The Student Room Group

Really need a girl's perspective on this: Is she interested?

I'm a new member, go to uni, live in London. This is my first post.

Anyway, to the topic. We have loads in common - so much so I think it is too good to be true (more then just religion and interests but also belief). Here are the signs. Now I know some of these things may just be her being friendly (that's what I'm trying to find out as the line is blurred). The way she acts could be put down to friendliness, not necessarily her liking me but then some of the reactions/ways she acted has raised suspicion:

Invites me out with her mates to places such as religious events, cinema, shopping (well after our last exam went to local cinema which is in a shopping centre), party, theme park. However, her mates I don't know at all (except 1 who is very close to her and on our course, known each other for 14 years). Whatsmore, she is very good mates with this boy she has known since high school and who is in my main group of mates as well, and is the same religion as us but he does not get invited out to any of these places (except the cinema/shopping thing after our last exam but that was more a relax thing, everywhere else I get invited only). Places like this cinema thing she invited me to once before, I asked if he would invite that boy but I got a very vague reply. She's told me to invite my mates to this theme park thing, but not that boy. One could ask why do I only get invited to these places and a vague reply when I ask about our other mates not getting invited? And sometimes you're not allowed to invite others to parties.

Once when I told her I can be sly, she said: "Why are you being sly for? I'm not sly". I told her I am only sly when I need to be which is true and fair enough, and she said "Thats good then lol". The sign here is that she is concerned that she is like something, and I'm something else hence the why question and the "that's good" statement. This was said after I realised I've got loads in common with her and she probably notices this too.

Us and some mates were talking about when our birthdays are, and I already knew I was two months younger then her, and I told her when my birthday was. She was shocked with her mouth wide open. This age gap even though it doesn't bother me might be a problem as she has strict parents. Why would she be so shocked?

Often approaching me in person and on MSN to say whats up etc.

When I went out with her and her mates, I noticed a change in tone when I was talking to her alone in a department store (her mates where elsewhere).

She showed me a picture of her as a toddler in her purse as she was paying for some item, and showed it to me only when a few others were around. After this she smiled at me with a wink (can't quite remember), turned away and laughed at her best mate. After this she asked some questions about me (the getting to know me bit).

This asking questions has been pretty common since we met - basically trying to find out more about me.

Often says "we" and "us" as if we are a couple, as opposed to where she could say "I". Example: "PEOPLE ARE JEALOUS OF US COS WE LOUD AND CONFIDENT".

Has sprayed perfume on me (not sure this is much of a sign anyway and did it on my mate se don't know).

When it was her best mate's party, she had asked if I was invited which I wasn't. Should of been invited I felt having known her mate from uni. After the party, on MSN, she told me out of will about the party.

Rarely some imitation in behaviour (ie in uni if I say I'm hungry she seems to say the same thing and pulls out a bottled drink > which is a drink not food lol, in a jokey way).

Some tone matching.

Eye contact, smiling (however this common with everyone and natural so I don't know what to think of it really).

Often interested in what I am doing. For example, if my status is set to watching tv and I return and say hi to her (usually cut it short for her), she would say I thought you were watching tv, ask what I was watching, tell me if a program in the same genre is better and what else is on.

Odd compliment here and there , some of which are to do with the impressions I make (ie compliments on my intelligence and comparing my intelligence to her mate, and that I am very confident, and that I should be a writer given my wording skills).

When I told her I was very close mates with a girl, and then we split up, she had raised curiousity about my friendship - ie if I knew the girl from before, basically to me it seemed she may have been worried.

Called me luv once in person and on MSN, which she only says to close mates (ie the mate described above).

She justifies herself like she says she’s a good girl, or goes out of her way to say how she isn’t like something (maybe doesn't matter this I don't know).

She tries to find out information on me. For example, I need to know her second name and even though she doesn’t need to know my second name she will ask for mine. When I mentioned I have a mate of a certain ethnic background, she asks if I have many mates of that ethnic background.

