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Current Issues from the TSR of the future watch

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    15/6/08

    1.1 No new members are being added. They contribute to server load, which must be halted immediately.

    1.2 No more societies are being added. All threads with the word "society", "organisation", "campaign" or "group" are being deleted. They take up valuable bandwidth, or whatever, which is a Bad Thing.

    1.3 Attachments, Private Messages and Reputation are now disabled. Each requires several queries, each of which takes memory, or something.

    1.4 Society and political party icons are disabled. No TSR member may join a political party. This is punishable by death or banning, whichever the member sees as worse.

    1.4b Glorification of offences against the board is outlawed. Those that disobey shall be cast into the burning wilderness for all eternity.

    1.4c "Offences against the board" is a moderator-defined term.

    1.4d Asserting that the rights of moderators under 1.4c are flawed will be construed as a glorification of offences under 1.4b.

    1.5 Guests may not see the following forums:

    General Chat
    Careers
    Health and Relationships
    Technology
    Entertainment
    Academic: UK Diploma Help
    Universities
    About

    1.6 Guests may not view user titles, post counts or avatars, or any more than the first five words of a post. They will be removed from the site after 10 minutes, prompt, by an especially mean and offensive Server Busy message mentioning DazYa masturbating and teenage copulation.

    1.7 Members may no longer have usernames. Usernames are a major cause of a busy server. As of now, all non-moderator posts will share the username of "Billy", who will have no profile. Therefore, all users will have one password, that saves both server load and time. This password will be "password", until someone decides to change it.

    1.7b There will be a charge of £5 for accessing subscriber accounts.

    1.7c All accounts are subscriber accounts.



    16/6/08



    1.8 Posts are restricted to 15 words or less, with the exception of this thread. Words put pressure on the server. A picture, remember, paints a thousand words. Try them instead.

    1.9 Smileys and pictures are banned. Pictures take more space. Anyone found attempting to use one will be given 5 warning points. It's now 2 warning points for a ban, so that's quite a penalty.

    1.9b Reason is outlawed; logic places a strain on the server.

    1.10 The forum will now be referred to as "banaboo". The extra letters in "The Student Room" are just asking for server busy messages. Also, "banaboo" is simply better, referring as it does to "bamboo", a community-orientated plant, and beneficial for The Good of the Board.

    1.11 Members are reminded that General Chat is to be used only by people that use vowels, and that swear to use it entirely for discussion that has at least some academic connection. The "Less than 10,000 posts thread" has been moved to Bad Threads, as has the "more than 10,000 posts thread", and the "exactly 10,000 posts thread", which admittedly proved rather unpopular.

    1.12 Whoever Pete2008 is, it's not funny. He's getting banned as soon as we find out how he's getting around (1) the IP ban system, and (2) rule 1.7.

    1.12b He and all others shall be deleted for uttering the name of the Almighty d.

    1.13 The new Harry Potter subforums are now open; one for each of the 11 books in the series.

    1.14 Users are reminded that sarcasm is now a subscriber-only privilege. Like, duh.

    1.15 Flirting is now a sub privilege. These are the only subscriber perks left.

    1.16 "Donate" buttons have now been added to every post. These will be clearly marked, and donation will be encouraged For The Good of the Board.

    1.17 The following users will be exempt from server busy messages forever:

    A
    C
    m

    1.18 The following members have become moderators:

    Billy

    1.19 All members are equal. Have fun, but remember that we are considerably more equal than you.

    1.20 Rules 1.1-1.20 are variable, based on user popularity.


    More issues will be added as they arise.
    Congratulations to Juueru_Mir on his 80,000th post!

    C
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    :rofl: :congrats: Very Orwellian prediction there, and I can see a lot of it coming true alot sooner than 2008...

    I wonder who will become the evil and mysterious C...
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    lool
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    :eek: NooOO if im still in tsr then which i defo will be that will be evil..
    unless im C which wud be amazing muhahhahha
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by HearTheThunder)
    :rofl: :congrats: Very Orwellian prediction there, and I can see a lot of it coming true alot sooner than 2008...

    I wonder who will become the evil and mysterious C...
    He will rise from nowhere, and lead us all into the darkness...

    or something.
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    wouldn't a high-tech Banaboo revolution against the mysterious C be great...
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    and C-Spies everywhere who ban you for saying something that may imply anti-leaderisms
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    it's all too much...
    *head explodes*
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    anti-leaderisms
    *checks dictionary*

    the word is facists i believe :p:
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    (Original post by GiBB*)
    *checks dictionary*

    the word is facists i believe :p:
    hey it's newspeak get with the times
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by HearTheThunder)
    hey it's newspeak get with the times
    HearTheThunder doubleplusgood duckspeaker. GiBB* unbellyfeel Newspeak.
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    :eek:
    *hangs head in shame*

    the new--sp--ea--k .....n-ew-spe-a--k
    *cant do it*
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    HearTheThunder doubleplusgood duckspeaker. GiBB* unbellyfeel Newspeak.
    :eek: WTF
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    (Original post by 2 + 2 = 5)
    HearTheThunder doubleplusgood duckspeaker. GiBB* unbellyfeel Newspeak.
    Gibb belief doubleplusungood. Terminate.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by HearTheThunder)
    Gibb belief doubleplusungood. Terminate.
    GiBB* is unperson.
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    (Original post by 2 + 2 = 5)
    GiBB* is unperson.
    whos GiBB* ??
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    GiBB is the unperson whos doubleplussongood the omigatriogogsend...remember come on get with it HTT
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    HTT to inform The Party. Praise BB. (Or CC)
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by HearTheThunder)
    whos GiBB* ??
    Say what? "Gibb"?
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    I don't know.... hmmm, ah well, onto the victory gin
 
 
 
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