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    Seriously, nearly every single person on this forum who has a question about girl/boy problems, anxieties etc, who is asking for help just needs to be told. Leave your comfort zone, and stop waiting for things to just magically happen. Sometimes they do, but you need to take some inititive.

    When I was 14 I had a tennis coach who used to lecture me about not being confident enough - and I was pretty confident - but he said that I need to literally not care about negative things that people say to be that I haven't deserved to hear. He told me I had to leave my 'comfort zone' more often and to take the setbacks and embrace the positives that come out of it.

    I can tell you now, 3 years on I have been through it. Sure, it was incredibly hard at first, to ask girls out, to attempt to buy alcohol with a fake ID etc. But as I did it more often, I became much, much more confident. Now I can literally walk into a room and talk to anyone and not feel awkward at all. Confidence radiates off you. That's why confident people get the girls/boys and all of the attention.

    Walk into a room, head high, shoulders back, smile at the person you like and talk to them. It's as simple as that.
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    This person speaks da troof.
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    Good advice :yep:
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    Some people on this forum really need to hear that! God its depressing reading the same types of posts again and again
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    I agree wholeheartedly. It's a shame I never adhere to it. I just pussyfoot around, expecting my limerence to be fulfilled by seeing said person. It never is.

    Nice five thousandth post.
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    Visit some gay bars...you'll quickly get back to your comfort zone.
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    Very well said! It's nice to be reminded
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    Step out of it and it expands.
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    I agree. I recently took myself out of my comfort zone and took a huge risk and it paid off.
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    I agree... I'm finally doing what I want to do and I'm really happy about it.
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    (Original post by revisionnightmare)
    Seriously, nearly every single person on this forum who has a question about girl/boy problems, anxieties etc, who is asking for help just needs to be told. Leave your comfort zone, and stop waiting for things to just magically happen. Sometimes they do, but you need to take some inititive.

    When I was 14 I had a tennis coach who used to lecture me about not being confident enough - and I was pretty confident - but he said that I need to literally not care about negative things that people say to be that I haven't deserved to hear. He told me I had to leave my 'comfort zone' more often and to take the setbacks and embrace the positives that come out of it.

    I can tell you now, 3 years on I have been through it. Sure, it was incredibly hard at first, to ask girls out, to attempt to buy alcohol with a fake ID etc. But as I did it more often, I became much, much more confident. Now I can literally walk into a room and talk to anyone and not feel awkward at all. Confidence radiates off you. That's why confident people get the girls/boys and all of the attention.

    Walk into a room, head high, shoulders back, smile at the person you like and talk to them. It's as simple as that.
    Quoted for fecking truth. If only I'd listen to this and act on it.
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    That is the best and worst advice, because it's the truth that people know but people are afraid of doing it - good on you mate!
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    Common knowledge, but nice to be told every once in a while. Along the same theme;

    Do something every day which scares you.
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    (Original post by revisionnightmare)
    Seriously, nearly every single person on this forum who has a question about girl/boy problems, anxieties etc, who is asking for help just needs to be told. Leave your comfort zone, and stop waiting for things to just magically happen. Sometimes they do, but you need to take some inititive.

    When I was 14 I had a tennis coach who used to lecture me about not being confident enough - and I was pretty confident - but he said that I need to literally not care about negative things that people say to be that I haven't deserved to hear. He told me I had to leave my 'comfort zone' more often and to take the setbacks and embrace the positives that come out of it.

    I can tell you now, 3 years on I have been through it. Sure, it was incredibly hard at first, to ask girls out, to attempt to buy alcohol with a fake ID etc. But as I did it more often, I became much, much more confident. Now I can literally walk into a room and talk to anyone and not feel awkward at all. Confidence radiates off you. That's why confident people get the girls/boys and all of the attention.

    Walk into a room, head high, shoulders back, smile at the person you like and talk to them. It's as simple as that.
    That's an odd one
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    Sound advice my friend, shows good social and personal awareness.
    Now to practice what we preach...
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    Good advice, but how do you exactly deal with setbacks in a positive way?

    Using your example..."Asking a girl out, and she says No".
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    That's actually great

    I wish i could be confident with everybody i met though =/
    And even some of my friends =/

    AND i need to stop taking things to heart, and caring about what people think about me
    I care too much it's unhealthy
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    I've known this for a long time and often preach it to others but fail to follow my own guidance. Blah.
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    I just wish I'd act on this
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    (Original post by Fusion)
    That's an odd one
    True, haha. It's from personal experience though. So many people try to get served and stand there looking completely flustered and then obviously get turned away. If you act confident and relaxed, you get served (unless you are obviously too young). In the same way you can have an ID in your hand with the wrong DOB, eg. 10/03/92 yet have it in your hand to give to a doorman at a club before they even ask. The bloke will rarely even look at it.


    If you get turned down by a girl you can look at it positively. For one, you can quite often justify being turned down (ie. I hardly knew her, etc) but then more importantly you actually bothered asking her out. Going out of your comfort zone does not mean 'be stupid' it means going for things that aren't handed to you on a plate. There is still a stage in which you have to think that you don't actually stand a chance of success and then you just don't do it.

    This is written in reference to threads from this forum. If a person is writing a thread about it, and actually spending time on it, quite often they are just looking for reasurance to a question they already know the answer to. It means they have reason to think they stand a chance - most of the time
 
 
 
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