Turn on thread page Beta
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    To all of you that have been reading this thread as its progressed, here is an extract of a report from my psychologist, that may or may not be of assistance

    You acknowledge that your defences are not getting close to people, pushing people away, building up a wall, not accessing hurt feelings and sometimes coming out of yourself. You experience this as almost watching yourself from the outside. You keep yourself busy all the time and dont allow yourself time for relaxing, but this may be a way of avoiding thinking about or dealing with painful underlying feelings.

    I cant give anyone the answers, I can give you support, somewhere to talk to others who feel similar to how you feel, having just one person to talk to can make all the difference.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sire)
    Is that why you feel the need to blame people?
    I blame myself Sire, I purposely lead my life so there is noone to blame for my mistakes other than myself, I hold noone responsible for my shortcomings, I expect nothing, oh the joys of life...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DevilsDoor)
    I blame myself Sire, I purposely lead my life so there is noone to blame for my mistakes other than myself, I hold noone responsible for my shortcomings, I expect nothing, oh the joys of life...
    As always, that would wash with anyone else. You really do need to take up a sport of some kind. Obviously one of the less physical ones, but JSM is right, it will help. Been saying that for what must be close to 2 years now. Depression is all about focus, and usually too much focus. Sports and other recreations help to take the focus away. Eg: someone who drinks. It is a poor attempt at relief, but it still shares the same ethos.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Personally (I've not read this thread) I feel that depression is a necessity to go through and every teenager/20 something has experienced at some point. It's just bad when it gets severe and you start slicing yourself up or hurting others around you.
    Where's that british motto nowadays, stiff upper lip and all that, there is ALWAYS someone worse off than you. Nowadays people are like "me me me me!" and forget about that single mother in Leigh Park, that was raped by her boyfriend and then told she doesn't qualify for tax credits....that is someone worse off than someone being dumped by their boyfriend, so they cut themselves up.
    I've got insomnia and I'm bored...so I apologise, but I speak from experience
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Danithestudent)
    Personally (I've not read this thread) I feel that depression is a necessity to go through and every teenager/20 something has experienced at some point. It's just bad when it gets severe and you start slicing yourself up or hurting others around you.
    Where's that british motto nowadays, stiff upper lip and all that, there is ALWAYS someone worse off than you. Nowadays people are like "me me me me!" and forget about that single mother in Leigh Park, that was raped by her boyfriend and then told she doesn't qualify for tax credits....that is someone worse off than someone being dumped by their boyfriend, so they cut themselves up.
    I've got insomnia and I'm bored...so I apologise, but I speak from experience
    *applauds* well said
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sire)
    As always, that would wash with anyone else. You really do need to take up a sport of some kind. Obviously one of the less physical ones, but JSM is right, it will help. Been saying that for what must be close to 2 years now. Depression is all about focus, and usually too much focus. Sports and other recreations help to take the focus away. Eg: someone who drinks. It is a poor attempt at relief, but it still shares the same ethos.
    A friend when needed, met a wall of silence, asked, got no reply, retreated to find solace. Music, sport, books etc does not replace what a friend can give, Everyone needs support.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sire)
    Yeah I've tried it a few times, but I guess I just don't have the guts. Is that why you called me yesterday?
    yes thats why i called but you already knew that, so no need to ask. i think i agree with what devilsdoor said u don't need guts in the end. but if you do then i don't have them, thus still being here.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Danithestudent)
    Personally (I've not read this thread) I feel that depression is a necessity to go through and every teenager/20 something has experienced at some point. It's just bad when it gets severe and you start slicing yourself up or hurting others around you.
    Where's that british motto nowadays, stiff upper lip and all that, there is ALWAYS someone worse off than you. Nowadays people are like "me me me me!" and forget about that single mother in Leigh Park, that was raped by her boyfriend and then told she doesn't qualify for tax credits....that is someone worse off than someone being dumped by their boyfriend, so they cut themselves up.
    I've got insomnia and I'm bored...so I apologise, but I speak from experience
    Not being a teenager I dont fall into that category, having self harmed and come out the other end I can comment from personal experience, having never used drink or drugs as a substitute for what is lacking in my life but having those around me kill themselves, Ive had first hand experience. I dont think about me and am forever being told its about time I put myself first. Depression is easy to be judged by those fortunate enough never to have been there, getting over a bout takes time and being able to ask for help and recieving that help can make the world of difference. Of course there are people worse off in the world, there always will be, Im not making light of anyones problems, no matter how big or small they seem to one person, to the person involved they could be there world, time means a lot and mostly time is all someone needs.

