trust him or not?

Hi I want advice on whether to trust this guy or not apologies but this is gonna be a long post!

I've been going out with this guy for 3 weeks, we'd kinda been seeing on and off for a month and then he wanted to make it more official. He's away for work during the week so I only really get to see him at wkends but we'd been having fun and I thought he really liked me.
But on friday I had an intervention from my friends (desperate housewives style) and they had heard that another girl thought she was seeing him at the same time- she'd had some pic messages which sounded very similar to ones he'd sent me and he'd apparently text her saying he felt really strongly for her and wanted her. This girl doesn't know about me or know that the person she was telling knows this guy, She also isn't apparently interested in him and had kinda given up on him when he text her. Anyway I stayed quite calm wanting to give my boyfriend the benefit of the doubt and cos he was coming to see me on friday night I thought I'd just ask him face to face. But he didn't turn up on friday night and text me about 10 to ask whether he could still come round I told him not to but that mayb we could go out for a drink saturday night. He said he'd bring a movie round so I was all ready to ask him again. Meanwhile my friend had been finding out more about this girls story and it seemed like he'd definitly been texting whilst going out with me. So again he text me about 7 to ask whether he could come round at 10. :mad:

At this point I was feeling pretty fed up so I said I need to ask you about something and if it turns out to be true I'm not sure whether I wanna see you at all- hoping that he'd jump in his car and come and see me. I got a text back asking what the ****? and I explained what I'd heard. He said that he had been out with this girl a couple of times but before we'd started going out and it had been her that'd had text him all that stuff and that they were just mates and nothing was gonna happen.
I know it doesn't sound good I mean this girl doesn't have any reason to lie but at the same time he seemed to be really into me it was him who wanted us to be boyfriend and girlfriend, plus I don't understand why once he'd been busted he'd keep trying to convinve me he hadn't :confused:

! In his texts explaining he slipped in stuff about how he'd spoken to his dad for the first time in a years and told him all about me and how he didn't wanna lose me

So opinions? What should I do?

thanx xxx

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Reply 1

Trigger

hes playing games your being cheated on dump him and move on

Reply 2

Thankyou I think I saw it for myself but I needed someone just to slap it into me :rolleyes:

and your bluntness has probably done that! So glad I hadn't slept with him now!

Reply 3

blondebombshell

His story sounds a bit strange. Did he give u any explanation as to why he couldn't keep to the time he said he'd come round at?

Reply 4

Trigger

thank god i mean seriously its obvious even to me hes seening this girl behind yuor back find someone who makes you happy not someone whos so blatently a creep your mates have to sit you doen and tell you
dont blame yourself

Reply 5

Jayjayjay

Maybe still give him the benefit of the doubt. It could be the other way around (she does text him in a friendly manner now and then and vice versa), he says he sees her as a friend, that could well be true plus she is not interested anyway. I think it is you he wants, early days yet though... All the best =0)

Reply 6

ciara

I agree, you deserve better than to be with a guy like that - dump him. If he is really worth he will prove himself to you, but sounds to me like he won't and in time you will be glad you did it.

Cxx

Reply 7

jbcubed3

Hmm, seems a bit of a so-so kinda thing. I'd maybe give him the bfd until you're really really certain. Maybe try and get a conversation about it going, depending on how he reacts it should show if he's really guilty or not I guess. If anything is happening (hopefully isn't) then I guess it's time to give him his last conversation and move on.

Reply 8

Trigger

but its so obvious hes taking the piss

Reply 9

Shelbycakes

Dont trust him, he's messing you about and you deserve better

Reply 10

jbcubed3

Maybe so trigger, but even if he sounds a bit odd, maybe it's worth her just trying once more to be sure though I'm certain there are much better opportunities out there.

:smile:

Reply 11

Jayjayjay

Maybe not though - what if she is just someone he texts now and then. Not in a relationship sense but in a friendly manner. Obviously you hope nothing is going but you can't be sure. Depends how much trust you have of him...Just be careful I would say.

Reply 12

Trigger

then why dose this girl have the same pics have messages i wnat to be with you?

Reply 13

_poptart_

Ignore him for a few days. if he genuinely does like u and this girl is just a friend, he will come back and prove to you that your the one he wants.
But to be honest what youve described about him makes him sound like a bit of an asshole, maybe you should just move on!! :biggrin:

Reply 14

yeah I agree his behaviours a bit odd y he wud make such a deal of asking me out and telling everyone about us and then keep other girls going. I don't think this girl thinks of him as a friend tho so his explanation dusn't really stand up - she did fancy him but then went off him and his texts kinda came out the blue I think thats right but I dunno all the details because its being passed to me through a friend of a friend! but I guess its a case of him wanting to have his cake and eat it too (although I don't get that phrase cos y shudn't u eat a cake if you have it?!?)

I'm not seeing him again this weekend cos I've got exams all this week and need to revise. I wish I had a chance to talk to him face to face but the fact he hasn't wanted to says a lot I think. The last msg I sent last night sed I didn't see why she'd lie, that I liked him but I didn't want to be messed around. but the msg back had that stupid some text missing thing grr! and so all I got was "*some text missing*go 4 a meal? Neway I owe u a fiver from that bet! X tb xx" (We made a bet whether there was such a thing as a banana phobia). My last text hadn't been as angry as some of the others so I dunno If he thinks I've accepted his side of it.

By the way a tip to anyone who's thinking of doing an intervention with a friend its not a good idea- things like your boyfriends cheating on you should be saved for a one to one basis- because I felt completely humiliated and like I'd been discussed behind my back! I know they had my best interests heart and I love them for telling me but just the way they did it probably made me feel worse!

Reply 15

_poptart_

seems to me like he's trying to move away from the subject - the fact that he doesnt wanna talk about it face to face is really say something i agree!!
Maybe you should go out with him again, if only to get that fiver he owes you :wink:

Reply 16

JoeCool_Lemming

I've never understood why you'd want cake but not want to eat it. Why have cake and just let it go stale? EAT THE GODDAMN CAKE!
....Anyway. His story seems dodgy. I mean the whole thing about his dad - if he hasn't spoken to him in a year, why start just to tell him about a girl he's dating? Unless you two were about to get engaged or something :p:

Dump him. I doubt he's worth the stress he's putting you through.

Reply 17

The Colonel

Dump him and slap him for good mmeasure :biggrin:

Reply 18

blondebombshell

His story sounds a bit strange. Did he give u any explanation as to why he couldn't keep to the time he said he'd come round at?

No that was another thing he said he was busy doing sh*t! even though I'd told him i had exams next week so if he wanted to see me then friday was the only time I could really. He hasn't got his car with him at the moment cos he got a lift from the barracks by his mate so he's kinda dependent on him to come round n see me but still he cud just get the bus. I'm trying to be fair to him because despite what I've made him seem like he is really sweet to me when I'm with him, but really i'm an intelligent girl and there really seems no other explanation than he is a player

The dad thing I found weird too like he was trying to emotionally blackmail me! plus in one of the texts he said tell u the truth I haven't kissed another girl when I've been going out with you-- like I should be grateful!!

I hate dumping people tho I'm really bad at it cos I worry about hurting their feelings- although in this case I probably shouldn't. Plus once he gets me face to face then I know I'm gonna start faltering :redface:

Reply 19

dudey_cool

You seem to be wasting a lot of time worrying about this guy, who doesn't seem like he's doing the same - you need someone who treats you right.

Hear his side of the story, but hold your own. If he's messing you around, get rid of him girl, simple as.