Really not enjoying life atm Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
#1
I know mods might try to put this in the "I'm not enjoying uni sticky, but its more than that, so could it have its own thread please?

I'm writing this partly as I think writing it all down will help me think it through, so sorry if it gets long.

I'm really not happy at the moment. I moved to Cambridge Uni last Sat, and i'm really struggling. At home I had loads of friends and had a really good time, but here I feel I have nothing to do.

So I have got to know quite a few people, its not that i'm too scarred to talk to randomers, its just that I dont feel I have really connected with any, and I don't really have a set group of close friends to ring up and do things with e.g. nights out. Its not that I have difficultly making friends, its that I dont have any real close ones to do things with. So that makes me feel very isolated, and I spend quite a lot of time in my room by myself, just through lack of anything else to do.

You might think I could submerge myself into work, but I have only had one lecture, and dont really have much work to do. I have got one very short thing to write, but I can't seem to motivate myself to do it, which I think is a result of my feelings of isolation.

Also, I didn't think I would but I really miss home. Mostly this girl, we broke up about a month before I came away, but we still were like best friends. We spoke on the phone the other day and it was really good to speak to her. She text me a little while ago saying after we spoke she cried cus she really misses me, which was so sweet, and i replied telling her how I cried quite a bit last night because I miss her, as well as feeling isloated etc. She has a new boyfriend, and did very soon after we broke up, but tbh I think she might miss me more than him, even though there in a LDR. If i was went home, I think we might end up together again.

So this morning was my first lecture. It was in the paper that everyone does badly on, and the one I have very little interest in, but it was awful. I didn't really understand much of it, and thought that if I had to write something about it in the exam, I would be screwed. So I'm feeling slightly out of my league in work wise as well.

This isolation from the people around me, missing home, struggling with the work, difficulty motivating myself and feeling guilty that i'm not making the most of Cambridge/Uni is made worst by my fear to tell anyone, I have hinted it very lightly to my mum, but very much underplayied it so she doesnt really know, and I have only just explain it to that girl i mentioned earlier, in a text, but that too was moderated.

I had been thinking about dropping out, or maybe trying to defer for a year, but I would feel very embarrsed, and I dont think I could because of my Grandad, who is so proud i'm here, and has given me quite a lot of money for rent etc. So I'm stuck in this situation, or just sitting in my room, with nothing to do, hating it, and not knowing how to get out of this situation.

Please help.
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Holamigo
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#2
Report 9 years ago
#2
Just remember you have only been there for a week! You have only just met these new people - you can't expect to be best friends straight away. Give it time.

When being away from home you will always miss it... but most people when they are back at home - it's boring! and you see it for what it is. Your just feeling homesick at the moment and after a few months you will settle a bit. You're kidding yourself with this girl that you broke up with - She's with someone else! If you move back home nothing will probably change - just remember that.
You just have to make the best out of the situation you are in! Don't sit around in your room doing nothing try to get out there and talk to people. I know it's hard but it's only you who can change things for yourself.
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#3
Report 9 years ago
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(Original post by Holamigo)
Just remember you have only been there for a week! You have only just met these new people - you can't expect to be best friends straight away. Give it time.

When being away from home you will always miss it... but most people when they are back at home - it's boring! and you see it for what it is. Your just feeling homesick at the moment and after a few months you will settle a bit. You're kidding yourself with this girl that you broke up with - She's with someone else! If you move back home nothing will probably change - just remember that.
You just have to make the best out of the situation you are in! Don't sit around in your room doing nothing try to get out there and talk to people. I know it's hard but it's only you who can change things for yourself.
Rep at midnight for your sig! If I'm awake...
Dean :yes: :woo:
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Holamigo
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(Original post by ('',))
Rep at midnight for your sig! If I'm awake...
Dean :yes: :woo:
lol a lot of people seem to be a fan! He is gorgeous though!!!! :coma::love::coma:
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Jingers
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#5
Report 9 years ago
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I've been annoyed with life since around 12-13.
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The Entity
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#6
Report 9 years ago
#6
Moved to Cambridge Uni Last Saturday?

LAST SATURDAY FFS! God some people have no patience do they? If it's still the same come November/December then ***** about it. 1 WEEK!!!???


Who expects to have really close mates within a week anyway?

In any form of life not just Uni, a week is nothing to build any close relationships ffs, go back to your life and revisit situations, did you have close friends within a week of year 7?!
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jen-bee
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#7
Report 9 years ago
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Whilst it may feel like everyone around you is forming these close-knit friendship groups, I can assure you they are not. Everyone's pretty scared in Fresher's and want to force these close relationships to happen much quicker than they naturally would. Just phone up a few of the people you randomly know and ask what they are doing tonight and if you could come with. Everyone is so up for meeting new people and be generally socially accomodating in Fresher's, so now is definitely time to meet up with people. Also try joining a few socities that you are interested in, and you can meet people through these.

If you're not a social butterfly the first weeks can be hard. The best thing to do is put yourself out there, maybe a bit out of your comfort zone. Just go up to people and start talking. This will at least get you out of your room and socialising, even if it doesn't lead to life-long friendships.

As for work, if you are finding yourself with a lot of spare time on your hands use this to your advantage and do some extra reading/ prepare for your lectures in advance so that you already have a basic understanding of the topic.

Missing home and the people from home is really common. It definitely gets easier as the term goes on and you get more settled in to uni life. Just keep in contact with people and remember that you can always go visit friends and family on some weekends if you're feeling particularly homesick. I'd try to put this girl out of your mind though. Whilst you may still have a close relationship, she has a new boyfriend now and comparing yourself to him and your relationship to theirs will be frustrating in the long run. Try to look at her as just a friend until she gives you a solid reason that she wants more than that.

Good luck!
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