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Can I apply to a Uni without my parents finding out? watch

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    My parents want me to be happy wherever I go.

    Although they are not happy that my sister will start uni berfore I finish and she will probably have to pay top-up fees.
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    Do it musical_gal do it! apply to 6 then cross your fingers and pray Cardiff doesn't make u an offer...you could secretly contact Cardiff after u send off your application asking them to cancel your applications there - they wouldn't be ab;e to tell your parents as it's your life.
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    Cardiff is very generous in offering halls places to people who live within the city...so even if you do get in to Cardiff you will still have the opportunity to live away from home at least for your first year (if you then decide to move back home or into a shared house with friends then you will at least be in the position of knowing what you are trading off).

    Apply to 6 uni's - it will cost you a bit more (£15 not £5) but it's well worth it to keep your options open. Don't lie to your parents either...it's just not worth it in the end - they might be intimidating but if you lie and they find out you will be in a much worse situation than if you are honest about wanting to follow your own heart and live your life for yourself and not for them.

    Student loans are the most reasonable debt you will ever be offered - it's worth taking them out even if you don't think you will need them.
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    (Original post by a_musical_gal)
    you have never met my parents - let's just say all the boys in my school are teriffied of coming anywhere near them.
    !!
    Lol real fire breathing welsh dragons or what? :eek: Hey , how about this for an idea musical gal- if you really are scared of your parents reactionn if you tell them Cardiff would not be your first choice, why not approach some teacher at school and explain to them how you feel you are being pressurized into this by your parents fear of debt? And ,methinks, there is more to this than they admit, perhaps overprotectivness and also trying to hang onto an only child and not face the fact that youre growing up.Be brave Musical Gal!
    Do not put off till post ASs what can be said 2day!
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    firslty, you will be an adult by the time you go to uni. It is your decision. It's not fair that your parents want to run you life for you. I think i remember you saying that you've got a set time to be in. If so are they going to relax these rules when you're at uni. How will they feel with you coming home at 3 in the morning in a drunken stupor and how will you feel if you miss out on having a full social life when you are at uni. These are all things you have to ask yourself. If you don't want to go to cardif uni then the likelyhood is that you will be miserable and if you are misserable there its possible that you will resent your parents for ever, thus driving a massive wedge between you. Also what will happen when you leave uni. Who will you live with?, the likelyhood is that people that have been living in student houses will want to carry on living with their old flatmates etc. If you stay at home after uni and then while you get your first job etc, it could be a never ending cycle.

    I don't know why some parents feel the need to be so interfering about their kids uni courses. one of my friends parents have disowned him because he didn't apply for cambridge. As a result hes spending christmas here in hall. I can't image disowning a child just because they wanted to go to a different uni. its horrible
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    (Original post by emom100)
    firslty, you will be an adult by the time you go to uni. It is your decision. It's not fair that your parents want to run you life for you. I think i remember you saying that you've got a set time to be in. If so are they going to relax these rules when you're at uni. How will they feel with you coming home at 3 in the morning in a drunken stupor and how will you feel if you miss out on having a full social life when you are at uni. These are all things you have to ask yourself. If you don't want to go to cardif uni then the likelyhood is that you will be miserable and if you are misserable there its possible that you will resent your parents for ever, thus driving a massive wedge between you. Also what will happen when you leave uni. Who will you live with?, the likelyhood is that people that have been living in student houses will want to carry on living with their old flatmates etc. If you stay at home after uni and then while you get your first job etc, it could be a never ending cycle.

    I don't know why some parents feel the need to be so interfering about their kids uni courses. one of my friends parents have disowned him because he didn't apply for cambridge. As a result hes spending christmas here in hall. I can't image disowning a child just because they wanted to go to a different uni. its horrible

    I'm not saying I'm not apply for Cardiff. Cardiff is a wonderful uni and I would love the opertunity to be education is the country I was brought up and love....

    However, saying this. My dad wasn't very happy when I started work in August at Showcase Cinemas, but he is very laid back, he only cares that I actually get to Uni, the rest is up to my mother.

    My mother on the other hand is a controlling freak when it comes to my studies. It took 5 teachers and the head master to explain to her that me not taking Music for GCSE would affect me much when it came to AS! (no joke!).

    As I don't drink and don't plan to, coming home a 3am drunk (and possibly with a boy) is not going to happen.

    I want my mother to understand - I am me not her. Just because she f*cked up her life by marrying my dad at 17 (yes 17!) and dropping out of college, doesn't mean I will.

