The Student Room Group

The ''I'm unhappy at university right now'' Thread

There have been *so* many threads lately in H and R recently about people being unhappy at university and/or hating it and it's really sad. So I thought I would give some advice out that will hopefully help. Can a mod please make this a sticky for the next week or so.

This thread is to let you know that it's OKAY to feel like this.

It's OKAY to

1) Hate your flatmates - everyone has annoying flatmates who make too much noise or make a mess. Usually it gets better with time - epecially in second year when you can move into a house with people of your choice. But if you think it's just getting worse every day then just keep pestering your accommodation people to move rooms.

I noticed a thread with the OP saying they hated eating alone etc. You don't have to!!!! Try and get yourself out of your room and force yourself to go to events and society stuff - this is such a good way to make different sorts of friends. It's so crucial that in the early days you build these foundations with people - don't sit in your room alone from today. In fact- after reading this you should get up and find the nearest person in your halls cluster flat and talk to them/arrange something! Go for it!

2) Hate your course - Seriously - this one is not uncommon at all. Not everyone can just waltz into a course they love. Sometimes people find the course they chose simply does not provide what they had hoped. Ask yourself two crucial questions -

(i) Is it worth investing my loan in my course for the next three/four years even though it is making me unhappy or question myself why I am doing this?

(ii) Shall I take the risk of giving it a few months before making any brash decisions. This is something I think you should consider if you do end up hating your course. You really can't make a decent judgement in the first week or two of university - it really isn't enough time. I would say a month or so would be enough - not too soon but also not too late. Remember that if you want to reapply then you should ideally do it before the January deadline otherwise you will have to make a late UCAS application.



3) Miss friends from home and family - this has been quite a common topic for threads on TSR especially as it's really only the first few weeks or so. But seriously from what I understand it does get better. You just have to stick it out as long as you can - try and avoid making too much contact with people from home every single day and focus on building bridges with people in your halls or course as these are the people that are around you and will be able to help you in hard times.

Try putting photographs in your room of people from home/pets who are important to you and they won't be mentally far away from you. Remember that they are only a phonecall away and I'd say a phonecall is better than a Facebook message any day of the week :yep: But even with Facebook etc. it's easy to keep in touch with your friends and I guess make sure that they are ok.

I'd personally leave it a few weeks before visiting home - if you are one of those people who likes going home frequently. If you get into the habit of going home every weekend you will miss out on things happening at your university and spending quality downtime with people on your course or from halls. Plus you'll disorientate yourself even more by not really having a designated abode - you will be in a no-man's land between home and uni.



4) Withdraw - this is *really* a very last resort in any circumstances. But there is so much stigma attached to leaving your course and university. It's actually not as big a deal as most people would lead you to believe. A lot of intelligent people who drop out actually go on to reapply and find themselves happier elsewhere especially with the time out they have had between universities. If you feel so suffocated and unhappy and are considering doing this - don't panic! It *really* isn't the end of the world at all! Why ?

- because you are 18/19 i.e. YOUNG

- because people believe it or not are human and make mistakes

- because most likely if you are reading this you are incredibly gifted and intelligent and have a bright future whatever happens.

So just smile and understand that sometimes you might feel down at the moment. I know a lot of you must be feeling this way. But things will get better even if you do happen to take the option of leaving university - you can go back whenever and more mature than ever.

You might feel you are getting nowhere but actually by going through with what you are experiencing - you are growing up in ways other people might not do so for some time.

So good luck to all of you reading this and thinking *My god I hate university. What am I going to do* - because it can seem quite a bleak time. If you want some advice from someone who went through number 4) then just PM me :smile:



P.S. Feel free to use this thread as your dumping ground for any negative thoughts about your university experience

Jon

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Thanks for making this. All the threads are becomming a bit much and repetative, as much as I sympathise with people who are having a hard time of it.
Reply 2
timetokill
Thanks for making this. All the threads are becomming a bit much and repetative, as much as I sympathise with people who are having a hard time of it.


I hope someone makes this a sticky as I have seen a lot of the threads - moreso than last year - about problems starting at uni.
Need a bit of advise.
Im really liking uni, and my hallmates are great, but right now I like it better when im alone. Im not usually a loner, and im really sociable. I've been out both nights i've been here and its been great. But right now, while there are a few people i quite like outside, i'd rather just sit here in my room by myself. I know this sounds wierd but its how i'm feeling.
Any advise on why i'm feeling like this/what to do about it?
Reply 4
Does anyone else read these 'I hate uni threads' and think 'I would kill to be at uni right now, in the place of these people'?
Reply 5
Anonymous
Need a bit of advise.
Im really liking uni, and my hallmates are great, but right now I like it better when im alone. Im not usually a loner, and im really sociable. I've been out both nights i've been here and its been great. But right now, while there are a few people i quite like outside, i'd rather just sit here in my room by myself. I know this sounds wierd but its how i'm feeling.
Any advise on why i'm feeling like this/what to do about it?


everyone needs time by their self, its normal
Undiscovery
I hope someone makes this a sticky as I have seen a lot of the threads - moreso than last year - about problems starting at uni.


