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Friend owes me money but won't pay me back because I'm 'more well off'?! watch

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    #1

    A few months ago a friend of mine, let's call him Bob, invited some mutual friends and I out for dinner. He already owed me a few quid, which I was hoping to get back.

    After we'd eaten Bob 'just realised' that he'd forgotten his wallet. I'd already taken out some cash so I couldn't pretend I didn't have the money to lend him. My other friends flat-out refused to lend him money because he owed them all money too:rolleyes: . So I paid for his meal and drinks making it clear that he needed to pay me back soon.

    Over the next few months, every time I've invited him out he's suddenly jumped in and said he was poor or can't afford anything, as if he's making sure that he isn't paying for me. When I ask him for the money he says he doesn't have it and acts REALLY moody with me which makes me feel bad for even asking.

    He recently paid back my other friends, so I spoke to them for advice on how to get the money back. A friend spoke to him on my behalf and told me that Bob is of the opinion that because I am 'loaded' (he is on benefits and is in debt whilst I have a job and come from a more supportive family) he doesn't need to pay me back ... because he needs money to live whereas I will just ... and I quote ... 'spend it on shoes.' :lolwut:

    :rant: Grrr, the only reason I'm more 'well off' than him is because my parents and I work our bums off and come back from work completely exhausted and shattered, whilst he just claim benefits! :mad: Ahem, rant over.

    I'm trying really hard to see this from his point of view, but I cannot understand why he borrowed/took the money from me to begin with if he had no intention of paying me back. I don't think he really respects me or our friendship and I feel really used. Am I totally overreacting here?
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    Oh next time you're at his house just steal it from him. Well it wouldn't actually be stealing I guess. If he can't pay you back he shouldn't have borrowed from you in the first place unless you made it absolutely clear he didn't need to pay it back. I would feel awful if I borrowed enough for a meal and drinks (which appears to be £30 or so in my case) and then couldn't pay it back... I'd rather just not eat. Personal honour, I suppose.
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    Ask him for your money. Tell him you plan on using it to sponsor an African orphan. If he says no, spread the news of his mean-ness.
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    Yeah he is definitely taking you for a ride. He is not your friend, he is an ********.
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    He is not a friend.
    I feel bad enough borrowing from my friends because I hate borrowing money.
    I would just stop hanging around with him, think about it, he won't ever bother you again which is what you deserve.
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    Tell him you need him to repay you, if he starts to get moody, talk to him seriously and demand it back, if he still refuses either kick his ass and take the money or have someone do it for you(i.e hire someone, they're not that expensive and do it without questioning, they easily break his legs, whilst you're elsewhere with an alibi).
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    My housemate is the same. I've threatened to pawn his stuff the second he leaves the house. He now locks his door every time he goes out. Mother ******. It would bother me less if he actually made an effort to get money, but he doesn't, and when he does, he spends it on **** like take away and weed. Pisses me off no end.
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    ask for the money back and when he refuses say he has a week otherwise you will force him to pay you back and your friendship will be over.

    If he doesn't pay you back in a week then either steal the money from him, beat him up until he gives it to you or throw a brick through his window or something like that which will result in him incurring costs far higher than his debts to you.
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    Give me ring, give me half the money and I will forcefully get it back for you.
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    (Original post by mikeyd85)
    My housemate is the same. I've threatened to pawn his stuff the second he leaves the house. He now locks his door every time he goes out. Mother ******. It would bother me less if he actually made an effort to get money, but he doesn't, and when he does, he spends it on **** like take away and weed. Pisses me off no end.
    I like the phrase:

    "Neither a borrower nor a lender be."
    • #2
    #2

    Don't consider it an outstanding debt from a friend.
    Consider it a consulting fee to find out that your "friend" is actually a bit of a d**k.

    Write off both money and the friend.
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    (Original post by giran)
    I like the phrase:

    "Neither a borrower nor a lender be."
    I don't like the phrase "Hello, we're bailiffs coming to take your stuff away because you haven't paid your bills."
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    Sounds like a freeloader who just wants free money and this is coming from a guy who grew up with a family on benefits who wanted to work and helped out in any way they could so they didnt scrounge.

