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Any other non-christians going out with christians? watch

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    Im finding it all a bit hard to take in. My bf of 3 months, has always been a christian. However it wasnt strict, like he would drink and agreed with sex before marriage etc etc. He went away for the weekend to church camp with the church and hes come back a fully fledged christian, with all the rules that go with it. He always thought most of the rules were stupid now he agrees with them all, he's been brainwashed.

    I have nothing against christians and their way of life. I respect his views, I dont agree but I respect them. Im just finding it hard to adjust to him not wanting to be intimate with me. It's not even just sex, it's everything sexual is a no go too, and i love him so much but I need to know how to adjust. I also find it annoying that he doesnt seem to appriciate that i accept it. My other non christian friend is going out with a christian who went to the same camp and he really cant accept that his gf has changed and he left her. I feel like he should appriciate it.

    Is there anyone else in this type of relationship...how do you see past the fact there is no intimacy?
    I dont only care about sex in relationships, but I think a degree of intimacy is needed.
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    there's no brainwashing, it's logic, he sees logic in his beliefs
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    They werent his beliefs before it, he thought most of the rules were silly now comes back and believes them all.
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    (Original post by Diaz89)
    there's no brainwashing, it's logic, he sees logic in his beliefs
    Lmfao. Nonsense.

    He goes away for a WEEKEND and comes back with a completely new set of beliefs? That's brainwashing, and to be quite honest, I'd be willing to be the beliefs he had before this weekend were indoctrinated into him too.

    OP, if I was in your situation, I would honestly leave the relationship. I would not want to spend my life with such a gullible, weak-minded and easily manipulated person.
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    Maybe it'll pass? If he changed his entire beliefs in one weekend I don't reckon they could be that strong! Just.. wear sexier clothes or something.. :p:
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    (Original post by Phugoid)
    Lmfao. Nonsense.

    He goes away for a WEEKEND and comes back with a completely new set of beliefs? That's brainwashing, and to be quite honest, I'd be willing to be the beliefs he had before this weekend were indoctrinated into him too.

    OP, if I was in your situation, I would honestly leave the relationship. I would not want to spend my life with such a gullible, weak-minded and easily manipulated person.
    Not necessarily he was already a committed Christian but a typical pick and choose one, he probably needed some self assurance in his belief or a reminder of some sorts. I don't know how brainwashing actually works, the human brain is too complicated for that, you must see some logic behind what's being fed to you for it to register?
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    (Original post by Phugoid)
    Lmfao. Nonsense.

    He goes away for a WEEKEND and comes back with a completely new set of beliefs? That's brainwashing, and to be quite honest, I'd be willing to be the beliefs he had before this weekend were indoctrinated into him too.
    You mean like Archbishop Dawkins' aithiest camp.
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    (Original post by adamrules247)
    You mean like Archbishop Dawkins' aithiest camp.
    1. It isn't an atheist camp (or aithiest, for that matter), it simply isn't religious, like a lot of camps are.

    2. The Richard Dawkins Foundation helped to subsidise the camp. He isn't personally involved.

    3. The point is that this Christian camp were teaching one belief system to the exclusion of all others, which is not the point of Camp Quest. The point of Camp Quest is to encourage critical thinking which should be encouraged in relation to all sorts of issues, like the media and politics – not just religion.

    And I'm done.
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    ok 1st its not brain washing
    2nd he hasnt changed his beliefs he has just strengthend them!!

    most importantly have u actually sat down and talked to him about it or how u feel??

    being a christian shouldnt stop his intimacy with u just because he isnt having sex with u doesnt meen you cannot be intermate in your relationship.
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    (Original post by Diaz89)
    Not necessarily he was already a committed Christian but a typical pick and choose one, he probably needed some self assurance in his belief or a reminder of some sorts. I don't know how brainwashing actually works, the human brain is too complicated for that, you must see some logic behind what's being fed to you for it to register?
    contradiction much? You can't claim you don't know how it works then state why it doesn't :facepalm:

    OP - Sit him down and talk to him. If he doesn't see sense soonish, you should probably move out of the relationship. If he carries on, it'll come to the point where one day he will realise that he can't go out with a non-christian because it goes agains this beliefs, then he'll dump you and you'll feel like **** for trying to make it work anyway.
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    maybe hes seen the light lol.... i think you can still have a gd relationship with him..maybe the no sex thing will lave you a little frustrated but he'll still be the same person
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    (Original post by missimpossible)
    1. It isn't an atheist camp (or aithiest, for that matter), it simply isn't religious, like a lot of camps are.

    2. The Richard Dawkins Foundation helped to subsidise the camp. He isn't personally involved.

    3. The point is that this Christian camp were teaching one belief system to the exclusion of all others, which is not the point of Camp Quest. The point of Camp Quest is to encourage critical thinking which should be encouraged in relation to all sorts of issues, like the media and politics – not just religion.

