I have a problem and i dont know what to do, so i'm hoping someone here can help me.
Well, i've just started uni and some of my classes involve creative writing. This is something i've always enjoyed doing, but recently i've developed an almost phobic reaction to showing anyone else my work. All i have to do is pass my piece of paper to the person next to me, but there's a massive barrier stopping me from doing it! I start sweating and shaking, then i turn completely white, can't speak, can't concentrate and cry. I don't cry because i'm upset, it seems to be through fear, except i don't even know why i am so scared. I also feel extremely nauseous then sort of split from reality, spending the next few hours feeling like a floating spirit.
The only time these feeling occur is during this particular class and very occassionally when i have to give in essays. As you might have guessed if i can't sort this out it's going to cause massive problems in me passing my modules.
Can anyone help me or does anyone even know what im talking about? What should i do?
Should i bother my doctor, is there even anything they can do?
Thanks for reading
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- Thread Starter
- 09-10-2009 21:49
- Thread Starter
- 09-10-2009 22:40
- 09-10-2009 22:49
Maybe you are scared to open up yourself to others? You sound very nervous, so try to calm down.
Don't worry about showing your work, let people see it. It might make you happy and proud, and you might get interesting opinions. I'm not sure who you actually should talk to though, maybe there's someone at your uni/school you can talk to in confidence?
- 10-10-2009 00:36
(I know you chose to be anonymous, so excuse me for being rude in asking, but if you don't mind, would you tell me what course you're on? I'm just curious really. If it's a hassle, please don't.)
Anyway, is this a problem you find with handing your work to anyone, or just to people you know? I do creative writing and find it hard to let people I know - especailly people I actually know well - read my work becuase of what it will reveal about my thoughts and how my mind works. It seems scary to let other people know so much about me.
However, lots of people won't actually assume things about the author. You can always claim that you just have a good imagination, or were inspired by some film you saw, or a picture or a song.
If you're scared of the errors etc, don't be. Go to some fanfiction sites and look at the really bad spelling, grammar etc. It'll probably boost your ego in that region.
And remember that presumably you're reading their stuff as well, so you're both at an equal disadvantage. They'll think no less of you from what you write, becuase they're probably worried too.
It might be a good idea to try posting stuff online, if you can. It's totally anonymous and can never be pinned to you - it helped me get used to people reading my work and helped take away some of the fear.
While all of these are long-term, minor changes, I understand that your problem is quite severe. The actual physical effects of this could be dealt with by - if you're not adverse to such things - prescribed drugs from a doctor. If you are finding it is hard to deal with and sufficiently stressful, don't worry about 'bothering' a doctor - it is part of their job, since it is a physical problem. Another good thing to do would probably be getting councilling. Your doctor can probably help you get in contact with the right person, or there're sites online that have relevant details.
I really hope you manage to get this sorted. I've been through similar, less extreme scenarios, so I understand what you're talking about.
If it's any help, what someone writes is never worthless, and is nothing to laugh at or sneer at - you should have no fear in showing people your work. Even if it reveals things about yourself, that is nothing to be scared of - it's instead a really great thing to do what lots of people either never get round to or never can. And ultimately, you are there to learn how to do this, so doing it wrong or writing something silly is nothing bad, really.
I hope some of this has made sense. Good luck. Oh, and do remember to talk to people about all this - talking about problems can really help ^_^
- 10-10-2009 01:48
i have this problem with speaking aloud. i started a new job monday, which i quickly left, and i was trying to pitch a sale to one of my co-workers, and my mouth would just not say the words!
- PS Reviewer
- 10-10-2009 02:08
I never show anyone my writing, only one or two people I know very well, and that is very rarely. I would be the same as you if people read it in front of me.
Maybe you could talk to the lecturer and explain how this affects you? Just so he is aware if you have a particularly bad day.
Also, look into your university's counselling service as you may find it helps to talk through exactly why you react like that.