I was thinking the same, there seems to have been alot more than last year, and the year before that even. I wonder why everyones having such a crummy time this year.

It should be stickied though, not only to manage the amount of threads, but theres some pretty good advice in there :smile:
Reply 7
Anonymous
Need a bit of advise.
Im really liking uni, and my hallmates are great, but right now I like it better when im alone. Im not usually a loner, and im really sociable. I've been out both nights i've been here and its been great. But right now, while there are a few people i quite like outside, i'd rather just sit here in my room by myself. I know this sounds wierd but its how i'm feeling.
Any advise on why i'm feeling like this/what to do about it?


It's not weird at all. You're probably constantly surrounded by people when you go out and especially in freshers week - everything is so intense. It's no wonder you'd want to spend a bit of time alone. Enjoy it :smile: Just don't do it too much to the point you are missing out.
Reply 8
timetokill
It should be stickied though, not only to manage the amount of threads, but theres some pretty good advice in there :smile:


:heart: Thank you :smile:
Meagz
Does anyone else read these 'I hate uni threads' and think 'I would kill to be at uni right now, in the place of these people'?

:yep:


:cry:
Anonymous
Need a bit of advise.
Im really liking uni, and my hallmates are great, but right now I like it better when im alone. Im not usually a loner, and im really sociable. I've been out both nights i've been here and its been great. But right now, while there are a few people i quite like outside, i'd rather just sit here in my room by myself. I know this sounds wierd but its how i'm feeling.
Any advise on why i'm feeling like this/what to do about it?



Uni is pretty full on, especially if you're in halls, for the number of people.

I would just make sure you got some alone time. Explore your new town on your own, visit the shops on your own, have a coffee on your own, or just sit in your room. That's normal and fine. Just don't let it make you a recluse. More than likely, that bit of me time will have you ready and willing to go out with new friends.
Meagz
Does anyone else read these 'I hate uni threads' and think 'I would kill to be at uni right now, in the place of these people'?


I do.

And this thread is good. How long did it take to make?

Your effort needs to be awarded with a :five:
If i had murdered someone i'd have better accomodation than this. Residences aren't helping. Feel trapped. Depressive episode reoccuring basically, I hate uni. I should never have even done my a-levels, now it seems so corrupt and such a bull system. I'd rather drop out than live here and no one seems to understand it when i tell them.
Reply 13
InvoluntarySlacker

And this thread is good. How long did it take to make?

Your effort needs to be awarded with a :five:


Thanks and not too long really. I have a few friends who are a year younger than me who were/are worrying about university as they have just gone and having been through withdrawal from a course it's quite easy to go and on and forever with advice etc lol. Probably too much... haha
Reply 14
Anonymous
I'd rather drop out than live here and no one seems to understand it when i tell them.

Who have you tried to tell so far :dontknow: I can understand people encouraging you to stay as it is early days. But I went through the same thing - friends at my university were acting so over-the-top and 'disappointed' when I said I was leaving it was ridiculous. But it's probably because the people who are telling you to stay like you a lot and don't want to see you make mistakes.
Uni's pretty over-rated. There's nothing in the world as average as 'the University experience' that as much ******** has been written about. I know, some people are having a great time, but most Universities are like boot camps for big babies. There's eight ***** on every corridor and a bunch of metrosexual lookalikes thinking they're avant garde.
LukeatForest
Uni's pretty over-rated. There's nothing in the world as average as 'the University experience' that as much ******** has been written about. I know, some people are having a great time, but most Universities are like boot camps for big babies. There's eight ***** on every corridor and a bunch of metrosexual lookalikes thinking they're avant garde.

I completely share your view.

Kill them all.
Reply 17
Meagz
Does anyone else read these 'I hate uni threads' and think 'I would kill to be at uni right now, in the place of these people'?


A lot of people probably are, but the people making the threads were probably looking forward to uni too. In reality, it's a huge change and you can't imagine how you'll feel when you actually do it for yourself.

What you imagine and what it actually turns out like are quite different.
Reply 18
Grotbag
A lot of people probably are, but the people making the threads were probably looking forward to uni too. In reality, it's a huge change and you can't imagine how you'll feel when you actually do it for yourself.

What you imagine and what it actually turns out like are quite different.


Very true. Plus this is a thread of reassurance as opposed to an actual thread about hating university life.
Reply 19
Undiscovery


So good luck to all of you reading this and thinking *My god I hate university. What am I going to do* - because it can seem quite a bleak time. If you want some advice from someone who went through number 4) then just PM me :smile:



If you don't mind me asking, since you withdrew and you are making this thread persuading people to stay on, do I take it that you think withdrawing was a mistake for you? Did you regret it?? :smile:

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