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    Hey, I wasn't sure where to post this but the people here seem to give the best advice so I'm putting it here.
    As the thread title says, I have a dilemma. First a little about me: I'm an 18 year old student of French and Italian, I live in Cumbria (NW England) and I have a boyfriend who I met at uni and we have been together for nearly 9 months now and we are really happy. One problem, he lives in Norway (he's Norwegian, so that figures really).
    I'm going to visit my bf for a week in July which will be lovely, but then I have arranged to go to Italy to work as an au pair at the beginning of August until the end of September and I won't get to see him again until October. I'm scared of going to Italy by myself and the more I think about it, the less I want to go. I could still pull out of the au pair thing, but it's such a good opportunity. If I saty at home I could visit my bf more and all my other friends from uni........
    ARGH! What shall I do? Do I pull out of the au pair thing and stay in England or just go and be without my bf for 2 months....?
    Thanks for reading, sorry it's long.
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    What makes the au pair thing such a good opportunity?
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    (Original post by Rebecca/Becca)
    Hey, I wasn't sure where to post this but the people here seem to give the best advice so I'm putting it here.
    As the thread title says, I have a dilemma. First a little about me: I'm an 18 year old student of French and Italian, I live in Cumbria (NW England) and I have a boyfriend who I met at uni and we have been together for nearly 9 months now and we are really happy. One problem, he lives in Norway (he's Norwegian, so that figures really).
    I'm going to visit my bf for a week in July which will be lovely, but then I have arranged to go to Italy to work as an au pair at the beginning of August until the end of September and I won't get to see him again until October. I'm scared of going to Italy by myself and the more I think about it, the less I want to go. I could still pull out of the au pair thing, but it's such a good opportunity. If I saty at home I could visit my bf more and all my other friends from uni........
    ARGH! What shall I do? Do I pull out of the au pair thing and stay in England or just go and be without my bf for 2 months....?
    Thanks for reading, sorry it's long.
    From what you've said, I'd say you should go to Italy. You'll probably have a wonderful time there - no doubt you won't want to leave the kids you're placed with! And obviously it would help your degree and be useful in applying for jobs; so it seems a great idea.

    Even if you stayed at home, I guess you wouldn't see your boyfriend all the time seeing as he lives in Norway; so is it really worth giving up such a good opportunity? Two months isn't that long - and you can make up for all the lost time when you get back!

    It's a difficult decision; but you have to think about what's best long-term for you - and that would undoubtedly be to go ahead with the au pair job. I'm sure it will be a great experience, and your boyfriend would probably want you to do what's best for you. If you're as happy as you say you are, there's no reason that will change just because you're away for 8 weeks.

    I mean, I guess if you stayed at home he'd have to fly to see you - maybe he could fly over to Italy for a couple of days instead if you really can't cope without him?

    Good luck whatever happens ~Lauren x
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    (Original post by Onearmedbandit)
    What makes the au pair thing such a good opportunity?
    i'll be practising my italian, living in a country is such a valuable experience for learning a language.
    The thing is the only reason that's stopping me pulling out of the Itlay thing is letting the family I've arranged to work for down.
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    Go to Italy. You will have all the opportunity to make your Italian fluent ... and then next year take your bf to Italy with you on holiday!
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    Well I would have stayed at home normally in your position but it's not very fair if you've promised to work for a family. Plus the benefits, as you said, of living in Italy would be great for your linguistic skills.....

    Also on the upside... being away from your bf will probably make it even better when you get back together Just think 'o that. If I can go 19 years alone without even the prospect of a girlfriend in sight, I'm sure you can go 3 months without him, knowing you'll have a really sweet reunion in the near future.

