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hurting soo much

jen1987

things are goin so bad at the mo.. my ex boyfriend who has been messing me about saying he liked me and kissing me and stuff till like last week has got a new gf.. and its not that im bothered its just i know it would pain me to see them together adn i know that i will have to cos me and my ex hang about with the same pppl.. And i feel that with this i have lost a friend in my ex because b4 we went out we were really close and now no mattter how much i want to be his friend i feel i cant cos he hurt me so much i just think our relationship was based on a whole lot of lies in the latter months and it hurts me to make me think that some one so close could do that to you. so i really dont know how to cope when i have to see them together i think i mite just have to avoid goin to parties or out on the town when i know he is going. i find it hard to even talk to him cos of how much he messed me around like pretending he liked me and then like a week later goin out with this other girl.. also my exams are going rubbish and my unlce has got really ill and im really down at the moment.. :frown:

Reply 1

clairey87

1

I know it's really really hard but hold your head up high! Don't avoid going out and having a good time....you will have to see them together sooner or later. Good luck x x x

Reply 2

jen1987

OP

thanks.. i lost him as a friend now as well which hurts to cos i just cant be his mate cos he has hurt me and messed me up even though i want to be

Reply 3

Book

9

I'm really sorry to hear your having a tough time at the moment. Things can only get better though, it is a chiche, but trust me on this one. feel free to PM me any time. Better still - Do you have a close freind or relative/teacher you can talk all this through with over a cup of tea? I think that's the best way forward. If you feel uncomfortable/unable to do this, the samaritans are great at listening.

I don't think you should stop going out to parties etc. - just go and enjoy yourself! act as though you don't care what your ex is doing. Soon you'll be having such a good time you really won't! But I wouldnt be too hard on your ex though, knowing how to sensitively act in and end a relationship only comes with practice. - I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, I don't think he's being vindictive, just unsensitive and do remember that lots of people take a long time to mature. Good luck, you WILL get through this.

Reply 4

strawberry_wise

13

it is a cliche but time is really a great healer. It hurts now, and it will for a while, but someday there will be a moment when you'll realise that you really don't care about him anymore. He messed you around, he lied to you, and pretty soon you are, quite rightly, going to feel very angry about that. In the meantime, surround yourself with friends, and think about all the wonderful things you will achieve in the future.

thinking of you,
strawbs x

Reply 5

_poptart_

2

jen1987

thanks.. i lost him as a friend now as well which hurts to cos i just cant be his mate cos he has hurt me and messed me up even though i want to be

aww i hope your feeling a bit better now :smile:

I know how you feel, when you break up with someone it is hard that you often lose their friendship at the samw time :frown:

but you have to remember if he was worth being friends with he would make the effort with you, and he prob wont shove it in your face that he has a new girlfriend.
Dont stop going out cos you cant face it - it will take even longer 2 get over. You hav to face the music and be strong. You might discover it takes a lot less time than you think to be able to cope :p:

if you need anyone to talk to you can always PM me good luck :biggrin:

Reply 6

Lauren18

14

Aaah you poor thing, I sympathise with you - I had a patch a few weeks ago where I felt everything was going wrong in my life - you just feel so down :frown:

so I know how you're feeling.

I really do think, though, that you have to find some inner strength and think 'f*ck it, I'm stronger than this'. Don't change your social life at all, just hold your head high and if anyone feels uncomfortable, it should be him. Otherwise, things just spiral even further downhill and you feel even more down.

My advice would be to put on a face mask, stick on the clothes that make you feel good, put on your favourite up-beat music really loud :biggrin:

curl your hair, paint your nails (or whatever makes you feel good about yourself) and just think about all the things that you should feel 'up' about. Or maybe go out and buy a load of clothes you don't need... or phone a friend and go out somewhere - just do anything which will pick you up a bit, you'll be amazed how different you feel afterwards.

Someone said time is a healer - well yes it is, but you don't need to wait for things to improve; you can make the improvements yourself.

Hope things get better soon x x x

Reply 7

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

14

Lauren18

Aaah you poor thing, I sympathise with you - I had a patch a few weeks ago where I felt everything was going wrong in my life - you just feel so down :frown:

so I know how you're feeling.

I really do think, though, that you have to find some inner strength and think 'f*ck it, I'm stronger than this'. Don't change your social life at all, just hold your head high and if anyone feels uncomfortable, it should be him. Otherwise, things just spiral even further downhill and you feel even more down.

My advice would be to put on a face mask, stick on the clothes that make you feel good, put on your favourite up-beat music really loud :biggrin:

curl your hair, paint your nails (or whatever makes you feel good about yourself) and just think about all the things that you should feel 'up' about. Or maybe go out and buy a load of clothes you don't need... or phone a friend and go out somewhere - just do anything which will pick you up a bit, you'll be amazed how different you feel afterwards.

Someone said time is a healer - well yes it is, but you don't need to wait for things to improve; you can make the improvements yourself.

Hope things get better soon x x x

yeah i agree what Laurens sayin, have a girly night in, no men allowed :p:

get all ur girlfriends over and have a gossip :smile:

also I hope ya feel better soon ya can do so much better than him :hugs:

xoxo

Reply 8

shellz_luvz_ya

im in exactly the same position: my boyfriend treated me badly and he was my best mate. And i've got prom on wednesday: what am i gonna do of he's with someone else?

Reply 9

jen1987

OP

i feel so much better now.. i went out met loads of new blokes :P and basically talking to him now i think well its his loss not mine. i jsut think he is the biggest looser ever for how he treated me and there are gonna b loads of other guys out there. and now i couldnt care if i see him with his gf infact i kinda feel sorry for her lol being stuck with him.. i realised that now im happier without him

Reply 10

jen1987

OP

shellz_luvz_ya

im in exactly the same position: my boyfriend treated me badly and he was my best mate. And i've got prom on wednesday: what am i gonna do of he's with someone else?

if hes with some one else then just see that its obviously not meant to b.. he cant treat u badly its not fair on u, if u do still like him then go get with some other guy to make him jealous or u never know that may make u see that u dont need him.. he was meant to b ur bf and ur best mate and if he treats u bad then hes not worth it, i just think how can u call some one like that a friend, they obviously are in it for themselves and they dont care about anyone else.. dont let him keep doing it like i did, just get over him trust me i know its hard but if he;s with some one else u have to, its his loss not urs hes the bad one not u so dont punish ur self by wishing u still had him

Reply 11

SamTheMan

17

jen1987

i feel so much better now.. i went out met loads of new blokes :P and basically talking to him now i think well its his loss not mine. i jsut think he is the biggest looser ever for how he treated me and there are gonna b loads of other guys out there. and now i couldnt care if i see him with his gf infact i kinda feel sorry for her lol being stuck with him.. i realised that now im happier without him

You're young and you've been had. Don't worry, even when you're older, it's easy to be tricked and blind but hinsight helps quite a bit.
The guy told you he liked ... if he's with another girlfriend now, he definitely had no feelings for you. Maybe he did like you, not in the way of actually being attracted and attached to you... "Just as a friend"