    I.e they are the type who are on benefits as they think they are entitled to it and its unfair if they dont despite no intention of ever working or doing anything useful with their lives.
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    (Original post by mikeyd85)
    I don't like the phrase "Hello, we're bailiffs coming to take your stuff away because you haven't paid your bills."
    :rofl:
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    how much does he owe you??
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Don't consider it an outstanding debt from a friend.
    Consider it a consulting fee to find out that your "friend" is actually a bit of a d**k.

    Write off both money and the friend.
    Why did that need to be anonymous?

    Your 'friend' is a bit of a **** but there's not a lot you can do about it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A few months ago a friend of mine, let's call him Bob, invited some mutual friends and I out for dinner. He already owed me a few quid, which I was hoping to get back.

    After we'd eaten Bob 'just realised' that he'd forgotten his wallet. I'd already taken out some cash so I couldn't pretend I didn't have the money to lend him. My other friends flat-out refused to lend him money because he owed them all money too:rolleyes: . So I paid for his meal and drinks making it clear that he needed to pay me back soon.

    Over the next few months, every time I've invited him out he's suddenly jumped in and said he was poor or can't afford anything, as if he's making sure that he isn't paying for me. When I ask him for the money he says he doesn't have it and acts REALLY moody with me which makes me feel bad for even asking.

    He recently paid back my other friends, so I spoke to them for advice on how to get the money back. A friend spoke to him on my behalf and told me that Bob is of the opinion that because I am 'loaded' (he is on benefits and is in debt whilst I have a job and come from a more supportive family) he doesn't need to pay me back ... because he needs money to live whereas I will just ... and I quote ... 'spend it on shoes.' :lolwut:

    :rant: Grrr, the only reason I'm more 'well off' than him is because my parents and I work our bums off and come back from work completely exhausted and shattered, whilst he just claim benefits! :mad: Ahem, rant over.

    I'm trying really hard to see this from his point of view, but I cannot understand why he borrowed/took the money from me to begin with if he had no intention of paying me back. I don't think he really respects me or our friendship and I feel really used. Am I totally overreacting here?
    Debt is debt. Give him a time by which he must pay you back (I'd say a month or so), then start charging him interest at a reasonable rate (I usually go with 14.9% as it's the rate my credit card charges).

    Friend or not, debt doesn't change whether it's lended by a bank or a person. If he knew he couldn't afford to pay you back (which I'm guessing he would have done if he's on benefits and already in debts both to bank and friends) then he shouldn't have asked you for money in the first place.

    Do you really need the money? If not, why don't you just make a (formal!) agreement for him to pay you back in stages, say 10% of the balance a week, or £5 a week or something. That would at least give him some time to get the rest of the money together but should inconvenience him enough to kick him into action...

    It's obviously up to you what you do, but if you really need the money, you are technically entitled to it (I'm guessing your friends witnessed you lending it to him and saying you needed it back "soon" - that's what he agreed to, that's what the contract says he should stick to)
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    (Original post by Bagration)
    Oh next time you're at his house just steal it from him. Well it wouldn't actually be stealing I guess. If he can't pay you back he shouldn't have borrowed from you in the first place unless you made it absolutely clear he didn't need to pay it back. I would feel awful if I borrowed enough for a meal and drinks (which appears to be £30 or so in my case) and then couldn't pay it back... I'd rather just not eat. Personal honour, I suppose.
    It really wouldn't - defence under s. 2(1)(a) of the Theft Act 1968 as you believed you had a legal right to deprive him of the money (he owed you it).
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    (Original post by andrewkeith5)
    ...
    I agree with this totally. I was in a bad situation with money a few months back and had to lend 30 quid off a mate. I knew I couldn't pay her it back in one installment, so I gave her £10 every week over 3 weeks, then bought her some drinks at the pub A form of interest?
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    (Original post by Muppety_Kid)
    It really wouldn't - defence under s. 2(1)(a) of the Theft Act 1968 as you believed you had a legal right to deprive him of the money (he owed you it).
    :awesome:

    I'm going to remember this.
 
 
 
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