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How can I find my brother a girlfriend?
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Reply 20
Smack
I think you're slightly missing the point: he's 30 and still hasn't had a partner. We're not talking about someone in his late teens here.
OP: have you ever considered that your brother might be gay or asexual?
OP: have you ever considered that your brother might be gay or asexual?
My uncle is 54 and has been a bachelor for most of his life. No one looks down on him or thinks he's less of a person just because he doesn't have a partner.
miniteen
I think he might need game detox. It exists, and from what you're saying I'm wondering if he's not addicted to the comp...
It wouldn't surprise me. I went home for a weekend and wanted to use the internet. He'd (for whatever reason) got rid of the wired router that used to be there and got a wireless one which needed my laptop's MAC address to allow me access. I asked him about 2 in the afternoon, he finally set it up the next morning - each time I went in he was on WoW.
@James - I wouldn't be concerned if it was through choice, but he's never had a partner, so I'm highly doubting he's ever had a sexual partner. Some people choose to go that way, I understand that, but I know he wants somebody.
Waffles
It wouldn't surprise me. I went home for a weekend and wanted to use the internet. He'd (for whatever reason) got rid of the wired router that used to be there and got a wireless one which needed my laptop's MAC address to allow me access. I asked him about 2 in the afternoon, he finally set it up the next morning - each time I went in he was on WoW.
@James - I wouldn't be concerned if it was through choice, but he's never had a partner, so I'm highly doubting he's ever had a sexual partner. Some people choose to go that way, I understand that, but I know he wants somebody.
@James - I wouldn't be concerned if it was through choice, but he's never had a partner, so I'm highly doubting he's ever had a sexual partner. Some people choose to go that way, I understand that, but I know he wants somebody.
Why not first go consult someone before trying to bring someone else in the equation? It'll just bring more problems in my opinion.
Reply 26
Waffles
It wouldn't surprise me. I went home for a weekend and wanted to use the internet. He'd (for whatever reason) got rid of the wired router that used to be there and got a wireless one which needed my laptop's MAC address to allow me access. I asked him about 2 in the afternoon, he finally set it up the next morning - each time I went in he was on WoW.
@James - I wouldn't be concerned if it was through choice, but he's never had a partner, so I'm highly doubting he's ever had a sexual partner. Some people choose to go that way, I understand that, but I know he wants somebody.
@James - I wouldn't be concerned if it was through choice, but he's never had a partner, so I'm highly doubting he's ever had a sexual partner. Some people choose to go that way, I understand that, but I know he wants somebody.
Yes, but he obviously enjoys playing WoW. So yes he may be a geek, etc..but if he enjoys it..he enjoys it :P
Hes never had a partner, i think that you dont need to have a partner to be happy. Lets assume that hes not happy with his life, he doesnt have a stable job etc...dont you think those are more important than finding a girlfriend for him?...
You know he wants somebody, thats great..but you dont know what he wants in somebody, and you dont know if he wants to to find that somebody...so talk to him, and if he wants you to..go nuts.
Waffles
I don't quite understand what you mean...?
You MUST get him off his computer before you get him a gf. Some people are addicted to sites, to the internet, to games etc. There are detox centers for these peoples. You should think of having him consult someone, try to get rid of his addiction before he properly tries to find someone.
Very few women in any case will want someone addicted to their computer. She will be demanding, won't get him off the computer, she'll complain and then dump him. He'll get depressed and get even more into his computer (worst case scenario.)
Reply 28
I don't really think it's your job, to be honest. I have a brother who's in a similar situation (minus the World of Warcraft bit) and he'll be fine by himself. Matchmaking tends to get really awkward and, whilst you have good intentions at heart, it makes them feel as if they look evidently desperate.
Reply 29
kick start him a bit by forcing him to go out a bit more
Reply 30
Smack
Did he still live at home when he was 30?
No, but like I said having a partner isn't everything. The OP's brother clearly needs to move out first, get a social life, then maybe think about getting a girlfriend afterwards.
Antipannenkoek
kick start him a bit by forcing him to go out a bit more
How? I'm 50-odd mile away. I don't know how to approach the situation given that we're not at all close (used to be, he became jealous & petty when I started going out with my girlfriend). Obviously I can talk to him, but we don't have the closeness we used to have.
RightSaidJames
No, but like I said having a partner isn't everything. The OP's brother clearly needs to move out first, get a social life, then maybe think about getting a girlfriend afterwards.