    Join the club Dani, I cant sleep either
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DevilsDoor)
    It doesnt take guts to take your life, it takes more of a person to see the day through, Im hoping that by starting this thread I can give myself reason and purpose to see the end of today, tomorrow and the next day, because right now I have nothing and Im grasping at anything that will give me what I need to survive. I feel angry, bitter and let down
    Patience...though. People ask, "How can I trust when I do not have?" How can you have when you trust what you do not? You exist, just as you always have, and always will. Stop waiting for something, you are under a big self-inflicted lie that you just need a little more, or something to go on. The truth is, existence simply is. You are. This is all you can trust, this is all you have ever known, but may not realize it. So then, go for what you're needing, get what you're wanting, and trust in what is coming.

    Stop focusing on the bad things about society, all the crap that goes on thinking this is your motivation--destined to lose, as if this somehow fulfills your own happiness, your own being. This may fill someone else's ego, it may be a way to fight your own ego, but the truth is you, feeling empty already, know what it is like to lose, to have not, to feel bad, to feel this or that. You are feeling hopeless, and if you ever thought all people somehow needed this, or you for some reason needed this before you could ever be loved or deserving, then realize now: every moment you live is not worth this or that, nor to be compared. Move on, and BE. Being is not more, or less, or the past, or the future, it is just truth. People who put up standards get let down. People who just "BE" are free. Freedom, isn't that what you want? Liberate yourself, of yourself, most of all. Stop looking for answers. You do not need an answer to feel better. When this "need" and negativity desiring an answer to somehow correct it comes about, realize--this is my EGO. This is my EGO lying to me. I sense this negativity, but it is not me. I sense it, and because I want it to go away, I already know it is not me. Because I see it as separate, I already know it is not my being. No answer is needed to solve it, it is just there. I will let it go.

    My future is not destined to be horrible. I know this. Bad things happen, yes, but this is all opinion. And, I hold the power to keep myself protected. When I feel I need something to be at peace (an answer or some sort as if you "are" what you think--anyone can come up with their own positive answer to their negativity, and this is simply realizing it is not true, it is just there, but it is not YOU, so let it go--you are just BEING, let it go) I am putting up illusions of neediness, worth, etc. Life is not bad. The majority of my life is simply BEING. Yes, there are bad things, yes there are good things, but the majority is simply BEING. These bad things do not defined who I am, and anytime I believe they are destined to reoccur, I am being lied to. If they do reoccur, thinking about it isn't going to solve anything, you know. What if you knew "controlling" did NO good at all? Trying to control an outcome regardless of an event even happening? Wouldn't it be easier to say you have no control? This way you just experience what is there. Would you trust your control anyway? What if I told you that you live your life, and trying to control the future without simply BEING and living in the moment is causing your unhappiness. Wouldn't you say, well, DAMN. Okay, there's a reason to live. I no longer have to struggle, it is doing no good. The more I struggle, the more of my own being and energy I am using up to manifest better things, as well as healing. Isn't that already hope?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DevilsDoor)
    A friend when needed, met a wall of silence, asked, got no reply, retreated to find solace. Music, sport, books etc does not replace what a friend can give, Everyone needs support.
    Touche`
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Danithestudent)
    Personally (I've not read this thread) I feel that depression is a necessity to go through and every teenager/20 something has experienced at some point. It's just bad when it gets severe and you start slicing yourself up or hurting others around you.
    Where's that british motto nowadays, stiff upper lip and all that, there is ALWAYS someone worse off than you. Nowadays people are like "me me me me!" and forget about that single mother in Leigh Park, that was raped by her boyfriend and then told she doesn't qualify for tax credits....that is someone worse off than someone being dumped by their boyfriend, so they cut themselves up.
    I've got insomnia and I'm bored...so I apologise, but I speak from experience
    i'm with sire, well said, there are far more people in this world that are worse off, but what you said "feel that depression is a necessity to go through" kind of scares a bit, i think thats a worry, when most kids and young adults these days are experiencing depression. so many hurt lives and pointless suicides, not the most cheerful thing, even thought there are people who suffer so much more, these people suffer too.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by caz)
    Patience...though. People ask, "How can I trust when I do not have?" How can you have when you trust what you do not? You exist, just as you always have, and always will. Stop waiting for something, you are under a big self-inflicted lie that you just need a little more, or something to go on. The truth is, existence simply is. You are. This is all you can trust, this is all you have ever known, but may not realize it. So then, go for what you're needing, get what you're wanting, and trust in what is coming.

