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Various things that are making me 'blergh'. watch

    • Thread Starter

    Apologies in advance for the long post. (The important bits right at the bottom, skip to the bottom if you just want the important questions!)

    Situation at the moment:

    Cut a long story short, I had a lot of distractions during my AS year, and split up with ex 1 around exam time.
    During the summer holidays, I met this guy, and we got on really well. It wasn't destined to last, and we split up November ish (ex 2). We said we'd remain good friends... During Dec/Jan, I managed to put him out of my mind during the Jan exam session, but it came back with full force after that, and I spent several nights crying, thinking about ex 2 a *lot*.

    Jump forward to April, I have plans for the easter holidays, including revision, and a trip to the National to see a play, and ex 2 is gonna come with me. Right at the beginning of the easter holidays, he finds himself a new boyfriend. That totally throws me for the entire holidays, I spent the entire holiday in a state of lethargy, unable to concentrate on revision or much else.

    To go back a few weeks, in late March, my grandmother is admitted to hospital, and is eventually diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour. She spends the next 12 weeks after that bed-bound in hospital.
    This totally throws family and plans into complete disarray. My mother is at the hospital from 6-7 in themorning and 4-10 at night, so I'm left at home, to work on my own. I'm not the most motivated person in the world, and I cannot do stuff on my own, I get easily distracted.

    End result, revision and school work goes down the drain.
    During this period, I'm beating myself up mentally because I'm crying half the time, mostly because I'm still blergh over my ex. Its only when I'm specifically reminded of my grandmother that I really feel any major emotion, but little things remind me of ex all the time.

    Fast forward to now. At this point, I should mention a few things: I'm deaf, so I see a specialist teacher for a 'tutorial' every week, mainly chat about things. My mother is also the co-ordinator for all post-16 hearing support in FE colleges (I'm in a secondary school 6th form, so she's not directly involved with me). However...the specialist teacher sees my mum a lot in the course of work etc.
    So, they (not sure who's idea it was to be honest) apply for Special Consideration arrangements in the exams (its only 5% extra marks, like 2/3, so hardly major, but thats not the point)... We (me and teacher) go and see the secretary, who says she'll talk to the head of centre, and sort it out. Fine, I think, reckoning I'll hear from the head/exams office in a few days, and sort out what needs to be done.

    So, I see this teacher the next week (I haven't heard anything back from head/exams office), and she needs the date of death for the exams office. Fine I think, and I say "oh by the way, you need a medical note right?" "yeah, but your mums sorted that".

    I'm like..thinking...just a minute...! It has nothing to do with my mum! Just because you see her a lot at work doesn't mean that you can just go straight to her! (She hadn't mentioned *anything* about the special arrangements to me at home)
    My mum/staff at school know nothing about how I've been affected by ex over the last months, they don't know anything about him.
    I was hoping that the need for me to get a medical cert from doccies would give me the impetus to talk to doctor, and see what can be done about my slide into legarthy/depression over ex as well, and hopefully get words to that effect on the medical note, as I feel that "grandmother died, grandson badly affected" isn't a true representation of whats really happened. (I haven't seen medical note, but I presume it says something to that effect.)

    So yeah, sorry for the long post, but it basically boils down to:

    1) Can teachers etc go 'behind your back' to parents to get medical notes, and can parents get medical notes for you? (I'm 18 by the way, but I only turned 18 on 1st June, but the critical age is 16 isn't it?). I realise they were only trying to help, and I guess, from their point of view, it was the best option, but it wasn't really what I was expecting....

    Whats the best way to deal with all this? I'm not too concerned about the special consideration arrangements, they werent worth that many marks, but I still would have prefferred it done properly.

    2) Whats the best way to sort this out? I really need to go see someone and see what to do, but the other thing is my doctor is also the doctor for the rest of the family (he would have been one that had wrote medical note etc), and the practise I'm at is a small one with only two doctors, the other doctor has also been involved to some extent.
    There is anothjer practise local (a much larger one), but can I just walk in or what?

    Actually... I'm not sure what the point of writing this post was.

    well, for a start, a doctor cant give a medical note without seeing you. So maybe she meant that you mum would sort out an appointment for you?

    As for the confidentiality, i think that whilst your in school the rules are different and they may be able to discuss it with your parents. Its like giving consent for school trips...even when your 18 your rents stil have to sign!

    As for the confidentiality of the doctors. They are not allowed to mention that you have even been. Nor are the reception staff or the other doctors. If you are concerned about your health in any way, be that mental or physical, i would urge you book yourself an apointment with your doctor and go visit him. Technically, you could just walk in and be seen at the alternative practice, but they would require you to registair, and hence get your medical records...and that'll leave you explaining to your mum why your no longer registaired with the doctor should you ever become ill, but whats the point. Its no more confidential with one doctor or practice than the other!

    love Katy***
    • Thread Starter

    1) Thats what I thought about the medical note... I'll have to have 'words' with mum about it... The impression I got was that it'd all been sorted... Hmm.
    2) What confuses matters about the teacher/school telling parents stuff is that technically they aren't part of the school, they're employed by the LEA, but I guess thats the same thing. Ah well.
    3) Yeah... I know that they can't tell anything... Its just blergh. I'm a cynical git, and would prefer a total stranger, if you get me...

    Thanks for the reply tho I'll just have to see whats happening about this medical note, I want to see doctor, and if I can get medical note at same time, I'll be happy.

    Having said all this, I can't find any specific demand for a medical note, for special consideration.
    Would I be correct in saying that, if there has been anything issued by the doctor in relation to me, that the doctor should have seen me first, and under no circumstances should have taken anything from my mum?
    If there has been stuff from the doctor, what would the best course of action be?
    • Thread Starter

    Maybe, but surely that wouldn't be enough for the exam board to award special consideration?
    I'll talk to her anyway.... thanks!
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