Turn on thread page Beta

Love or lust? watch

    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jessicarabbit)


    *jumps off cliff*

    Hey!! You can't jump off a cliff!

    According the the "Shag, marry, or chuck" thread I've got to push you off ...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by kingslaw)
    Hey!! You can't jump off a cliff!

    According the the "Shag, marry, or chuck" thread I've got to push you off ...
    get on msn you weirdo!

    oh and to answer the thread...kingslaw and I are in a purely lustful relationship...all he does is do me, make me a sandwich, and not talk too much and I'm happy...

    Frankly, thats all I want in a man
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    me and my boyfriend realised we were in love while he was still with someone. which made it extra hard. i do believe in soul mates...because..

    well when we were just friends i invited him round to my house and we went for a walk. we got all huggy by the river in the woods and just couldnt stop hugging. he went really quite for a while so i asked him 'what are you thinking'
    and he said, ' i think im falling in love with you'

    now...IF I HADNT asked that, we wouldnt be together today as hes so faithful and didnt wanna leave his current girlfriend even though they werent working out (arguing every few mins type not working out)

    if i hadnt invited him round, we woulve never fallen in love.....

    thats why i believe we are soul mates

    (i suppose there was a bit of lust there before we got together though)
    • CV Helper
    • Wiki Support Team
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    CV Helper
    Wiki Support Team
    I'm in love, but I'm also in lust too. I think true love is both rolled into one.
    • CV Helper
    • Wiki Support Team
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    CV Helper
    Wiki Support Team
    (Original post by Cazzi_Bear)
    me and my boyfriend realised we were in love while he was still with someone. which made it extra hard. i do believe in soul mates...because..

    well when we were just friends i invited him round to my house and we went for a walk. we got all huggy by the river in the woods and just couldnt stop hugging. he went really quite for a while so i asked him 'what are you thinking'
    and he said, ' i think im falling in love with you'

    now...IF I HADNT asked that, we wouldnt be together today as hes so faithful and didnt wanna leave his current girlfriend even though they werent working out (arguing every few mins type not working out)

    if i hadnt invited him round, we woulve never fallen in love.....

    thats why i believe we are soul mates

    (i suppose there was a bit of lust there before we got together though)
    You believe you're soul mates because he said he loved you when he was with someone else? Why wouldn't you still be with him if he didn't love you? He may be so faithful, but if it wasn't working with her and he didn't end it then he was leading her on.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BlackHawk)
    You believe you're soul mates because he said he loved you when he was with someone else? Why wouldn't you still be with him if he didn't love you? He may be so faithful, but if it wasn't working with her and he didn't end it then he was leading her on.
    they literally ended that day anyway. and he wasnt leading her on, they both didnt wanna accept the fact that they were over, but once they both split up, both said it was silly continuing anyway.

    i believe were soul mates because we found each other when unexpected and difficult times, but still ended up together.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by wizard)
    Can you seperate them...are they seperated....i've been in love 'i think', once - 24 months ago, unfortunately it wasn't reciprocated...you can be in love with someone, but not happen to be in a relationship with them after all....?

    It's odd, i never though it'd happen - it threw me for six - it was 5 weeks into term at uni, fell for the girl, it took me two weeks to courage myself up to ask her out! I'd read all the signals horrificly wrong....it's odd mind....i was sick literally....i was sick one morning because of what it was doing to me....couldn't get her out of my head, literally head-banging the wall....scarily, worringly, just dead set on hearing her voice! :eek:

    Well i asked her out, she said no, but she was cool about it...but i think she was shocked! Well she was....potentially horrified too...but i kind of got jealous....it's a pity, don't see the girl anymore, we never really did socialize together anyway, but had she known the real me, i know it's be pretty good between us - opposites attract without a shadow of a doubt...but weeks after my rejection (well rejection is a harsh word, she was nice about it....she, i had forgotten, did have a love interest of her own...), whenever she spoke to other blokes, laughed around with them, joked with them...i was jealous and i hated it, always putting on loud music on my radio when she was in convo nearby (in my bedroom i was at the time) to block out things! This was because it frustrated me and depressed me....ie." she can laugh with that lot but she can't with me" - it killed me...does anyone else share a similar experience - immense jealousy and frustration, knowing that the girl is so right for you, but sad to know that you know she doesn't know the real you..and if she did, everything would be amazing?

    Any experiences? Apologies for the rant....that has been the only time i was in love, and to be honest, it was painful. :eek:
    Considering she's not your girlfriend and you're jealous, that's really just posessiveness and you need to be careful with that - it can be a really dangerous thing etc, you know?

    Well make friends with her - if you really think she's right for you but merely need to know who you are - be friends with her! You said yourself she took it ok - seek out if a friendship is a possibility, and if it is, see how it goes from there. And btw no the girl may not be completely right for you - if she doesn't know just who you really are yet, then I can't imagine you guys know each other very well so how on earth can you know that "she is so right for you"?

