ok this is going to sound very weird but please dont get to freaked out.
I am a 16 year old bisexual girl. I think I have a serious problem and I dont no what it is, I get seriously obsessed with people that I have hardly any relation to nore contact, it gets so bad to the extent where I cant get the person out of my head, I full into deep depression and even get thoughts of suiside.This has only happened once so far but I am affraid that its happening again.
The first time it happened it was with my neighbour, I became obsessed with her I wanted to be with her in a relationship or even just a freind so I could be a part of her life, even though I new it would never happen. She took over my thoughts I couldnt stop thinking about her, from the minute I woke up she was the first thing I thought of, then all day she is the only thing I could think about, just anything about her & her life, i was completelty and utterly obsessed, then she was the last thing on my mind when i went asleep, then I would dream about her all night. I stopped wanting to go out with my freinds because I become axious about being around people I didnt no very well becasue i felt presured to be happy and social when all i really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry, i was deeply troubled. when I did go out which became very rare I looked forward to going home so i could look out of my bedroom window to see if i could stop her in the garden, because my beedroom backed onto the backgarden. It got to the point when i fell madly in love with her or atleast it felt like it. I turnt to drink and smoking to ease the pain, i was steeling my mums drink, or getting older boys to buy me it. I even started to feel suicidl because the whole thing completely took over my life. i talked to her occasionly but not alot, but when i did i would have like a panic atack. There was this one time when she knoked in my door because she wanted to borrow my phone or something and I went bright red, my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest and my hands where shakeing like mad! she must of noticed but she didnt say nothing, for the rest of the day i was worring about what she must have thought. I must have cryed for atleast 2 hours every day sometimes all in one go, sometimes spread out, and at night time I would lay there thinking about her laying in bed with her boyfreind and it made me angry and upset
since i started collage in september i have got alot better, probley because i was hardly at home so i couldnt look at her, and i was pre ocupied by meting new people and my lessons etc. Even though i was sceared at the thought of pretending to be happy, but it turned out i didnt have to in the end. i think im over her now, but thats thanks to college happening at the right time, i was so close to the edge if it didnt happen in time im not sure where i would be today.
now this is the problem, i think its happening again with another girl in my collage. im starting to think about her all the time, im obsessing over checking her facebook to see what shes doing and trying to find out whether she is a bisexual too (because there is certain things that make me think she is) even though she is in a relationship with a boy at the moment. when i see her i start to panic like i did with my neighbour. All these familiar feelings are really scearing me, im petrefied that the cycle is going to start again. I cant propley explain the extent of it, im crap at writing..I need some answers...someone help?
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I get obsessed with people, badly, whats wrong with me? HELP! watch
- Thread Starter
- 11-10-2009 16:17
- 11-10-2009 16:23
bloody good troll lol
- 14-10-2009 20:10
lol thas great but not helpingg!
- 11-04-2010 18:03
Hi, a very similar thing is happening to me at the moment. It's something that has haunted me my whole life. Unfortunately from previous experience, this thing never goes away. I would be happy to chat with you if you send me a pm. But i totally get everything you have said. It did drive me to suicide at one point in my life. I am experiencing the same problem now with somebody..well not just somebody.. my partners mum. Bad childhood experiences is what i have allways put this down to but there comes a time when i do ask myself if it's just more than a need to be looked after by somebody as i'm 24 now. I went through the whole being gay thing and dismissed it. For me, after living with this people obsession for over 10 years i am now trying to find some kind of help on here when i know i should go and speak to a proffesional. I just can't. I would be happy to chat more about this with you as you will probably know yourself that finding people who are also going through this is really a surprise to hear when you feel so alone all the time.