The Student Room Group

Help please!

I've recently recovered from anorexia. 'Recover' is not however the best word, as I have gone from eating just fruit every day to binging on vast quantities of junk now. When I binge I feel really guilty and make myself sick. Although I'm still slightly underweight, the way I'm going I'm going to end up a big fat heffa. I just want to find a happy medium where food does not control my life.
With the stress of exams, I have been looking to food for comfort, but it just ends up being an added stress and another thing for me to obsess about.
I didn't think I'd ever be able to get over anorexia, but I worked really hard and made myself eat more.
Has anyone got any advice, how can I return to a normal attitude to food, is it even possible?
Any comments appreciated.
xxx
Reply 1
Carry on eating as normal, it is important that you eat. If you get into a routine of eating then after a while, it will hopefully settle down a bit. You say you are underweight, well eating food is what you will need.
Reply 2
Try and enjoy your food. It is not an enemy. Fruit is great and so is junk (shhh). You have done well and people often feel guilty for eating junk food but everything in moderation. Maybe after your exams you will be feeling more relaxed and will hopefully find it easier to control what you eat =0)
Reply 3
-TMG-
...


Don't make comments like that when you obviously don't understand. In fact, mods, can this post be deleted please, because it's really triggering to anyone who is recovering and will make anyone who is bulimic feel worse.

Hun, you've recovered from anorexia but now you're got bulimia. I've had similar problems. You need to limit your intake to about 1800-2000 calories a day, and you need to stop binging. Eat slowly and stop when you feel full. You forced yourself to eat very little, now I know you can force yourself to stop after a certain amount.

Throwing up is really really bad for you. It rots your teeth and makes your face swell up, it eats away at your oesophagus and it causes imbalances in salts. It puts so much strain on your heart that even just making yourself sick once could kill you. Please please try your hardest not to stop. Don't be sick tomorrow. Maybe be sick every other day, then gradually get less and less. You can beat it.
Reply 4
Stop eating junk, eat healthily- a little bit of junk every so often is fine but don't go living on the stuff. Have you had proper treatment?- If so maybe you could see a nutritionist/dietician? If not I guess you just have to be strict with yourself in eating 3 meals a day, not junk. Maybe ask a friend to look out for what you eat?

Sorry I'm not sure how to help really but good luck with everything hun x
Reply 5
I'm afraid I've never been through it so the best I can say is:
Try here for some really well written advice on EDs, eurasianfeline has done an excellent job writing this :biggrin:

Good luck with everything sweetheart, I'm sure you can do it,
skevvybritt x
Reply 6
Hun, I know how you feel because I've been in your shoes. One thing I've found useful is this:

1. When you feel like you want to binge, close your eyes and sit quietly with yourself for 60 seconds. Check with yourself whether you are hungry.

2. Write out your feelings. Are you stressed? Upset? Worried about something? That will hopefully give you an idea about why you want to binge.

3. Make a decision about whether you now want to eat. If you do, do it without guilt. Get all the food you want and lay it out in front of you. Make yourself a feast. Do not feel ashamed of it. Do not try to hide it. You have decided to have a feast, and it's your choice and your right.

4. Eat mindfully. Close your eyes and enjoy every bit of food. Focus on the taste and experience of the food as you are chewing and swallowing. Do it slowly. I don't know how long you've been binging for, but if you have been doing it for a long time (like me), it's very hard to know when your body is full. Just try to stay present and be aware of your body sensations.

5. After your feast, write down how you are feeling and think back on what you've learnt from your mindful eating experience.

Also you sound like you are very scared of gaining weight even though you mentioned you are slightly underweight. It's OK to be scared. It's very hard to let go of the idea of staying underweight (even subconsciously) when you have be obcessed about weight for so long. Maybe you can work on your body image and your compassion for yourself when you've finished your exams?

Best wishes with everything hun :smile:
Reply 7
Thanks everyone for your comments. It such a difficult issue, all advice is apreciated.
I don't know how it all started but hopefully I can make it all away. Some of you guys seem to know where I'm coming from and you must have been through this yourself. This gives me hope that I can too overcome it.
Thanks again,
xxx
Reply 8
Why did my post get deleted?

"You want the truth!? You can't handle the truth!"

*goes off to plant daisies*
Reply 9
-TMG-
Why did my post get deleted?

"You want the truth!? You can't handle the truth!"

*goes off to plant daisies*

Well you said something really harsh along the lines of "if you're throwing up then you havn't recovered from your ED and i have no sympathy for you" And probably more insensitive stuff.
Reply 10
Lozza
Throwing up is really really bad for you. It rots your teeth and makes your face swell up, it eats away at your oesophagus and it causes imbalances in salts. It puts so much strain on your heart that even just making yourself sick once could kill you. Please please try your hardest not to stop. Don't be sick tomorrow.


Oh please don't tell me that :frown: This is off topic but I hope being sick isn't that bad. I used to be sick pretty much every morning for months, because of something unrelated to this.
Reply 11
Xulfer
Oh please don't tell me that :frown: This is off topic but I hope being sick isn't that bad. I used to be sick pretty much every morning for months, because of something unrelated to this.

Making yourself sick is worse than being sick because you're ill
Reply 12
Juno
Making yourself sick is worse than being sick because you're ill


It was/is a psychological problem. I'd wake up in the morning feeling crap, hyperventilating and feeling sick and I'd sometimes go to the toilet and be sick to make myself feel better. Which lasted all of about 30 seconds afterwards. I don't know if it was ever me forcing myself or involuntary, or a bit of both.
Reply 13
My sister has been through anorexia and bulimia. The bulimia lasted a few years and then once she stopped throwing up, she started to abuse laxatives. She took about 20 odd a night after just taking a few the effects wore off and she needed to keep taking more and more for them to work. It has done some damage to her body. She now is seeing a hospitals dietician. He helps her with food, what she eats (because she binges) and how much she eats. She also goes to counselling.
I hope you beat it and get well; the damage it causes to your body is horrible not to mention the effects it has on your emotional state but you can be strong and you can beat it. Just don’t give up hope.
Reply 14
the fact that you've 'recovered' from anorexia is really great, and something to be proud of. and although the term recovery is a bit of a vague one, any kind of progress like the type your talking about is really fantastic and with that kind of will power and achievement, you can have more confidence in getting over other things.

the thing about thinking you'll become a "fat heffa" is probably the normal way to think when you're eating more food than you might have done for a while, but you need to remember that becoming so big that you're obese would depend on either a genetic thing which means it's hard to avoid, or eating literally tonnes and tonnes and tonnes. there's nothing wrong at all with eating lots. if it's junk, i'd assume that because it's not as fresh, nutritious etc as other food (like fruit which u were used to), it might be more of a mental thing which makes it unappealing.

a balanced diet is the key: there's no point in ruling out junkfood because having it every now and then, even every day is absolutely fine. when binge eating, it's almost always inbetween meal times, so it can be important to have a good structure where you eat a decent sized breakfast, a good lunch and dinner; each big enough so that you don't replace post-meal hunger by over-snacking or binging. eating inbetween meals shouldn't be a problem, however. it just depends on what you eat; things like fruit/vegetables (with a dip of something?!), or anything really that isn't too junky and artificial. whatever plan you take, it will probably take a while to get used to or settle into, but from how far you've come already, it really looks like you can get over any other hurdles that come in your way.