At the minute he's on 15k/year. It'd be a bit of a struggle for him, but if he wanted to he could afford to - he has no kids, mortgage etc (if he rented). I think he just sees staying at home as the easy option, because he has no 'reason' to move out.
Reply 33
sign him up to that gamer dating service. i'm sure he'll find a WoW playing chick who can go level and raid with him weekly hot 
Waffles
First of all, those thinking mind your own business: it's for his own good.
My brother is very soon to be 30. He still lives at home with mum & dad, and spends his evenings in his bedroom playing world of warcraft.
He's never had a girlfriend; he went through school, did his A-levels, had hoped to join the forces, that never happened and he's been stuck in relatively dead-end jobs since. He got made redundant in January and 2-3 months ago found a job that could have decent prospects in the long run. Grand.
But he has no confidence. Like I said, he sits at home all night playing WoW and one friday night in a month he'll play poker with his old workmates. He doesn't go anywhere 'social' so won't find anyone of the opposite sex there, and the people he works with are predominantly male.
I want to find him a girlfriend for 2 reasons - firstly so he's not at home with mam & dad for the rest of his life, and 2 because he's a nice bloke - genuine, caring, intelligent etc, but so shy.
I was thinking of getting him to sign up to an online dating site, but we're not close and I don't know how to even approach it. I know that this can work for him(online dating).
Any ideas/suggestions?
Thanks.
My brother is very soon to be 30. He still lives at home with mum & dad, and spends his evenings in his bedroom playing world of warcraft.
He's never had a girlfriend; he went through school, did his A-levels, had hoped to join the forces, that never happened and he's been stuck in relatively dead-end jobs since. He got made redundant in January and 2-3 months ago found a job that could have decent prospects in the long run. Grand.
But he has no confidence. Like I said, he sits at home all night playing WoW and one friday night in a month he'll play poker with his old workmates. He doesn't go anywhere 'social' so won't find anyone of the opposite sex there, and the people he works with are predominantly male.
I want to find him a girlfriend for 2 reasons - firstly so he's not at home with mam & dad for the rest of his life, and 2 because he's a nice bloke - genuine, caring, intelligent etc, but so shy.
I was thinking of getting him to sign up to an online dating site, but we're not close and I don't know how to even approach it. I know that this can work for him(online dating).
Any ideas/suggestions?
Thanks.
I'm going to say exactly what you said in the first sentence: mind your own business. I wouldn't like my little sister to impose a love life on me even if I was miserable. He'll find a girlfriend in his own time if he wants one.
Reply 35
And how do you propose to find him a girlfriend? With your dazzling social skills that have helped you find a large group of friends? I think it would be highly hypocritical of you to try and help your brother out of a situation that he's clearly very comfortable with, it would be like the partially sighted trying to lead the blind.
Just because you're happy with a girlfriend doesn't mean he will be. You claim that you KNOW he wants a girlfriend but yet you're not that close? Seems a little strange to me.
In conclusion... leave him alone. He's 30. He's a big boy now. If he wants to find a girlfriend, he's big enough and socially stunted enough to find one online.
EDIT: Also, no one wants a depressed boyfriend who plays WoW religiously and lives at home with his parents. He can only help HIMSELF.
Just because you're happy with a girlfriend doesn't mean he will be. You claim that you KNOW he wants a girlfriend but yet you're not that close? Seems a little strange to me.
In conclusion... leave him alone. He's 30. He's a big boy now. If he wants to find a girlfriend, he's big enough and socially stunted enough to find one online.
EDIT: Also, no one wants a depressed boyfriend who plays WoW religiously and lives at home with his parents. He can only help HIMSELF.
Reply 36
Waffles
First of all, those thinking mind your own business: it's for his own good.
My brother is very soon to be 30. He still lives at home with mum & dad, and spends his evenings in his bedroom playing world of warcraft.
He's never had a girlfriend; he went through school, did his A-levels, had hoped to join the forces, that never happened and he's been stuck in relatively dead-end jobs since. He got made redundant in January and 2-3 months ago found a job that could have decent prospects in the long run. Grand.
But he has no confidence. Like I said, he sits at home all night playing WoW and one friday night in a month he'll play poker with his old workmates. He doesn't go anywhere 'social' so won't find anyone of the opposite sex there, and the people he works with are predominantly male.
