Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    In previous relationships, I've had a tendency to be jealous, but it's not worried me. I've been going out with my girlfriend for a year, and I was really pleased because I was being a lot less possessive and clingy than normal and basically it's been really great and I love her so much.

    However, recently, one of my girlfriend's friends told her that she really liked her. Obviously, the fact that my girlfriend's been really open about it to me shows that she isn't entertaining leaving me. But this has sparked really horrendous jealousy in me. And what's more, it's not limited to this other girl - I'm really jealous of any other girl my girlfriend is with, or talks about, or has a good time with.

    Logically, I know nothing it happening. But as soon as I hear about another girl, I get extremely distressed, and almost convince myself that I'd be better ending the relationship than allow it to go on.

    I think I'm irritating my girlfriend with my clinginess, and I can't stand feeling so sickened with completely unjustified suspicion ALL THE TIME. I completely trust my girlfriend and know she wouldn't hurt me, but my immediate reflex reaction doesn't take this into account. It's really upsetting me and I don't know what to do. Help?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Have you tried talking about it with your girlfriend becuse if she knows the reasons for your behaviour it is very unlikeky that she will leave. Also she can assure you her loyalty towards which you, which may help you to reduce your jealousy.

    tc
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I'm guessing your jealousy issues have little to do with your girlfriend's integrity, but with your own insecurities. Because of that, I'd recommend talking to her, telling her what you've told us, and asking her for some emotional support and leeway. If she fully understands why your behaviour has changed, she will be a lot more understanding, thus reducing the chances of increased arguments + tension between you two. Is there anything that she could do to make you feel a bit better? Decide whether it would be reasonable to ask these things of her, or if it would be unacceptable, and then discuss them with her. Honesty is always the best policy =D x
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    In previous relationships, I've had a tendency to be jealous, but it's not worried me. I've been going out with my girlfriend for a year, and I was really pleased because I was being a lot less possessive and clingy than normal and basically it's been really great and I love her so much.

    However, recently, one of my girlfriend's friends told her that she really liked her. Obviously, the fact that my girlfriend's been really open about it to me shows that she isn't entertaining leaving me. But this has sparked really horrendous jealousy in me. And what's more, it's not limited to this other girl - I'm really jealous of any other girl my girlfriend is with, or talks about, or has a good time with.

    Logically, I know nothing it happening. But as soon as I hear about another girl, I get extremely distressed, and almost convince myself that I'd be better ending the relationship than allow it to go on.

    I think I'm irritating my girlfriend with my clinginess, and I can't stand feeling so sickened with completely unjustified suspicion ALL THE TIME. I completely trust my girlfriend and know she wouldn't hurt me, but my immediate reflex reaction doesn't take this into account. It's really upsetting me and I don't know what to do. Help?

    what :o: so your a lesbian ?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by obessedwithu&rockmusic)
    what :o: so your a lesbian ?
    Well, yes, to clarify, if it needs it, I am a girl in a relationship with another girl. I'm actually bisexual.

    Thanks for the responses so far. I absolutely agree that honesty is how things work, and I have talked to my girlfriend about how I feel. She's very understanding about it, but she similarly has voiced that it's frustrating for her to feel guilty about talking to friends, which she's right about. The sort of thing that would superficially make me feel better would be her literally not spending time with other girls, which is utterly ridiculous and not something I'm going to ask her to do. I'm hoping it's going to blow over but right now it's pretty horrible because I genuinely delude myself that she's going to leave me for somebody else and I should just pre-empt it by ending the relationship. These periods don't last long and I don't ever seriously consider it, but it's pretty distressing.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Statistically speaking, there's a chance of your girlfriend meeting somebody better than you. On the other hand, she's with you; somebody who she feels comfortable and trusts enough to tell these things.

    It's all about perspective. She's getting offers but staying with you, what does that say about your relationship? Enough to curb your jealousy, I hope.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 10, 2009
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.