    Stop focusing on the bad things about society, all the crap that goes on thinking this is your motivation--destined to lose, as if this somehow fulfills your own happiness, your own being. This may fill someone else's ego, it may be a way to fight your own ego, but the truth is you, feeling empty already, know what it is like to lose, to have not, to feel bad, to feel this or that. You are feeling hopeless, and if you ever thought all people somehow needed this, or you for some reason needed this before you could ever be loved or deserving, then realize now: every moment you live is not worth this or that, nor to be compared. Move on, and BE. Being is not more, or less, or the past, or the future, it is just truth. People who put up standards get let down. People who just "BE" are free. Freedom, isn't that what you want? Liberate yourself, of yourself, most of all. Stop looking for answers. You do not need an answer to feel better. When this "need" and negativity desiring an answer to somehow correct it comes about, realize--this is my EGO. This is my EGO lying to me. I sense this negativity, but it is not me. I sense it, and because I want it to go away, I already know it is not me. Because I see it as separate, I already know it is not my being. No answer is needed to solve it, it is just there. I will let it go.

    My future is not destined to be horrible. I know this. Bad things happen, yes, but this is all opinion. And, I hold the power to keep myself protected. When I feel I need something to be at peace (an answer or some sort as if you "are" what you think--anyone can come up with their own positive answer to their negativity, and this is simply realizing it is not true, it is just there, but it is not YOU, so let it go--you are just BEING, let it go) I am putting up illusions of neediness, worth, etc. Life is not bad. The majority of my life is simply BEING. Yes, there are bad things, yes there are good things, but the majority is simply BEING. These bad things do not defined who I am, and anytime I believe they are destined to reoccur, I am being lied to. If they do reoccur, thinking about it isn't going to solve anything, you know. What if you knew "controlling" did NO good at all? Trying to control an outcome regardless of an event even happening? Wouldn't it be easier to say you have no control? This way you just experience what is there. Would you trust your control anyway? What if I told you that you live your life, and trying to control the future without simply BEING and living in the moment is causing your unhappiness. Wouldn't you say, well, DAMN. Okay, there's a reason to live. I no longer have to struggle, it is doing no good. The more I struggle, the more of my own being and energy I am using up to manifest better things, as well as healing. Isn't that already hope?
    caz: would you mind terribly if I just did a copy/paste of say 15 of your postings, and titled it UK Learning - A Memoir???
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sire)
    caz: would you mind terribly if I just did a copy/paste of say 15 of your postings, and titled it UK Learning - A Memoir???
    I don't give a **** do what you gotta do
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by caz)
    I don't give a **** do what you gotta do
    Thanks
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DevilsDoor)
    A friend when needed, met a wall of silence, asked, got no reply, retreated to find solace. Music, sport, books etc does not replace what a friend can give, Everyone needs support.
    agree totally, we need support therefore the reason why i chose to pick up the phone and call sire yesterday. i fell down into a bad postion and a true friend can pull you out again. i think thats what every person needs someone who understands what they're going through and helps them out of it, i'm glad i already found someone like that, no names .
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    *hums* to herself, war is stupid and people stupid,
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DevilsDoor)
    *hums* to herself, war is stupid and people stupid,
    So, so you think you could tell... heaven from hell...
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by snow_white)
    agree totally, we need support therefore the reason why i chose to pick up the phone and call sire yesterday. i fell down into a bad postion and a true friend can pull you out again. i think thats what every person needs someone who understands what they're going through and helps them out of it, i'm glad i already found someone like that, no names .
    Its great to have someone you can turn to in times of need, I had someone I could do the same with, he once told me these words and I hope Ive kept to them since

    Lovers come and lovers go, true friends dont come and true friends dont go, true friends were always there, sometimes good friends, sometimes bad friends, but still always friends.

    A friend that can help you snow_white is a friend to treasure,
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DevilsDoor)
    Its great to have someone you can turn to in times of need, I had someone I could do the same with, he once told me these words and I hope Ive kept to them since

    Lovers come and lovers go, true friends dont come and true friends dont go, true friends were always there, sometimes good friends, sometimes bad friends, but still always friends.

    A friend that can help you snow_white is a friend to treasure,
    Yikes. I hope you realise that the person who gave you those words will be a friend forever. No matter what the consequences.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sire)
    So, so you think you could tell... heaven from hell...
    Blue skies from pain.
    Can you tell a green field
    From a cold steel rail?
    A smile from a veil?
    Do you think you can tell?

    -----------------------------------------------------------------

    coz we're two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl year after year
 
 
 
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 18, 2004
Poll
How are you feeling in the run-up to Results Day 2018?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.