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How can I find my brother a girlfriend?

First of all, those thinking mind your own business: it's for his own good.

My brother is very soon to be 30. He still lives at home with mum & dad, and spends his evenings in his bedroom playing world of warcraft.

He's never had a girlfriend; he went through school, did his A-levels, had hoped to join the forces, that never happened and he's been stuck in relatively dead-end jobs since. He got made redundant in January and 2-3 months ago found a job that could have decent prospects in the long run. Grand.

But he has no confidence. Like I said, he sits at home all night playing WoW and one friday night in a month he'll play poker with his old workmates. He doesn't go anywhere 'social' so won't find anyone of the opposite sex there, and the people he works with are predominantly male.

I want to find him a girlfriend for 2 reasons - firstly so he's not at home with mam & dad for the rest of his life, and 2 because he's a nice bloke - genuine, caring, intelligent etc, but so shy.

I was thinking of getting him to sign up to an online dating site, but we're not close and I don't know how to even approach it. I know that this can work for him(online dating).

Any ideas/suggestions?

Thanks. :smile:

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

RightSaidJames

Take him out with your friendship group?

Reply 2

Waffles

I'm miles from 'home', my friendship group consists of my girlfriend (I don't want/need anyone else).

It just seems so sad that such a nice bloke is still at home at 30.

Reply 3

kat2pult

You should definitely talk to him about this before you do anything, but you sign him up to some dating sites (with his permission), or let him try speed dating to help his confidence? Or even some adult dancing/drama groups.

Reply 4

cpj1987

Meh, if it were me I'd leave him to it.

It's likely that he's happy with his life. Otherwise, he'd be taking steps to change it. If he's not happy, he has to make those steps alone.

Reply 5

Dream Weaver

take him out to a bar and try and meet people. Alcohol = confidence.

Reply 6

LaughingBro

having a girl is not that important!

Reply 7

Rocious

is he actually unhappy or do you just disapprove of his lifestyle?

i mean if i had a boyfriend and no other friends i'd feel awful but i don't think the way you live your life is 'wrong' and you need to fix it. :/

Reply 8

Nashy19

What's important is being friends with a WoW boxer!

Reply 9

jakemittle

Erm
well, why?...do you think you know what he wants in a girl? And do you even think he wants a girl?...just live him be and he will find someone in his own time.

Reply 10

RightSaidJames

Waffles

I'm miles from 'home', my friendship group consists of my girlfriend (I don't want/need anyone else).

It just seems so sad that such a nice bloke is still at home at 30.

See some people would argue that you were strange when your only friend was your girlfriend. Swings and roundabouts. By all means talk to him about it, offer to help, but don't prejudge him. Having a partner isn't everything.

Reply 11

Baz1990

you should keep your nose out of things that don't concern you, it is up to him what he does.

Reply 12

A.R.E

Have you tried the high street?

Reply 13

Smack

Volunteer Team

LaughingBro

having a girl is not that important!

RighSaidJames

Having a partner isn't everything.

I think you're slightly missing the point: he's 30 and still hasn't had a partner. We're not talking about someone in his late teens here.

OP: have you ever considered that your brother might be gay or asexual?

Reply 14

Ink

Log into his account and use it to /whisper to some hot female elves. Ooh baby.

Seriously though, isn't there some kind of WoW dating website by now? Those games can wreck peoples' lives, and honestly, not a lot of "normal" non-gaming women want to put up with a guy who works two jobs - his apparently dead end real-life one, and his time-consuming online game full of obligations and timesinks of every sort. What if your romantic dinners had to be postponed to Monday nights because your boyfriend had to raid with his guild all weekend? Not cool.

If you think he needs to make lifestyle changes, maybe you should start by talking to him about what his goals are in life, and how he wants to accomplish them. Encourage him to action towards change for himself.

Reply 15

Arol

"I'm miles from 'home', my friendship group consists of my girlfriend (I don't want/need anyone else)."

Key point here. I don't think it's unreasonable to possibly extend this belief to your brother as well. Maybe he doesn't want/need anyone else either?

Reply 16

LaughingBro

^ eventhough he's 30, having a girlfriend doesn't automatically make him a 'better' person.

Reply 17

ANM775

start hinting to him

like buy him a copy of "the game" for Xmas

Reply 18

Smack

Volunteer Team

LaughingBro

^ eventhough he's 30, having a girlfriend doesn't automatically make him a 'better' person.

It will likely have positive effects on his mental health ... and probably even physical health (maintaining a regular sex lift is very good for one's health). I mean, he's 30 for god's sake!

Reply 19

Waffles

First of all, I often think he's depressed - he rarely smiles, and never comes across as happy. I know he's straight and not gay/asexual because of the amount of porn I've found (I don't go routing; I borrowed what I presumed to be a blank DVD from a spindle on his desk. 4gb of porn).

I have no friends because I was ill when younger, which meant I never saw any of my school friends. This has carried on until now, and I'm not one to go drinking etc so I've been a bit of a loner for years (I met my girlfriend online, that's how I know it works). I know he wants a girlfriend; he was really into a girl he used to work with. She didn't feel the same way.

He's stuck in a vicious circle of shyness and WoW. WoW gives him some sort of social interaction, which in turn keeps him indoors, thus not helping his shyness.

I just want what's best for him, because like I said I know he wants a girlfriend. I also feel sorry for mam & dad as I'm guessing they didn't want their eldest son to still be at home aged 30.