-Perhaps most significant of all, despite her knowing I’m not into clubbing and that I’ve got strict parents (like her), she “asked me out” (dodgy term that) to a club with her and her mates. She said something like “do you want to come clubbing with me?” (I can’t remember if she said “with me” or “with me and my mates”). Basically in my reply I showed little to no enthusiasm. She replied by saying “You should come, experience new things”). That mate I described in my second sentence, who the girl sees as a good mate, hasn’t been invited (or to the theme park, or anywhere).

Has some trust in me - ie I was making a joke about our mate on MSN, and she tells me about how she doesn't like his girlfriend out of the blue.

She has said there is nothing dodgy about us when I told her about my problems with an ex girl mate (the one whom she is curious about) who I now hate.

She makes me laugh and I make her laugh.

I’ve spotted her looking at me while she was a few metres away from me. Basically I turned to look at her, and she was already looking at me, or we turned and looked at each other at the same time.

She seems to side with me and rub it in the face of that close mate of hers whom I’m also mates with. When I told her where I am going on holiday (which got the response “OOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!” by her and all of her mates funny moment that), she told that mate of ours in an excited voice, after that mate was asked by the girl and replied to where he is going and then the girl said where she is going. Basically when she told him where I am going for holidays it seemed to be as if she was rubbing it in his face.

And a few other signs...

Communication is a problem. Her mate whose number I have never comes online and doesn't answer calls or reply to txts, haven't got this girl's number - parent's dont let her give it out to boys, and she is never on MSN and when she is she says hi but I seem to get the silent treatment while she changes her name and pics - apparently she is talking to mates which is why I don't get spoken to. So effectively now that uni is over I have no way of talking to her which sucks, and I can't organise any outings. Instead I have to wait for this party until I can ask her out - which was supposed to be in early June!

The question is - do you lot think she is interested/waiting for a move/likes me? When I say likes me, I don't mean as casual mates as all mates like each other at the very least on a casual level regardless of gender. What would you make she is giving intentional signs and is interested rather then being friendly? That's what I'm struggling with. Also any dating and flirting ideas? (I got a few but I'm all ears :smile: ).
Reply 1
LOL you expect me to read all that? You're probably some troll who copy and pasted that from somewhere else.

And if you wan't to know if she likes you then ASK HER. That's all there is to it.
Reply 2
Wow - short post hehe
From what you have said it would seem that there could possibly be something there, she is interested enough to ask general things about you and do you show an interest too?

If you come from similar backgrounds (parents, etc) then I suppose she knows that you would understand and accept certain allowances she can and can't make, which would possibly make for a good relationship if she really is interested.

I would advise getting to know her better and as already mentioned asking her at the June party if you can,or if not finding another way of contacting her if possible....patience =0)

One query though, why would your being two months younger be a problem to her parents. Two years may be a problem, but two months - why would that be?
You have so many signs to list...from all that evidence, it really does sound like she likes you. But there really really really is only one way to know for sure. Ask her if she would like to go on a date with you sometime. It sounds like you have a fantastic connection and friendship, so even if she says no, you will be able to stay friends, because you get along so well anyway. It really does sound like she is interested though. She's probably wondering just as much wether you like her.
Reply 4
I agree with the 'ASK HER' statement, we really can't tell you!
Reply 5
Hana_87
I agree with the 'ASK HER' statement, we really can't tell you!

:ditto:
Reply 6
look, there reading this, there is a possibilty that she likes you, but DONT OVER-ANALYSE everything that she dus!!! if you start doing that (wich it sounds like you have!), youl start realising wen she dusnt do things, and start to dwell on them...either, flirt really really obviously with her and see how she reacts, or ask her....its the only way
Hana_87
I agree with the 'ASK HER' statement, we really can't tell you!


:dito:
Reply 8
lmao...id guess your both asian or something ._. (correct me if im wrong)
but its the over protective parents, no clubbing, age thing etc :tongue:
Reply 9
I think you are reading WAY too much into her actions. Pretty much every you've said implies little more than she wants to be friends with you, and that she's interested in you (not necessarily as a potential partner).

If you want to be more than that, you're best off asking her out because from what you've said, I don't think she'll make a move on you, at least not in the immediate future.
Reply 10
Haha, seems like you are obsessing over this a little. Like everyone else says they best way to go would to ask, because then you would know for sure either way. Good luck, hope everything goes well :smile:
Slow down. Take it slowly and your answers will become clearer