I can't get it out of my head that i'm too fat to where my stupid prom dress and go to the prom. i was ok about how i loked and didn't think i was that big (size 14) but
someone spent most of the last few days pointing out that i've put on weight and "in certain light you do look kind of fat" etc. I know the only reason they are saying it (ok, aside from teh fact i now reckon they are ashamed of the way i look) is that they are genuinely concerned that i don't eat healthly and i agree, i don't.
But i've always had issues with my weight, at my biggest i was a size 16, but wheni had my depression really bad i was down to a size 10, (mainly cos i had no appitie)
It's bothering me so much i don't want to eat, all i can think is that i'm too fat and unhealthy and need to lose weight. and i know its not healthy to not eat but it not as bad if i'm just cutting out teh crap and eating less?
Sorry. It's going to be my last chance to see everyone before we go our separate ways to uni etc this summer, but i don't want to be remebered as being like this.

jus the thought of eating makes me feel like **** and i don't wnat to wear clothes that show any of me. like today i'm wearing the baggiest jeans i could find and a big tshirt.
sorry this is too long, i just dont know what to do
