hopefully she won&#x27;t think of me as a dick!

Nice.

Now go meet people. Get digits. Have coffee. Be ruthlessly selective. Do it.

You can pay for my advice later.

Reply 4

OP

Hey Miss Jelly, I know, I was umming and aghing about it - but she was playing games and to be honest, I don't want to hurt her feelings, but at the same point in time my time is no less valuable than hers!

Mr J

Reply 5

Lauren18

missjelly

i think the text was rather horrible

Yeah.. I think you might have shot yourself in the foot their hun. If I received that text I'd think 'what an arrogant, presumptious idiot'.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that's what you are (I'm sure you're lovely); but that's what I'd think if you sent me that text.

Why??????? No one advised you to do anything like that! x

Reply 6

Feefifofum

16

OK that text would have put me off, whatever had gone before! Not a good move! :rolleyes:

Reply 7

madjackie

2

i wudnt be impressed if someone called me flakey! Especially if I hadnt texted back for some good reason x

Reply 8

OP

Lauren18

Yeah.. I think you might have shot yourself in the foot their hun. If I received that text I'd think 'what an arrogant, presumptious idiot'.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that's what you are (I'm sure you're lovely); but that's what I'd think if you sent me that text.

Why??????? No one advised you to do anything like that! x

Well she's known me for a while, I've bent over backwards being nice to her - making sure shes comfortable with everything etc. and is got to a point where I've probably been too nice.

I'm no doormat and to be honest, why should I run around after this woman and be at her beck and call whenever, when I'm far from ugly and there are other girls who won't dick me around as much!

Reply 9

The text would be ok, if you were naturally a cocky yet charming person.
Simply the title of this thread shows that you are not.
"Hopefully" is a cry for approval. Don't do it.

Reply 10

Lauren18

Mr J

Well she's known me for a while, I've bent over backwards being nice to her - making sure shes comfortable with everything etc. and is got to a point where I've probably been too nice.

I'm no doormat and to be honest, why should I run around after this woman and be at her beck and call whenever, when I'm far from ugly and there are other girls who won't dick me around as much!

I agree you shouldn't let her walk all over you, but that text was on the wrong side of the line, in my opinion.

Anyway, time will tell what happens, but I wouldn't hold out much hope of any kind of relationship with her.

Reply 11

OP

lol - i'd given up hope in any case Lauren.

Actually, I am naturally cocky, and supposed to have the gift of the gab, shes just dented my cnofidence with her mind games so much that I had to sort it out once and for all.

As I've said, nothing against the girl, her decision - her right to say yes or no - i do object though when the answer is yes and then I get messed about after doing my best to maek things as easy as possible for her.

Reply 12

spoonofdeath

I doubt he thought he'd be getting any off her, that's why he sent the text :P... correct me if I'm wrong.

(Oh and I really wouldn't have sent that text whatever the situation).

Reply 13

What you are "naturally" does not matter one jot.
If Chelsea have a cup final against a non-league side, simply turning up does not win them their prize. They must take the match as a challenge on it's own.

Mr J, if you don't do what you want to you in each match, there's little point in pointing at how you are usually.

Reply 14

to *do in each match...

Reply 15

OP

thing is girls is that I don't want to be nice to her to get her to like me as a friend. I actually find her attractive and thats a totally different thing.

I completely understand why women play the games they do, stalling and playing hard to get is ultimately just a test to see if you're strong enough not to be messed about, a quick process of narrowing down selection.

I don't like it at all if I'm honest, I hate being mean to women and in my opinion if women thought like men it'd be a whole lot easier, but in this case she either deserved it because she was leading me on, or its the response she'll be looking for in terms of ascertaining whether I'd be a push over (which I'm not!!)

Now if it goes pear shaped, then fair enough - but I think sometimes what girls acutally want and they say they want differ!

Mr J

Reply 16

Mr J

I don't want to be nice to her to get her to like me as a friend.

Implying you're would be nice if you just wanted to be friends? That's unhealthy, dude. Do what I do and treat everyone, regardless of superficial qualities, the same :smile:

Reply 17

OP

feelthesunshine - i disagree i'm afraid

its not a conscious decision about the way you treat people, but there is a fundamental difference in the way you comminicate with a girl you fancy and one you don't. This happens on both a subconcious and fully concious level and involves, body language, flirting, well everything to be honest!

Reply 18

Control it then. Learn to manage your feelings.

Reply 19

amie