    Be careful, don't plunge into it. And yes there is a difference between love and lust - love is selfless and lust is selfish. Love puts the object of your love first whereas lust is the opposite. Lust is often a lot of physical and less commitment while love is different. The two is in complete opposite ends of the spectrum but yeh it can be hard telling them apart. Attraction isn't necessarily lust - and attraction to one's personality is definitely not lust lol I think!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by wizard)
    Can you seperate them...are they seperated....i've been in love 'i think', once - 24 months ago, unfortunately it wasn't reciprocated...you can be in love with someone, but not happen to be in a relationship with them after all....?
    Okay, three things:

    1: You most definately can be in love with someone who dosent reciprocate it. I have been. It exists, maybe not for everyone, but for me at least, so I know its true. If you have been in love you have been in love. Dont ever let other people tell you otherwise. Its such a personal thing, there is no way anyone can know the truth about wether or not you are/were in love, except one person, and thats you.

    2: I really feel for you, with the whole feeling sick, cant stop thinking about them, kinda thing. I've been there. I've spent hour after hour sitting around in places where I might bump into someone I couldnt get out of my head. That level of obsession can be scary to the person with the obsession, as well as the object of their affections. Its not healthy, but it happens anyway, we all get so fixated on someone that they become quite literally our world. It sounds like you handled it really well, asking her out and not turning into some scary stalker. You kept your obsession harmless to anyone but you...Im sorry that you got hurt by what happened. Again, Ive been there. I cant say you'll get over it because I was in a similar thing and havent yet, two years later, but as you've probably found out, it does more or less stop hurting.
    AS for the jealousy, yes, that hurts so much. Im a pretty jealous person, so I know where you are coming from. When the guy I loved was sitting in a row of seats in front of me, kissing his new girlfriend, I felt my heart breaking. I was digging my nails into my arm without realising, and drew blood without noticing. My painful feelings eclipsed the physical pain with such intensity that it just didnt register. So yeah, ouch, when you love or even fancy someone you want them to be happy, but seeing them be happy with someone other than you can suck. Really really suck.

    3: For my definitions of lust and love and the differences between them, see the attachment (which I hope is working *crosses fingers*. Im not saying Im right, but these are how I see things.
    Attached Files
  1. File Type: doc Love.doc (32.0 KB, 354 views)
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cazzi_Bear)
    me and my boyfriend realised we were in love while he was still with someone. which made it extra hard. i do believe in soul mates...because..

    well when we were just friends i invited him round to my house and we went for a walk. we got all huggy by the river in the woods and just couldnt stop hugging. he went really quite for a while so i asked him 'what are you thinking'
    and he said, ' i think im falling in love with you'

    now...IF I HADNT asked that, we wouldnt be together today as hes so faithful and didnt wanna leave his current girlfriend even though they werent working out (arguing every few mins type not working out)

    if i hadnt invited him round, we woulve never fallen in love.....

    thats why i believe we are soul mates

    (i suppose there was a bit of lust there before we got together though)
    He was faithful enough to fall in love with you while he was still with someone else? If he was faithful I think he would've ended it with her, sorted out his feelings, then came to you and ask you out. You're only faithful to those you love/care about - if he cared about his now-ex-girlfriend he would've told her and not led her on. Leaving someone sounds "unfaithful" but you're really being faithful to that person if you tell them the truth. It shows that you care.

    I suppose it shows he was having communication problems with his now-ex-gf.

    Anyway glad you two got together in the end
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by queenselphie)
    Okay, three things:

    1: You most definately can be in love with someone who dosent reciprocate it. I have been. It exists, maybe not for everyone, but for me at least, so I know its true. If you have been in love you have been in love. Dont ever let other people tell you otherwise. Its such a personal thing, there is no way anyone can know the truth about wether or not you are/were in love, except one person, and thats you.

    2: I really feel for you, with the whole feeling sick, cant stop thinking about them, kinda thing. I've been there. I've spent hour after hour sitting around in places where I might bump into someone I couldnt get out of my head. That level of obsession can be scary to the person with the obsession, as well as the object of their affections. Its not healthy, but it happens anyway, we all get so fixated on someone that they become quite literally our world. It sounds like you handled it really well, asking her out and not turning into some scary stalker. You kept your obsession harmless to anyone but you...Im sorry that you got hurt by what happened. Again, Ive been there. I cant say you'll get over it because I was in a similar thing and havent yet, two years later, but as you've probably found out, it does more or less stop hurting.
    AS for the jealousy, yes, that hurts so much. Im a pretty jealous person, so I know where you are coming from. When the guy I loved was sitting in a row of seats in front of me, kissing his new girlfriend, I felt my heart breaking. I was digging my nails into my arm without realising, and drew blood without noticing. My painful feelings eclipsed the physical pain with such intensity that it just didnt register. So yeah, ouch, when you love or even fancy someone you want them to be happy, but seeing them be happy with someone other than you can suck. Really really suck.

