibilities to this joke are endless.

I'll be boring and go with "to get to the other side"?
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pixie05
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#27
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#27
what do you call a man with paper underwear?




russell

*coffcoff* I liked it...
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Crimson Black
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#28
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#28
Two Irish guys decide one evening to go to on a pub crawl in Dublin. Paddy and Pat count up their money between them, and find they only have 50 cent. Pat takes the money and with it goes to a market and buys a sausauge with it.
"What the hell do you do that for?" says Paddy.
"You'll see..." replies Pat.
So both set off to the first pub they can find. They order two beers, and drink them. Once they've finished them, Pat says: "Right, Paddy, in order not to have to pay for these drinks here, go down on your knees, and I'll put this sausauge through my flies and you suck it". And sure enough, the right reaction follows. The landlord gets seriously angry at this display, and kicks the two Irishmen out - and they didn't pay for their drinks.
Using this successful technique at every pub they get to, drinking, then Paddy sucks the sausauge, they haven't paid a penny towards their drinks, and become more and more drunk. Then Paddy, in a haze of alcohol, calls to Pat: "Hey, Pat, can't we swap round for a second? My knees are beginning to really hurt after sucking that sausauge you bought..."
The answer he gets is: "No way Pat. I lost the sausauge about 6 pubs ago..."

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peppermint_patt
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#29
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#29
(Original post by GengisKahn)
Two Irish guys decide one evening to go to on a pub crawl in Dublin. Paddy and Pat count up their money between them, and find they only have 50 cent. Pat takes the money and with it goes to a market and buys a sausauge with it.
"What the hell do you do that for?" says Paddy.
"You'll see..." replies Pat.
So both set off to the first pub they can find. They order two beers, and drink them. Once they've finished them, Pat says: "Right, Paddy, in order not to have to pay for these drinks here, go down on your knees, and I'll put this sausauge through my flies and you suck it". And sure enough, the right reaction follows. The landlord gets seriously angry at this display, and kicks the two Irishmen out - and they didn't pay for their drinks.
Using this successful technique at every pub they get to, drinking, then Paddy sucks the sausauge, they haven't paid a penny towards their drinks, and become more and more drunk. Then Paddy, in a haze of alcohol, calls to Pat: "Hey, Pat, can't we swap round for a second? My knees are beginning to really hurt after sucking that sausauge you bought..."
The answer he gets is: "No way Pat. I lost the sausauge about 6 pubs ago..."


lol gross!

Did you hear about the cat who joined the red cross?...

...and became a first-aid kit.

what do parisians drink when they're ill?

...parecetamol (paris - etamol)

umm......

why did the owl 'owl? Because the woodpecker behind would peck her behind. :p:

th-th-th-that's all folks!
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jen
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#30
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#30
(Original post by Brutus)
A woman was carring her baby when she was bussy paying the busdriver the transport fee,when the driver saw the baby he yelled ooooohhh!what an ugly baby you have mam.The woman was so angry but mannaged to control her anger.When trying to sit down the man next to her said"mam,let me help you with your monkey"

unlike the driver the man thought it was a monkey

love this one......she giggles.....
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bikerx23
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#31
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#31
I was sitting next to a girl in a psychiatrists office, and we started talking, so i asked her "why are you here anyway?"
she replied, "well, i'm a nymphomaniac, but I only like jewish cowboys. my names julie by the way, whats yours?"
and i said "hey julie, my names bucky goldstein..."
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Lirael Abhorsen
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#32
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#32
lol MattG's one.. i seem to remember stingray off neighbours used that very recently!
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Lirael Abhorsen
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#33
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#33
heres one i heard...

a man walks into a bar, sits down next to a guy who appears to be talking into his finger. so first guy says what are you doing, and the second guy replies "its a new piece of technology, there's a mobile phone in my finger", after a while the second guy goes into the toilet, and hes been gone a while then the first guy also goes in. the second guy is lying on the floor with toilet paper coming out of his behind and casually says "don't worry, i'm receiving a fax"
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