    And I'm done.
    1. Then why does it challenge you to find the unicorns, they are a metephore for God.
    2. So you admit an athiest organiasation is involved.
    3. How do you know it is only teaching those views, have you been, no, because you aren't interested in expanding your mind. How do you know this camp doesn't debate and discuss.
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    (Original post by Rubgish)
    contradiction much? You can't claim you don't know how it works then state why it doesn't :facepalm:

    OP - Sit him down and talk to him. If he doesn't see sense soonish, you should probably move out of the relationship. If he carries on, it'll come to the point where one day he will realise that he can't go out with a non-christian because it goes agains this beliefs, then he'll dump you and you'll feel like **** for trying to make it work anyway.
    I fail to see your point.
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    (Original post by adamrules247)
    1. Then why does it challenge you to find the unicorns, they are a metephore for God.
    2. So you admit an athiest organiasation is involved.
    3. How do you know it is only teaching those views, have you been, no, because you aren't interested in expanding your mind. How do you know this camp doesn't debate and discuss.
    1. The point is supposed to be that you can't prove that something doesn't exist. The burden of proof is on someone who claims something exists/has happened, whether it be God, or any of the rubbish that celebrity magazines come out with, or whatever.
    2. So what if they've subsidised it? You were claiming that Dawkins was directly involved in the camp –*which he isn't. Okay, it probably is aimed more at atheistic/agnostic parents, but the Christian camp is aimed solely at Christians?
    3. It's a CHRISTIAN camp. Therefore it teaches Christian values. I might not have been to this particular camp, but I have plenty of experience of similar situations. And while they might "debate" issues, the point of faith is that it is a faith – any discussions that take place will inevitably come to the same conclusion. And expanding my mind? I know plenty about Christianity – enough to put me off for life.

    And anyway, are you implying that there shouldn't be camps for parents to send their children to that don't involve a specific religion?
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    I'm a Christian and every boyfriend I've had has been an atheist (apart from one who was a Satanist). But I'm not the type to even consider going to Church Camp. Good grief.
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    (Original post by missimpossible)
    1. The point is supposed to be that you can't prove that something doesn't exist. The burden of proof is on someone who claims something exists/has happened, whether it be God, or any of the rubbish that celebrity magazines come out with, or whatever.
    2. So what if they've subsidised it? You were claiming that Dawkins was directly involved in the camp –*which he isn't. Okay, it probably is aimed more at atheistic/agnostic parents, but the Christian camp is aimed solely at Christians?
    3. It's a CHRISTIAN camp. Therefore it teaches Christian values. I might not have been to this particular camp, but I have plenty of experience of similar situations. And while they might "debate" issues, the point of faith is that it is a faith – any discussions that take place will inevitably come to the same conclusion. And expanding my mind? I know plenty about Christianity – enough to put me off for life.

    And anyway, are you implying that there shouldn't be camps for parents to send their children to that don't involve a specific religion?
    Firstly I never said that these camps shouldn't be allowed. You just made a frankly horrible point about the TS partnet, I was just disputing a point you made in your original post.

    Now to the nitty gritty.

    The point about Dawkins

    quote from the times

    Dawkins, who is subsidising the camp, said it was designed to “encourage children to think for themselves, sceptically and rationally”. He certainly endorsed it.

    It may teach Christian values, but who is to say it doesn't encourage debate, I am sure they do. It could be about interpreation from passages, whether God exsists, etc. Your camp offers a £10 prize to anyone who can prove the unicorn excists. You can't prove it therefore no prize = no debate.
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    I guess the OP has to decide what's more important to her - the sex or the relationship. Are there any other parts of his religion that are getting in the way or is it just the sex side of it?

    You can still be intimite with him, just not sexually intimate. I think that, in a way, you might be able to have a much more pure and strong relationship with someone if you're connecting through emotions and personality alone without sex to distort it. Having said that I'd be pretty gutted if my boyfriend woke up one day and decided we couldn't have sex any more. :p:

    How long has it been since he turned uber-christian? If it's recent then you might just need time to adjust (and he might change his mind after a few weeks away from the camp )

    I also find it annoying that he doesnt seem to appriciate that i accept it.
    Tell him. You're making big compromises here, he needs to appreciate that to appreciate you.
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    (Original post by Vampyrcorn)
    I guess the OP has to decide what's more important to her - the sex or the relationship. Are there any other parts of his religion that are getting in the way or is it just the sex side of it?

    You can still be intimite with him, just not sexually intimate. I think that, in a way, you might be able to have a much more pure and strong relationship with someone if you're connecting through emotions and personality alone without sex to distort it. Having said that I'd be pretty gutted if my boyfriend woke up one day and decided we couldn't have sex any more. :p:

    How long has it been since he turned uber-christian? If it's recent then you might just need time to adjust (and he might change his mind after a few weeks away from the camp



    Tell him. You're making big compromises here, he needs to appreciate that to appreciate you.
    Yeah it's been very recent, he got back yesterday so im still taking it in.
    Sex isnt that important to me, we havent even had sex yet but it's not like we didnt do other stuff, and I like that, it makes me feel attractive and confident. I cant answer the question anyway since I am really confused at the moment lol.

    And clearly people have contradicting views on if a christian camp can change your opinions over a weekend. I dont know what went on really but I know how he felt before hand and he came back a different person.
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    (Original post by adamrules247)
    Firstly I never said that these camps shouldn't be allowed. You just made a frankly horrible point about the TS partnet, I was just disputing a point you made in your original post.

    Now to the nitty gritty.

    The point about Dawkins

    quote from the times

    Dawkins, who is subsidising the camp, said it was designed to “encourage children to think for themselves, sceptically and rationally”. He certainly endorsed it.

    It may teach Christian values, but who is to say it doesn't encourage debate, I am sure they do. It could be about interpreation from passages, whether God exsists, etc. Your camp offers a £10 prize to anyone who can prove the unicorn excists. You can't prove it therefore no prize = no debate.
    Frankly I'm too tired and have far too much to do to continue along this line of argument, as we're just going round in circles. Plus, trying to decipher your posts is giving me a headache. Ah well, never mind, I'm sure you'll learn to spell some day :rolleyes:
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    Show him your boobs and say these or god?
 
 
 
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