    I will talk to my mother (when she returns from her week long course in Bristol) but I doubt she will be any easier to talk to because appartly we are a so much debt, the bank manager want to meet with my mother and 3 of her cards are not being accepted right now!
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    well i hope you get the situation sorted out soon. Good luck

    What if you offer to fund yourself entirely. You should get the full loan of £4000 if your parents arn't earning much and with a summer job, if it came down to it you could survive. I know its a really hard situation for you to be in but you've got to make choices for your youself cos your mum can't relive her life through you... it's not fair on you. You can't necesarily be the person that she wants you to be, you are yourself. Even if you do end up staying at home i'm sure you'll still have a fab time at uni but its got to be what you want.
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    I just had this talk with my mum. All she said was that it was my choice and when I got into money problems she wouldn't be there to help me out.. and she said she would waiting to see me fail without her and Dad looking after me!
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    So people what do you reckon??

    I want to go to a decent uni but I want it to be my choice. To hell to my mum and her "stay at home policy" but where would I stay when Uni's Hall of Res chucks me out for Christmas or Interviews.

    I going to send for a few prospectus of possible universities which I like the look of to show my mother I'm serious about this..in the meantime I have a Business Exam to pass!
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    Many unis have halls which dont kick you out in the holidays.
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    (Original post by viviki)
    Many unis have halls which dont kick you out in the holidays.
    Especially if you decide to go self-catering, most places will let you stay over the holidays. It always amazes me that parents can try and stop their children going to the university where they want to, chances are you'd only be miserable and drop out if you went there. I'm very glad I didn't have to persuade my parents, it would've been hell, you have all my sympathy.
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    (Original post by viviki)
    Many unis have halls which dont kick you out in the holidays.
    Seriously! so its worth phone the uni or looking at their website then.
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    yep I've stayed in 3 sets of halls none of which kicked you out. It tends to be the cheaper ones which dont kick you out because they are too crappy to let out for conferences in the holidays which suits me. When I went to uni I stayed for 2 summers and all other holidays with my friends and one of the summers was in uni halls.

    give them a ring or email them to check its worth doing.
    Where are you thinking of applying?
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    Cardiff is one and I was considering Sussex but I don't know if it is a little too far from home for my liking.
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    u have to go where you wish, don't let anyone decide for you.
    On the possibility u'r parents won't let u back for hols etc - you just chose to stay in a hall of residence that lets u stay for a eg- 38 wk as opposed to an 33 wk etc.
    Also you can fund yourself and a loan will be given to you dependin on ur parents or yours (should u chose 2 fund urself) annual income. The less u earn - the bigger they give u.
    Also you don't have to pay it back until u are earin a certain amount- so u won't be much worse off than all the other broke students!
    PS) won't u be applyin online? I assume ur parents are always watchin u on ur pc - so u can apply where u like on ucas online site.
    Also uni don't have the right to give out ur info to anyone - unless u give permission - even to your teachers or parents!

    Hope this helps
    luv Alicia
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    Right say now Mr. Blair doesn't get his top-up fees

    what would be average living cost of Uni be per year (without going home at all)?
    how other than a job would I been able to finance this?
    how much of a loan per year could I get?

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    (Original post by a_musical_gal)

    What I want to know is if I apply to say Cardiff (for my parents sake), then places like Exeter (yes I'm considering it, Ollie, Katy and everyone else there) would my parents be able to do anything to stop me?
    That did give me a laugh. You are considering applying to a university because two forum moderators go their? I would think long and hard.
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    (Original post by a_musical_gal)
    Right say now Mr. Blair doesn't get his top-up fees

    what would be average living cost of Uni be per year (without going home at all)?
    how other than a job would I been able to finance this?
    how much of a loan per year could I get?


    i worked it out that im paying roughly £10,000 a year.

    you could probably get £4000 loan plus your fees payed.

    you could look for grants and awards that can be got....i had a £250 educational award over christmas from the council.

    but if you can work your backside off between now and then- saving 3/4 of your pay..you should be able to live fine off the monye.

    love Katy ***
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    (Original post by viviki)
    seeing as there arent 6 unis in Wales

    why do people always do that? because you dont know about them doesnt mean theyre not there.

    there are 4 uni's in cardiff alone

    adding swansea's two...that makes your 6... then theres aber, lampeter, newport, camarthen, bangor, glamorgan, north wales...

    (Original post by viviki)
    I dont know if Aberystwyth does a full music degree, it does some modules but its crap for music so dont think of that. Bangor isnt too bad my friend used to have a lot to do with their music dept when she was at uni.
    do you know how far aber and bangor are away from ponty? she'd b closer going to susex than bangor...and aber is over twice as far as exeter.

    love Katy ***

    I remember you said that if you didn't get into Cardiff your parents want you to retake a-levels and reapply, or something. Well, I thought I'd just point out that that would probably mean you have to pay the top up fees, which would get you into far more debt than if you went to another uni the year before and moved out.
 
 
 
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