The Student Room Group

Unwanted, Un-loved by his parents,not being cared for,Unfair treatment!

Hey guys! I was so upset today seeing my friend cry in front of me. Well at first, we we're just having a fun chat but then he seemed to like mentioned all of his worries, concerns and problems in life.:frown:
He told me that:
a)he never heard from his parents a 'well done!' to him even if he tris his best in all that he do;
b)his childhood memories were so bad. So bad that he don't want to remember it again. He told me once that in order to please his parents, he joined a running competition at his school. His dad told him that we will be there on the competition. But then during the competition, his parents were not around to support or cheer for him. He still ran and lost the game bacause he was so upset. He came back to their house and asked his father why he didn't come. And his father replied, 'I just can't be bothered to!';
c)He receives no attention unlike his brothers and sister;
d)he told me once that when he was younger, he really liked football. But his dad doesn't care. His uncle came 'round and invited him to go to the park and play football. His uncle was so astonished how good he is. HIs uncle told his father about it. His father just said, 'all right' then changed the topic immediately;
e)When he passed his college, his parents didn't even bother to look at his grades. He was so upset that he just went upstairs - to his bedroom and just cried. He was expecting from them to at least say the golden phrase for his, 'Well Done' that he his longing for since childhood.
He is Kyle, 18 years old. He has a gf at the moment, but his parents seem not to like this girl. They love each other. I think that his parents just dont want him to be happy in his life. How appalling.
P.S. this post be of inspiration to others. Now, I have realised that 'money really cannot buy all the happiness in this world.'
If you would like to give your kind comments/heart-felt opinions or any sensible quieries, please don't hesitate to post it.
He desperately needs help and support at the moment. Thank you very much guys!

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Reply 1
mmmm no comment
Reply 2
im sorry to say he isnt the only person like that i have friends like that but they cant escape because they are younger cant he get a job and move out and get them out of his life
Reply 3
Thats really sad. Hope you can be there for him :smile:
this is going to sound really harsh, but from what you said, this post is in NO WAY an "inspiration". Yes, money cannot buy happiness, but I don't see any direct relevance of that to this post because we're mainly focusing on his issues with his parents.

The only way he can resolve his situation is to really sit down and talk to his parents about his feelings instead of hiding his feelings all the time. Yes, his parents' neglect might seem extremely unfair and uncaring, but no outsiders have any right to judge them. this problem is between your friend and his parents, and unless he confronts them and faces the problem instead of being all upset about it, nothing is going to change and in the long term there's just going to be more hearts broken and hatred and misunderstanding.

as his friend, you should offer him support and listen to him if he needs, but you shouldn't encourage his negative feelings in any way. i'm not saying you are, i'm just stating that friends should be supporting, but should also remain as neutral as possible and encourage him to solve the problem instead of running away from it.

this might sound very cliche, but there are many people who suffer from far worse than this. there are people here who have their parents divorced or hate each other; some grow up in broken families, and some don't even have parent(s). if your friend is to continue to take that for granted and whine about it still after all these years, then he is simply naive and ungrateful.

i hope your friend would be able to sort out this problem soon. :smile:
Give him a hug for me:smile:
I guess all parents are like that at least once, although parents like Kyle's should try to be more supportive and caring...
Reply 6
Support your friend but don't encourage any negative feelings towards his parents. And maybe tell him to look on the bright side that at least he can get out of such an environment and he has a girlfriend who loves him, and he has friends like you :smile:
thats sad :frown:
Reply 8
Maybe Kyle should try and make his life happy and see what good comes from it instead of crying over spilt milk. Get active in solving the problem, dont dwell on it.
agreed.
So the guy has horrid parents. big deal.
I mean if he had put up with this his whole life why would it be enough to reduce him to tears when he got his college grades?
Sounds more like a 'doesn't get the ettention he craves from parents' rather than 'doesn't get ANY attention from parents'

the person posting the other day whose parents were refusing to give them money to go to uni, nor allow them financial details so they can get a student loan was much more genuine and relevant to the people here.