    3: For my definitions of lust and love and the differences between them, see the attachment (which I hope is working *crosses fingers*. Im not saying Im right, but these are how I see things.
    Hey sorry you've hurt so much but perhaps the thing to do is to just let it go.
    Btw obsession is never a good thing - not that I haven't done so myself but because I have, yes I know it's not a good thing!

    And *this* is why you should never ever let your heart go ahead of your head before you know the thing is real, that it can go somewhere. Don't let your heart fall before you are sure - it is possible to restrain your heart cus I've realised I had been doing that recently! - and have recently let it go, let my guard down and damn now I can't stop thinking about where it's leading, if it's leading anywhere! - the weirdness of this is I don't fancy the guy yet.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by irisng)
    He was faithful enough to fall in love with you while he was still with someone else? If he was faithful I think he would've ended it with her, sorted out his feelings, then came to you and ask you out. You're only faithful to those you love/care about - if he cared about his now-ex-girlfriend he would've told her and not led her on. Leaving someone sounds "unfaithful" but you're really being faithful to that person if you tell them the truth. It shows that you care.

    I suppose it shows he was having communication problems with his now-ex-gf.

    Anyway glad you two got together in the end

    hold up there!

    right he was completly faithful to his girlfriend. they split up pretty much the same week as this day happened (dunno if it was before or after)

    and he told her the truth after the say happened too, he told her that they werent working and that he loved me, it does sound harsh, but it was a way for him to realise that u should be in love with someone, he wasnt in love with her.

    nevermind

    its a complely different thread anyway!

    were together now and have been ages, and were both m8s with the ex. alls good!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by irisng)
    Hey sorry you've hurt so much but perhaps the thing to do is to just let it go.
    Btw obsession is never a good thing - not that I haven't done so myself but because I have, yes I know it's not a good thing!

    And *this* is why you should never ever let your heart go ahead of your head before you know the thing is real, that it can go somewhere. Don't let your heart fall before you are sure - it is possible to restrain your heart cus I've realised I had been doing that recently! - and have recently let it go, let my guard down and damn now I can't stop thinking about where it's leading, if it's leading anywhere! - the weirdness of this is I don't fancy the guy yet.

    If you read the attachment you will see I agree with you - Obsession is damaging.

    As for letting the heart control the head - Im a big romantic. I'd rather get totoally in love and totally hurt than hold back. My only rule is that I make sure the only person who gets hurt is me. I dont let anyone else get hurt.

    as for "Just letting go". Ive let go to the stage Im going to. The past two years has all been about letting go. Thats the whole process. Just because something is happening slowly dosent mean it isnt happening at all
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    queenselphie i agree with your attachment, pretty much.
    I think you will *know* when you're in love, and never go asking other people if you are because they do not know how you feel.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by queenselphie)
    If you read the attachment you will see I agree with you - Obsession is damaging.

    As for letting the heart control the head - Im a big romantic. I'd rather get totoally in love and totally hurt than hold back. My only rule is that I make sure the only person who gets hurt is me. I dont let anyone else get hurt.

    as for "Just letting go". Ive let go to the stage Im going to. The past two years has all been about letting go. Thats the whole process. Just because something is happening slowly dosent mean it isnt happening at all
    You would rather get hurt unnecessarily? :confused: Oh no I wouldn't hold back once I'm in it - but go slow. Although at times I do wonder just how do you go slow when you're in it? :confused: But nah I'm the sort who either gives nothing, or I wanna give my all. But tbh since my ex I don't want the feeling of such irrational attachment again. I just don't wanna fall into it again.

    But letting yourself get hurt would hurt those who care about you you should be more careful.

    Glad you've been letting go Yeh it does take time. Personally I don't wanna imagine how long it'd have taken me to get over my ex if I had been with him any longer! - I was with him for a month and it took me 6 months to get over him :eek:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by irisng)
    You would rather get hurt unnecessarily? :confused: Oh no I wouldn't hold back once I'm in it - but go slow. Although at times I do wonder just how do you go slow when you're in it? :confused: But nah I'm the sort who either gives nothing, or I wanna give my all. But tbh since my ex I don't want the feeling of such irrational attachment again. I just don't wanna fall into it again.

    But letting yourself get hurt would hurt those who care about you you should be more careful.

    Glad you've been letting go Yeh it does take time. Personally I don't wanna imagine how long it'd have taken me to get over my ex if I had been with him any longer! - I was with him for a month and it took me 6 months to get over him :eek:

    nah, I dont want to get hurt unnecessarily... that would suggest that I intended to get hurt, or deliberately looked for hurt. I didnt mean that, so sorry if I gave that impression. I just meant that I very much believe my heart is right rather than my head - so when love hurts me, Im happy that I was able to feel love at all, which I wouldnt if I had listened to my head and become over cautious.

    Im not making much sense now, sorry....
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    and romance was dead ehhh.......blimey...i thought i analysed things alot!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    thats why i believe we are soul mates
    *sniff* that's so sweet Cazzi! You've got a really good one there
 
 
 
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: June 13, 2005
The home of Results and Clearing

2,523

people online now

1,567,000

students helped last year
Poll
A-level students - how do you feel about your results?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.