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    Warning - long post.

    Okay so there's this girl at uni I have really liked for over a year now and we have been fairly good friends (we text each other quite a lot, see each other frequentlyand what have you). I've always really fancied her but found her hard to approach as she was always with her best friend 24/7 and I myself am quite shy.

    This year she broke up with her best friends and has started hanging out with another group of girls who could be the worst influence possible on her. They hardly do any work and party every night. I fear she may fail the year. Since she has started hanging out with them she's been neglecting me - not replying to my texts, not talking to me as much and in general our friendship isn't as good as it used to be. I'm really gutted as I was going to tell her I liked her, but now it's very awkward as we hardly ever talk. What's worse is that her new group of friends have managed to convince her to see this other guy (who's a friend of theirs who fancied her) and with much persuasion (she was initally reluctant) they're seeing each other now -she by her own reckoning also thinks the guy is good looking. I'm really gutted as she's the only one in my uni that I liked, and I feel like I've missed my chance.

    My questions to you are:
    a) Why should I care that she's with a new group of friends? Should I stop being a selfish b*stard, be happy for her and leave her be? Could there be a chance of anything between us even though she seems to have forgotten me now? and;
    b) If it doesn't seem like anything will happen, how can I move on? You've got to understand that I've been obsessed with this girl for over a year - I always thought she was the one for me, and now hearing this news about her seeing this other guy has really devastated me.

    Any advice much appreciated.
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    I predict that one day i'll turn the television on and there will be a breaking news story about a guy having gone around campus with a gun due to jealousy.

    (this is not meant to offend anyone, if it does sorry)
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    I'm really sorry to hear all of that. Obviously you care about her, and that's a perfectly fine thing. The only reason you should stop caring is if it'll do no good for her or do you harm.
    If you think she'll be willing to listen, try and explain to her what you think / feel. If she's not beyond helping, she should understand, especially if you emphasise that you're thinking in her best interests and are worried for her.
    I know it can be hard to move on, especially when you don't really get a certain answer. It might be best to tell her how you feel so that at least you arn't always wondering wether something could really have happened. And when all's said and done, just try to focus on other things - don't waste all your time moping over her.
    Good luck ^_^
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Warning - long post.

    Okay so there's this girl at uni I have really liked for over a year now and we have been fairly good friends (we text each other quite a lot, see each other frequentlyand what have you). I've always really fancied her but found her hard to approach as she was always with her best friend 24/7 and I myself am quite shy.

    This year she broke up with her best friends and has started hanging out with another group of girls who could be the worst influence possible on her. They hardly do any work and party every night. I fear she may fail the year. Since she has started hanging out with them she's been neglecting me - not replying to my texts, not talking to me as much and in general our friendship isn't as good as it used to be. I'm really gutted as I was going to tell her I liked her, but now it's very awkward as we hardly ever talk. What's worse is that her new group of friends have managed to convince her to see this other guy (who's a friend of theirs who fancied her) and with much persuasion (she was initally reluctant) they're seeing each other now -she by her own reckoning also thinks the guy is good looking. I'm really gutted as she's the only one in my uni that I liked, and I feel like I've missed my chance.

    My questions to you are:
    a) Why should I care that she's with a new group of friends? Should I stop being a selfish b*stard, be happy for her and leave her be? Could there be a chance of anything between us even though she seems to have forgotten me now? and;
    b) If it doesn't seem like anything will happen, how can I move on? You've got to understand that I've been obsessed with this girl for over a year - I always thought she was the one for me, and now hearing this news about her seeing this other guy has really devastated me.

    Any advice much appreciated.
    1) You shouldn't. Yes and yes.

    b) Try to forget about her and 'distract' yourself.
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    (Original post by Blobfishy)
    I'm really sorry to hear all of that. Obviously you care about her, and that's a perfectly fine thing. The only reason you should stop caring is if it'll do no good for her or do you harm.
    If you think she'll be willing to listen, try and explain to her what you think / feel. If she's not beyond helping, she should understand, especially if you emphasise that you're thinking in her best interests and are worried for her.
    I know it can be hard to move on, especially when you don't really get a certain answer. It might be best to tell her how you feel so that at least you arn't always wondering wether something could really have happened. And when all's said and done, just try to focus on other things - don't waste all your time moping over her.
    Good luck ^_^
    Thanks so much for your advice. I've a strange feeling things may not be the same between us - at least for a while now as she's with her new group of friends and seeing this guy. If I can, I'll try and talk things over with her and I don't think I have any other choice than to tell her how I feel. I'm not getting my hopes up though. I've been really depressed since I found out about this(last week) and it's just taken over my life. I hope I can get something sorted out like you said

    (Original post by dhokes)
    1) You shouldn't. Yes and yes.

    b) Try to forget about her and 'distract' yourself.
    Thanks for your reply. I don't think things are as simple as that mate, I put everything into even spending a few moments with her together. Last year I gave her allof my notes, I sacrificed my own time to help her out... at times when I was so depressed I wanted to leave the course, she was the only thing that kept me going. So I don't think distracting myself from a girl I had more than a crush on is going to help Is there any other way? I really hope I forget about her with time...
 
 
 
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