I've met someone on the internet..

It started off as just normal. Hes just a genuine guy who i met on a website called college confidential (its American). Anyway our relationship has come on really well over a period of six months and then he told me he thinks he loves me. I have feelings for him too, but i am not sure how i should respond. :confused:

(He lives in Texas)

Reply 1

Spireite

hmm, what are chances of u meetin? if i were you i'd cool things now, otherwise one or both of you will be hurt in the end. sorry to put it so bluntly but u wana stop anything before u get too emotionally attached, what if u met someone who lives near you? would it be fair on you to dump this other lad b/cos of it? or would it be unfair for you even to go anywhere with another lad who cud be more than a mate?

Reply 2

Jayjayjay

1

Amlea

It started off as just normal. Hes just a genuine guy who i met on a website called college confidential (its American). Anyway our relationship has come on really well over a period of six months and then he told me he thinks he loves me. I have feelings for him too, but i am not sure how i should respond. :confused:

(He lives in Texas)

Say what you feel, honesty is the best way. Just remember to be careful in whatever you decide to to about it - meeting etc.

Reply 3

Ron Stoppable

14

Amlea

he told me ... he loves me

Watch the original Star Wars trilogy. Leia says three little words to Hans Solo. What does he say in response and how does he say it?

Reply 4

Jayjayjay

1

feelthesunshine

Watch the original Star Wars trilogy. Leia says three little words to Hans Solo. What does he say and how does he say it?

A sceptic once queried how so much emotion could be expressed in one word.
Honestly he could well be in love with you and or the idea of a relationship. It depends on how far you are willing to take it, if at all.

Reply 5

Seabiscuit

CAUTION: "Genuine guy could turn out to be fat, old, balding man who likes to groom young girls"

Not trying to put you off or anything but come on now - Texas? What's the point love?

Reply 6

Ron Stoppable

14

Jayjayjay

A sceptic once queried how so much emotion could be expressed in one word.
Honestly he could well be in love with you and or the idea of a relationship. It depends on how far you are willing to take it, if at all.

There's a great article I read on this topic:

What "I love you" doesn't mean

I love you are three little words which are frequently placed together to express a feeling. Nothing more. All too often when people say "I love you", the receiver of the words forgets it means nothing more. "I love you" is thought to mean "I want to spend the rest of my life with you", "Let's get married", and "I love only you" It doesn't. It expresses a feeling.

I love you doesn't mean that you'll be compatible together in a relationship. You could love someone very dearly, but it doesn't mean you're 'right' for one another. You could have very different views on politics/ the way to live life/ where to live/ music, and still love each other. People seem have forgotten that it's possible and more likely to love someone you won't get along with all the time.

It doesn't mean they love only you. It's possible, and very easy, to love quite a few people at once, although none will be in quite the same way. What is it about "I love you" which causes people to think it excludes the possibility of loving others? To find out if they do or not, you need to ask them, not take it for granted.

Of course, some people aren't in touch with the feeling "I love you" expresses either, and yet still say it. Even worse is when one person says it and means it, and the other says it merely to return the compliment. Returning the compliment immediately reduces any respect for the words "I love you", and doesn't leave much space for the feeling of love to grow later. It introduces what is usually the first big lie in the relationship, and what is a joining built on lies? Worthwhile? In this case, I love you doesn't even mean "I love you". Instead it means "You're nice, I don't want to hurt you" (which they are by lying), or "I want to have sex with you, so I'm pretending to love you".

The words "I love you" have long ago become more than the sum of their parts, and this is part of the reason why so many relationships end up on the rocks. People are no longer either saying what they mean, or hearing what is meant. So when next you go to say the three words, remember what "I love you" doesn't mean.

Reply 7

Kit_Kat

A friend of mine had a girlfriend in America (he's 22) and they were going to get married but broke it off twice because they just couldn't stand the distance. I hope it works out for you either way, but I'll tell you from experience - long distance relationships hurt. I'm in one now and it's worth it, he lives about 130 miles away, but it tears my heart out every time he has to leave.

Reply 8

ChocoVet

He 'thinks' he loves you. Hmmmm I might be wrong but I don't think you can love someone until you've met them and spent time with them in real life. I've had feelings for a guy I met over the internet as well, so I think I know how you feel. But that guy and I are miles apart so I ended things - there was no chance of me ever meeting him anyway. In your case, I think it depends on whether there is any chance of you guys meeting each other. I mean, if you are not going to meet anyway, what's the point?

Reply 9

Ron Stoppable

14

Gee Elastigirl, have you been taking lessons off me?

Reply 10

JonnyB

2

I spoke to him as well! He sent me a picture of himself.

Online relationships - they're never the same as ones in person I reckon. And you'll end up missing the person like hell - I missed my ex so incredibly much when we were together and he was only 45min from me!

I dunno - in the end - is it gonna lead anywhere? If not, then don't bother. But in the end I reckon it's whether both of you feel right about it, are willing to pay the sacrifices and whether or not both of you think it's worth it. It's up to you, really.

Reply 12

Amlea

OP

1

Thanks for the advice!

Reply 13

Cazzi

12

i wouldnt go there to be honest. he lives way to far away and theres no proof that he isnt sum pedo.

i mean i admit ive met people off the net before, but this was very local people and with my friends. they were who they said they were, but that dosent mean this guy will be.

as for love? well i dont really think it can develop over the internet, its more of fantasy love.

Reply 14

Amlea

OP

1

He only moved to Texas 7 months ago. You see i didn't really have a lot to do with him whilst he was at school but on the last day before he emigrated he gave me his e mail as he would like to stay in touch. I only really "met" and got to know him on the internet.

Reply 15

Kit_Kat

The thing you've gotta ask yourself is, if anything happened between you two, would you both be able to be satisfied with that relationship and not be tempted to have someone else who's near by?

Reply 16

BlackHawk

17

He says he loves you, yet he's never met you. He doesn't know anything about you and you don't know anything about him. You only know what you let each other know over the internet. Look at it from another perspective. Why can't he find a girlfriend offline? Why does he have to go looking for one and then say he loves her after never meeting her? You say he's genuine, but how do you know.

I've met someone on the internet..

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