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Boyfriend won't have sex until marriage watch

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    I'm 18 and in an LDR right now, and he's just told me that he's not going to have sex until marriage, because the culture he lived in believes it's wrong etc. He's not particularly religious but he doesn't believe in sex outside marriage. That's fair enough, I don't want to change anyones beliefs or anything, but he also told me that he isn't going to get married until he's finished uni and got comfortable in a job etc. Which could be like, 8 years or something.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not like "gagging for it", I'm a virgin and not going to change that until I'm comfortable and inlove with someone, but I never thought I'd wait until marriage, it just seems like, I don't know, when you've found the right person, why waste time waiting around to get a ring on your finger when life is short and you love them? I do love him but I feel like I'm already sacrificing alot, with being in an LDR and everything, and because of that I go without affection for a very long time until I next see him. I can deal with that, but I don't know, waiting until marriage for a physical relationship with someone just seems like too much for me, especially if that person doesn't even want to get married for a long time too.

    I'm confused, and I just want an outsiders opinion really....any advice? :confused:
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    Get a new boyfriend then, if it's such an issue :yep: You're really young, if your heart's not in it then don't throw away more of your life on a relationship that isn't fulfilling enough for you. Be selfish about it and do what you need to, to make yourself happy, especially if he's your first boyfriend. There are plenty of other people out there.
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    I wouldn't do it. That's a pretty intense place to be at 18; in a sexless, long-distance relationship, with a partner who is clearly looking a very long way into the future. It is a lot to sacrifice, and you really need to decide for yourself whether that's worth it - for me, it definitely wouldn't be.

    It sounds to me like you're not very happy with the situation. Move on, if you think that's what will make you happiest.
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    So, basically for the next 8 years theres a cap on how passionate, intimate and close you can get. Sounds pretty crummy tbh....
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    Stick with him. At least he has principles unlike most of the slappers and man whores nowerdays.
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    Slip him some roofies after putting a **** ring on him.
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    He sounds like me lol :p:
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    you have 2 options darling: .get a new bf. stay with your current bf wait til marriage and gtfo:gthumb:
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    (Original post by adamrules247)
    Stick with him. At least he has principles unlike most of the slappers and man whores nowerdays.
    Since when does wanting sex within a committed relationship make you a principle-less slapper or man whore? It makes you a normal person, practically prudish by student standards where I am.
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    Maybe this is not what you want to hear if you have doubts, but I think it's worth the wait. I would love for a guy to be like that. But if you need reassurance, and you're not sure you want to wait that long, you have to seriously consider not staying. Better tell him now than three years down the line!
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    Your lucky then, i am a virgin and my boyfriend is not even 16 yet (i'm only just 16 in august) but he wants it so badly it is untrue, whilst i do not want it until i am ready he is trying to pressure me into it and it is not fun.
    At least your boyfriend is saying that he wants to make sure he loves you and you are happy before you do something big like that.
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    (Original post by Lolafifi)
    Maybe this is not what you want to hear if you have doubts, but I think it's worth the wait. I would love for a guy to be like that. But if you need reassurance, and you're not sure you want to wait that long, you have to seriously consider not staying. Better tell him now than three years down the line!
    Really? You'd love the lack of physical intimacy? Something that's not going to change for the foreseeable future? :rolleyes:
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    He sounds like an okay guy, but here is the problem: What if, you two do decide to get married, but the sex is awful? Or you find you have nothing in common when it comes to intimate matters?

    I'm not trying to sound cheap or narrow minded, but sex is a very important part of a relationship. I just think it is an unwise decision to make in a long-term relationship.
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    Don't force him, but maybe he will come around. Persoanlly do not see HOW anyone could go without sex for that long and have no desire to do it...especially if they've never done it before. It must be difficult, i couldn't bare not to be close to a partner like that.. For me sex is a big part of a relationship.
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    (Original post by Lolafifi)
    I would love for a guy to be like that.
    It can mean one thing only.
    He has some serious physical problem.

    If for you sex is not important, than by all means stick with him.
    But you cannot fool yourself and think you'll have a good sexual life with one that wants to wait until marriage.
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    Really? You'd love the lack of physical intimacy? Something that's not going to change for the foreseeable future? :rolleyes:
    Strangely enough most of these people have never had a serious relationship, at least, thats the only fathomable explanation I can have for why they would say such pointless things as that.

    Sex is not a purely physical act, there is nothing which will bring you as close or passionate or intimate as sex in a strong and caring relationship. As such completely cutting it out for a rudimentary reason seems strange to me
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    Sounds like a prissy ******, find someone else OP don't give in to him and grow up too fast
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    (Original post by OhNO!)
    Since when does wanting sex within a committed relationship make you a principle-less slapper or man whore? It makes you a normal person, practically prudish by student standards where I am.
    ^ This. I would say the vast majority of people enjoy having a healthy sex life in their relationships, there is somewhere between "No sex until marriage" and "Sex-crazy maniac", just classic TSR behaviour of looking at either end of the spectrum and nothing inbetween :rolleyes:

    As people have said, if you're not happy with it then end it. At least these people have made it clear that if you're not happy with it then end it. Rather than those people who are suggesting you stick with it because that's what they want. It's not about what any of us want, it's about what the OP wants.

    So yes, if you're not happy with the situation, end it; or at the very least discuss with him your feelings and that you don't think you would enjoy the relationship fully without sex.
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    (Original post by adamrules247)
    Stick with him. At least he has principles unlike most of the slappers and man whores nowerdays.
    Coming from someone who probably hasn't had a physical relationship yet(or can't get one) and dubs anyone that has sex before amrriage a slapper or man whore.

    Generalising much, i think you should get off your highhorse before someone knocks you smug arse off.

    Why is everyone who has sex before marriage or more than one partner in their life a slapper or man whore?
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    If you don't want him, I'll have him I thought I was the only person like that, lol.
 
 
 
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