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Past Sexual Relationships watch

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    putting all testing and stuff aside (though i know it's important) how does everyone else cope with the fact that people have had sex with people before you? i'm a jealous person and i hate it. i can't stop thinking about other girls and what he's done and where he's been and it's getting to be a real problem. it makes me really sad. i don't want to be jealous, as i'm not exactly virginal myself, but i can't stop thinking about the other girls.

    any advice please.
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    Experience = better shag

    can only be a good thing.
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    i'm more interested in people's advice about the emotional side rather than the purely physical, but thanks for the reply.
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    I know how you feel, I can't stand my boyfriend talking about his past experiences!
    Thing is, it's happened. And you can't change it.
    You've just got to remember that he's thinking the same! And remind yourself that he's with YOU now, and that's what's important. You have to concentrate on the good times you and him are having and the fact that you're together, rather than dwelling on what he's done with who.
    To be honest, you'll only overcome the jealousy with a lot of time, the closer you and him get, the more you'll realise that it matters more where he is NOW than where he was.
    Just try not to think about it too much.. I know it's hard, but you can't change it, so try not to let it get in the way of what you have. Plus, if you talk to him about it, I'm sure he'll convince you that you're the only girl he's thinking about!!
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    To be honest, you need to curb your thoughts because as you say, you're no virgin yourself. He maybe feels the same way about you. You really should discuss it with your boyfriend.

    I personally don't allow someones sexual history to get in the way if at all possible, especially at my age when I'm not exactly looking for long-term commitment.
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    i found this very hard to deal with at first, because my boyfriend used to go out with my best friend and so i found it all too easy to imagine them doing things together. this was very hard for me and i still do find it hard sometimes, because i love him and care about him so much.
    what i would advise is: listen to what he says to you, and realise how much he cares about you NOW. there's a reason that he's with you and nobody else. the other thing is that trust me, its much worse in your head than it actually was. i asked my boyf about something i had been thinking once and he told me that the thing in question had only happened once and he hadnt been able to...well you get my drift. anyway seeing as we've done that lots of times and he always has, that shows how silly it was for me to obsess over it.
    my final advice is, tell him that you're feeling a bit insecure, and he will tell you how much he likes/loves you right now. which is the main point, after alll
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    Everyones got a past, and you have really got to keep it as past and not keep bringing it up. If you keep thinking about it, it will tear you up inside (i have been like you in the past). At the end of the day, its like this........I have slept with double figures but thats my past. When I was in a commited relationship for a cuple of years, my boyfriend would get really worked up about who Id been with before and it made him really insecure and always thought I fancied other people/was up to summat. But the truth was that yeh id had sex, and yes of course some of it was really good! But it had no impact on my relationship with him and I never thought about wanting to be with anyone else.

    Having said that, I would get extremly jealous of his past too! Especially of course if I knew he'd had some one really hot! But people do move on and for the sake of your current relationship you really got to try keep the past as just that.

    If he wanted to sleep around or was still into any of the girls he has slept with before, then he wouldnt be with you!
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    And obviously it's nice to be told how much better you are than all the others, even if it isn't true. I'm really good friends with my boyfriend's ex now, we joke about stuff though so it's ok. xx
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    We all have our moments of insanity when it comes to relationships - it's only natural. Whenever I find myself thinking weird, obsessive thoughts, I just remind myself what it's like from my boyfriend's point of view. If I get annoyed about him eating all the cereal, I stop myself and say 'hey, you do it too, you big fat cereal-hogging munter!'. It does the trick.

    It's the same with the jealousy thing. You're both in the same situation - he manages to deal with the fact that you've done the business with other people (who, in his head, all have MUCH bigger willies than his). If you really want the relationship to work, you have to deal with this and not let jealousy get in the way.

    By doing this, you're effectively telling him he doesn't want to be with you. If he hears that too often, he might start to believe it.
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    ask her to join in.
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    Try and remember that he's with you now for a reason. You're obviously better than them, so try and keep that in your head... and good luck
    skevvybritt x
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    I think I know what you mean. I didn't like that someone got to my ex before me :P And I really don't like thinkin about other guys bein inside her. Or her letting them...its strange but I want her to be cellibate if she's not with me.

    Well what I don't want is for her to just give herself to some guy who doesn't deserve her like I think she would do...I'd get back with her if she weren't so manipulative and psychotic. Apart from that she's a nice girl.

    So in answer to your question, yeah I'm not cool with other people having been in the same warm wet and sticky places as me, but I have to deal with it. I spose all you can do is try not to think about it and enjoy it
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    Yeah sorry my post was a bit abrupt and the classic red-blooded male approach.

    Basically all you wanna do is not worry. My last girlfriend had more experience than me and with people I knew, but for some reason I didn't mind I was actually quite interested in some of the stuff they got up to. I always knew my willy was the biggest though.
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    (Original post by toffeeprincess)
    putting all testing and stuff aside (though i know it's important) how does everyone else cope with the fact that people have had sex with people before you? i'm a jealous person and i hate it. i can't stop thinking about other girls and what he's done and where he's been and it's getting to be a real problem. it makes me really sad. i don't want to be jealous, as i'm not exactly virginal myself, but i can't stop thinking about the other girls.

    any advice please.
    hes finished with them, and is with you. simple as.
    If he looks you in the eye and smiles a proper smile during sex, then he wants you, and thats all that matters
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    Get used to it. Sex is good for you
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    (Original post by toffeeprincess)
    putting all testing and stuff aside (though i know it's important) how does everyone else cope with the fact that people have had sex with people before you? i'm a jealous person and i hate it. i can't stop thinking about other girls and what he's done and where he's been and it's getting to be a real problem. it makes me really sad. i don't want to be jealous, as i'm not exactly virginal myself, but i can't stop thinking about the other girls.

    any advice please.
    i used to be the same. but...i dunno. it really doesn't matter. develop an ego and you'll consider all of the ex's to be little better than masturbation. alternatively find someone who's slept with less people than you, then let him have the complex.

    edit: my boyfriend knows three people i've slept with and i don't even know anyone he's pulled. it's best not to know.
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    Same!!! I'm not jealous as such, it's just not a very nice thought. But I can be excused unlike you because I haven't done it before either.
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    It doesn't matter, you cant let the past eat you up inside when there's nothing you can do about it, it's the present and the future you should be thinking about, *that's* what matters!
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    I know what you mean, my before had never had sex before with me, but he had messed around with other girls which does make me sometimes feel a bit odd coz ive never been with anyone else like that! But i do try and not let it get to me!"
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    If he didn't want you he wouldn't be with you, but it's natural to be jealous of what he's had before and how you measure up.

    My current BF is my first, but I'm his 6th and it does feel wierd sometimes especially when I want to try something new and he's like "been there done that and it's rubbish", it can be quite frustrating because he's so much more experienced than me. He also had a period of obsessing over this other girl (perfect in every way or so I thought at the time) and that made me unbearably jealous. He thought about her when we were having sex, he never said when it happened but I'm willing to bet it was our first time. It got to be a real problem and in the end I started trying to look like her, feling I had to compete with her all the time, I dyed my hair brown, out streaks in it, adopted mannerisms etc to try and trick him into thinking he wanted me instead of her.
 
 
 
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