I want to find him a girlfriend for 2 reasons - firstly so he's not at home with mam & dad for the rest of his life, and 2 because he's a nice bloke - genuine, caring, intelligent etc, but so shy.
I was thinking of getting him to sign up to an online dating site, but we're not close and I don't know how to even approach it. I know that this can work for him(online dating).
Any ideas/suggestions?
Thanks.
My brother is very soon to be 30. He still lives at home with mum & dad, and spends his evenings in his bedroom playing world of warcraft.
He's never had a girlfriend; he went through school, did his A-levels, had hoped to join the forces, that never happened and he's been stuck in relatively dead-end jobs since. He got made redundant in January and 2-3 months ago found a job that could have decent prospects in the long run. Grand.
But he has no confidence. Like I said, he sits at home all night playing WoW and one friday night in a month he'll play poker with his old workmates. He doesn't go anywhere 'social' so won't find anyone of the opposite sex there, and the people he works with are predominantly male.
I want to find him a girlfriend for 2 reasons - firstly so he's not at home with mam & dad for the rest of his life, and 2 because he's a nice bloke - genuine, caring, intelligent etc, but so shy.
I was thinking of getting him to sign up to an online dating site, but we're not close and I don't know how to even approach it. I know that this can work for him(online dating).
Any ideas/suggestions?
Thanks.
I have a mate EXACTLY like that (replace WoW with COD) and it doesn't matter how hard you try he has to do it on his own. You could try helping him by taking him out. BUT do not try and force him.
Reply 37
Waffles
How? I'm 50-odd mile away. I don't know how to approach the situation given that we're not at all close (used to be, he became jealous & petty when I started going out with my girlfriend). Obviously I can talk to him, but we don't have the closeness we used to have.
That sucks, but do you never come home for weekends sometimes or anything? You could talk to his mates or get him to go out with his mates more often, i don't really know though if you aren't that close maybe first you should try getting a bit closer again, talk to him about stuff on the phone or internet a bit more etc and after that you could try and get him out more.
Waffles
First of all, those thinking mind your own business: it's for his own good.
My brother is very soon to be 30. He still lives at home with mum & dad, and spends his evenings in his bedroom playing world of warcraft.
He's never had a girlfriend; he went through school, did his A-levels, had hoped to join the forces, that never happened and he's been stuck in relatively dead-end jobs since. He got made redundant in January and 2-3 months ago found a job that could have decent prospects in the long run. Grand.
But he has no confidence. Like I said, he sits at home all night playing WoW and one friday night in a month he'll play poker with his old workmates. He doesn't go anywhere 'social' so won't find anyone of the opposite sex there, and the people he works with are predominantly male.
I want to find him a girlfriend for 2 reasons - firstly so he's not at home with mam & dad for the rest of his life, and 2 because he's a nice bloke - genuine, caring, intelligent etc, but so shy.
I was thinking of getting him to sign up to an online dating site, but we're not close and I don't know how to even approach it. I know that this can work for him(online dating).
Any ideas/suggestions?
Thanks.
My brother is very soon to be 30. He still lives at home with mum & dad, and spends his evenings in his bedroom playing world of warcraft.
He's never had a girlfriend; he went through school, did his A-levels, had hoped to join the forces, that never happened and he's been stuck in relatively dead-end jobs since. He got made redundant in January and 2-3 months ago found a job that could have decent prospects in the long run. Grand.
But he has no confidence. Like I said, he sits at home all night playing WoW and one friday night in a month he'll play poker with his old workmates. He doesn't go anywhere 'social' so won't find anyone of the opposite sex there, and the people he works with are predominantly male.
I want to find him a girlfriend for 2 reasons - firstly so he's not at home with mam & dad for the rest of his life, and 2 because he's a nice bloke - genuine, caring, intelligent etc, but so shy.
I was thinking of getting him to sign up to an online dating site, but we're not close and I don't know how to even approach it. I know that this can work for him(online dating).
Any ideas/suggestions?
Thanks.
He can't be that nice if he wanted to join the army.
Reply 39
cpj1987
Meh, if it were me I'd leave him to it.
It's likely that he's happy with his life. Otherwise, he'd be taking steps to change it. If he's not happy, he has to make those steps alone.
It's likely that he's happy with his life. Otherwise, he'd be taking steps to change it. If he's not happy, he has to make those steps alone.
This
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