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Flirting compulsion?

hi my best mate is dating this really lovely bloke for the past 6 months but it seems as though she can't help flirting with other guys. her boyfriend gives her everything she needs but shes constantly text flirting (some really dirty messages) and has recently met up with this guy for "revision" shes already told me shes messed about with him but says shes happy with her bf. why is she doing this? :confused:

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Reply 1

username18215

Because she is in need of attention.

Reply 2

Monkey_Maiden

but she seems to get enough from her bf, if there anything i could do to stop her acting like this? it seems like a game to her flirting with all these guys even if they have girlfriends

Reply 3

Hana_87

She needs to sort her life out. Seriously, thats not fair.

Reply 4

ModernHippie

Hana_87

She needs to sort her life out. Seriously, thats not fair.

That depends really... How old is your friend? A friend of mine acts the exact same way, been together for a year but flirts with guys when we go out and doesn't tell them she's seeing anyone so they end up disapointed after several days. It's an immature thing to do, but if your friend is like, 23 or summat she needs to be told off.

Reply 5

Lauren18

She'll only learn by losing someone she really cares about, i.e. her boyfriend. People who crave attention/approval will never change; but a kick in the teeth will make them stop and question their actions.

Reply 6

spoonofdeath

Best thing for her is probably to tell her bf about it and get her dumped to be quite honest, there's no other way she's going to stop. If people are going to be nasty like that they deserve what I just suggested and more, you can try talking her out of it, but I doubt it'll work.

Reply 7

ChemistBoy

She's a cheat, she doesn't deserve the happiness she's got.

I love being a moral judge, that's why I watch Trisha.

Reply 8

mousey

She sounds exactly like my best friend. I didn't do anything with mine, and she cheated on her boyfriend, repeatedly. Sad thing was he knew about most of them and didn't do anything to stop it. he didn't dump her or even threaten to. they broke up after two years of her being an awful girlfriend. I think she liked having the security of a boyfriend (especially one who would give her lifts everywhere and buy her expensive things) but also loved flirting and the excitement of cheating. there was no way i could change her attitude, however angry i got. I just came to accept it in the end, to be honest it's not really your problem. xx

Reply 9

Ron Stoppable

So it can happen both ways...

I was hearing all about a husband like this the other week from a good friend (married to him). She's 34 and he's 27, but it's no excuse for his behaviour. The most recent episode was when they were at the same party together and he sneaked into the cab of a 20 year-old girl he'd been flirting with all night. No-one knows exactly what happened but "I was going to the shop to buy fags" simply doesn't cut it, especially at 7am the next morning when he answered the girl's phone...

Grr, ok rant over.

I had a problem with an ex at the start of this year. Hung on to her and was too nice as I couldn't see where I was going to meet the next new person. It's so easy though, as I discovered much later.

Monkey maiden, remind your friend that meeting someone new is a lot easier than holding on this girl who uses him simply to satisfy her financial/attention needs while she gratifies other mens sexual needs.

With my friend, it's hardly that simple. He's never been caught, only implicated, and she's besotted with him. We can only advise and get on with our own lives.

Reply 10

Agrippina

ChemistBoy

I love being a moral judge, that's why I watch Trisha.

Lol, me too! :p:

Monkey Maiden, maybe you should ask your friend how she'd feel if she was on the receiving end of that kind of behaviour?

Reply 11

Monkey_Maiden

thanks for all your advice people :smile:

its just really annoying to watch because i think the bf is starting to suspect something and he does treat her like a princess. its almost like she can't stop it now, like a compulsion :frown:

but i will take your advice peeps :rolleyes:

Reply 12

englishrose

Some people crave attention from many different sources (I am one of them, but would never cheat or intentionally do anything to hurt a boyfriend), but your friend has definitely taken it too far. Talk to your friend - tell her that if she cares about her boyfriend, then she'll be honest with him, because what she's doing is wrong and hurtful, to more people than just her boyfriend.

Reply 13

-TMG-

Tell her that her boyfriend is cheating on her. Even though he isn't just tell her that and see how she reacts. Then she'll know how it feels.

But yeah the only way to really get her to stop is when she loses what she's got. The telling her her bf cheated on her is just a nice trick to play to give her a taste of her own medicine.

Reply 14

embelina

i have a constant need to flirt too but i dont act on it unless theres somthing real there....i just like the attention..and im single so its kinda allowed lol!

Reply 15

magiccarpet

does her bf mind or doesnt he know?

i think mild flirting at eg parties is fine, but anything more, or flirting with intent is wrong.

Reply 16

followmearound

One word.

.. and that word is SLUT.

Reply 17

username23872

She needs a vibrator..

Reply 18

Little Girl Red

ive got a friend who does more than flirt with other people while she's going out with somebody else...she was with her last boyfriend for almost a year and he loved her and was very sweet. problem was she cheated on him at least 7 times and i felt so bad for him. my advice is give her a bit of a talking to - she wont thank you for it, but somebody needs to tell her where shes going wrong.

Reply 19

Matthews2250

Give her a slap and say "OI NO!" and point aggressively whenever she flirts.

I hate it when girls cheat, most painful thing they could do to me, because its the reason my parents are divorced.

Give her a damned good thrashing!!!