the story is in no way inspiring because the guy in your story has done nothing successful, and still whines about his situation. The person that breaks free from such a situation is an inspiration, not the person who gets bogged down.
they are a tragedy.
foolfarian
agreed.
So the guy has horrid parents. big deal.
I mean if he had put up with this his whole life why would it be enough to reduce him to tears when he got his college grades?
Sounds more like a 'doesn't get the ettention he craves from parents' rather than 'doesn't get ANY attention from parents'

the person posting the other day whose parents were refusing to give them money to go to uni, nor allow them financial details so they can get a student loan was much more genuine and relevant to the people here.

the story is in no way inspiring because the guy in your story has done nothing successful, and still whines about his situation. The person that breaks free from such a situation is an inspiration, not the person who gets bogged down.
they are a tragedy.


*round of applause*
Reply 11
foolfarian
agreed.
So the guy has horrid parents. big deal.
I mean if he had put up with this his whole life why would it be enough to reduce him to tears when he got his college grades?
Sounds more like a 'doesn't get the ettention he craves from parents' rather than 'doesn't get ANY attention from parents'

the person posting the other day whose parents were refusing to give them money to go to uni, nor allow them financial details so they can get a student loan was much more genuine and relevant to the people here.

the story is in no way inspiring because the guy in your story has done nothing successful, and still whines about his situation. The person that breaks free from such a situation is an inspiration, not the person who gets bogged down.
they are a tragedy.

agreeded theres nothing inspirational about him at all. My mother or father didnt come to any of my horse shows did see me when a red rosett and didnt even seem bothered when i told them but im not too bothered because im proud of myself. He needs to see the bigger picture if his uncle is so great then talk to him about it
Reply 12
foolfarian


the person posting the other day whose parents were refusing to give them money to go to uni, nor allow them financial details so they can get a student loan was much more genuine and relevant to the people here.


what was this thread's title?
ramroff
what was this thread's title?

not sure, it was in the academic forum section
Reply 14
ramroff
what was this thread's title?

Something like "help, my mum has ripped up my student loan form"
Reply 15
eurasianfeline
this is going to sound really harsh, but from what you said, this post is in NO WAY an "inspiration". Yes, money cannot buy happiness, but I don't see any direct relevance of that to this post because we're mainly focusing on his issues with his parents.

The only way he can resolve his situation is to really sit down and talk to his parents about his feelings instead of hiding his feelings all the time. Yes, his parents' neglect might seem extremely unfair and uncaring, but no outsiders have any right to judge them. this problem is between your friend and his parents, and unless he confronts them and faces the problem instead of being all upset about it, nothing is going to change and in the long term there's just going to be more hearts broken and hatred and misunderstanding.

as his friend, you should offer him support and listen to him if he needs, but you shouldn't encourage his negative feelings in any way. i'm not saying you are, i'm just stating that friends should be supporting, but should also remain as neutral as possible and encourage him to solve the problem instead of running away from it.

this might sound very cliche, but there are many people who suffer from far worse than this. there are people here who have their parents divorced or hate each other; some grow up in broken families, and some don't even have parent(s). if your friend is to continue to take that for granted and whine about it still after all these years, then he is simply naive and ungrateful.

i hope your friend would be able to sort out this problem soon. :smile:



Agreed. It is a cliché. And could be applied to most people here. Is there some kind of formula for measuring emotional neglect and, if there is, do you have a link.
you just have to be a good mate and be there for him when his parents aren't :smile:
foolfarian


the person posting the other day whose parents were refusing to give them money to go to uni, nor allow them financial details so they can get a student loan was much more genuine and relevant to the people here.



could you direct me to that thread?? my friend is having exactly the same problem, and doenst know what to do about finance..
Kyle needs a big hug.
Reply 19
CogitoErgoSum
could you direct me to that thread?? my friend is having exactly the same problem, and doenst know what to do about finance..


Get his/her parents to officially disown hm/her.