    But... you will probably miss friends & family... and what if you don't enjoy it there? I don't suppose there's a get-out clause...
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    Thanks guys, I probably will go to Italy but it's still a difficult decision.....
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    (Original post by Rebecca/Becca)
    Thanks guys, I probably will go to Italy but it's still a difficult decision.....
    :hugs: By when do you have to decide?
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    (Original post by Onearmedbandit)
    :hugs: By when do you have to decide?
    Soon!!!! :eek: :afraid:
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    (Original post by Rebecca/Becca)
    Soon!!!! :eek: :afraid:
    definately go...i was in a similar position a few months ago when i had the opportunity to go to egypt for two months to work with a charity for sudanese refugees...

    i knew the time away from my bf would be hard and trust me it was (we ended up breaking up when it was only two weeks before i came back!) but we realised it was just the stress of being apart. We're now back together and happier than we've ever been and i had a fantastic opportunity and wouldn't have changed it for the world, in spite of its difficulty
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    Thanks for your help guys, I'm about 75% decided that I'll go, but I'm still deliberating.......argh.
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    definately go, its a fantastic opportunity, italy is a wonderful country, it will benefit your degree and future job prospects, and you wouldnt see your boyfriend for that whole time anyway! If its meant to be sure you'll miss each other, but you'll be even closer when you get back. it would be awful to not go and always regret it. It is a big step going by yourself, but once you've done it, you will probably feel proud. Also if you really hate it, i.e the family arent nice, just come back, you dont have to feel bad for leaving them if they arent nice to you.
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    You're all right......*sigh* I know going to Itlay is the right decision, but I'll miss my bf soooooo much, I suppose there's always phone and emails though. I'm confident we'll stay together as well.
    I'll let you all know what happens.
    Thanks people. xx
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    (Original post by Rebecca/Becca)
    Hey, I wasn't sure where to post this but the people here seem to give the best advice so I'm putting it here.
    As the thread title says, I have a dilemma. First a little about me: I'm an 18 year old student of French and Italian, I live in Cumbria (NW England) and I have a boyfriend who I met at uni and we have been together for nearly 9 months now and we are really happy. One problem, he lives in Norway (he's Norwegian, so that figures really).
    I'm going to visit my bf for a week in July which will be lovely, but then I have arranged to go to Italy to work as an au pair at the beginning of August until the end of September and I won't get to see him again until October. I'm scared of going to Italy by myself and the more I think about it, the less I want to go. I could still pull out of the au pair thing, but it's such a good opportunity. If I saty at home I could visit my bf more and all my other friends from uni........
    ARGH! What shall I do? Do I pull out of the au pair thing and stay in England or just go and be without my bf for 2 months....?
    Thanks for reading, sorry it's long.
    2 months is a long time yes but try 3...
    im an eu student as well and leave england every holiday as my parents want me to. plus im not allowed to date so can nevre visit him or he can never visit me so its a lot harder for us....
    i think you should go ahead and go to italy as its a new experience.
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    (Original post by Rebecca/Becca)
    Hey, I wasn't sure where to post this but the people here seem to give the best advice so I'm putting it here.
    As the thread title says, I have a dilemma. First a little about me: I'm an 18 year old student of French and Italian, I live in Cumbria (NW England) and I have a boyfriend who I met at uni and we have been together for nearly 9 months now and we are really happy. One problem, he lives in Norway (he's Norwegian, so that figures really).
    I'm going to visit my bf for a week in July which will be lovely, but then I have arranged to go to Italy to work as an au pair at the beginning of August until the end of September and I won't get to see him again until October. I'm scared of going to Italy by myself and the more I think about it, the less I want to go. I could still pull out of the au pair thing, but it's such a good opportunity. If I saty at home I could visit my bf more and all my other friends from uni........
    ARGH! What shall I do? Do I pull out of the au pair thing and stay in England or just go and be without my bf for 2 months....?
    Thanks for reading, sorry it's long.
    I'm really sorry if this isn't the simple answer you were expecting, but you really just have to spend time thinking about the relative costs and benefits of goind abroad and staying at home. Only you know what these are and the valuations you place on them. But don't worry too much if you think it's a really close call/ you'll make a mistake, I'm sure you'll have a great time what ever you decide. best wishes
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    I think I would go to Italy. You may have misgivings about going (which is perfectly understandable) but I suspect that you'll end up having a great time, improving your language skills and meeting new people. The boyfriend thing is hard (I had to spend a year in France as part of my degree, while my boyfriend was still back in the UK, so we didn't get to see much of each other that year - and we're still together now), but if your relationship is strong it won't affect it. Perhaps your boyfriend could come and see you in Italy?

    Good luck with your decision - it's not easy but I'm sure whatever you decide will be fine!

 
 
 
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