depression

Please please help
I'm at boarding school. The only person I can tell how I feel is my housemistress. No one has ever tried to help me like she has. But she is the person who has the power to kick me out if she thinks I'm too unwell to be here. I feel trapped, that the one person I can talk to I can't even show how bad I am feeling incase she sends me home (I HATE being at home, makes me worse). I didn't find counselling effective as I struggle to confide in someone I don't know. She wants me to try talking to this other lady within the school, but I feel it would take me too long to be able to trust this other lady and to get her to understand....I'd have to go over old feelings and events again. I can't live like this any longer. If I ever felt able to trust this other lady I would feel lost knowing that I would rarely see her. Why am I so needy? meh
I just don't know what to do. The person that has helped me (my housemistress) can't be bothered with me anymore. Why do I only trust her? She probably hates me. It would take me too long to get anyone else to understand. I'm trapped here.

Reply 1

Paul PTS

What do you want from other people?What should they understand?Your depression?What are the reasons of the depression?May be your housemistress also in the same depression and you angry her by repeating again and again what she herself is thinking about all the time.

Reply 2

BeckyBoo12

Prehaps you should talk to the lady within your boarding school, i mean even if it does take a while for you to trust her im sure it would be worth it in the end and at least you would be getting things off your chest in the process and know that you had someone to talk to if you needed too. Going over old feelings and events is hard but its probably what you need to do in order to get to the core of your depression and have the best chances of getting better. And i dont think you should not talk to your housemistress out of fears of her kicking you out, because im pretty certain that wouldnt be allowed.

Reply 3

~ Purple Rose ~

Try talking to the new person, just because you didn't find your counsellor helpful doesn't mean the same will happen again. You might find that you feel a lot more comfortable and able to open up with the new person.