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Worried about parents (mum mostly) watch

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    I am really worried for my parents health. My dad is 5 foot 10 and weighs about 16stone and is classed as over weight to very overweight and my mum is 5 foot 5 and weighs about 18stone (even though I know she will never admit to it and doesn't know as she hasn't been on a pair of scales for ages) which is classified as morbidly obese .

    I'm so worried that I'm going to lose my ma if she doesn't do something about her weight as it most definatly killing her :bawling: . My dad is trying to do something about his weight but my ma's is getting worse as time goes by. I don't know what to do anymore.

    I've talked to my dad about it and he says that he's not stupid enough to say anything about it to ma as it just upsets her and she gets worse. I just think that she should realise that it is endangering her health and making me really concerned for her. I'm sure that my sister is worried for our ma aswell but I've not been able to see her for ages to ask.

    I keep saying that the family should go on some kind of a diet thinking that if we do it together that my ma won't feel alone when she's doing it. However my ma just says she's tryed before and it didn't work and doesn't let me say any more on the matter .

    Does anyone have any suggestions to help me? I'm running out of ideas and time to save my ma .
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    That's awful. Have you tried asking your GP? They could give you some advice, maybe some facts to throw her way. My dad was obese a few years ago and he became diabetic, but now he's lost quite a lot of weight. However, he'll always be diabetic. Perhaps you could take the direct route and just tell your mum that she's going to have health problems. It might upset her in the short term but sometimes an honest word can kickstart people into changing themselves.

    Also, could your dad, as he wants to be healthier, take a bit of control over the shopping? If he made it so that the kitchen was stocked with fruit and veg and wholemeal stuff then maybe your mum would find it easier to avoid temptation. Instead of going for short term diets she needs a lifestyle change and to just eat the good stuff and go for a few walks.
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    I think healthy meals, and even veggie meals taste the best by far! Taking control of the shopping and even cook a healthy meal yourself every now and again, show your family that healthy food is better tasting and healthier.

    You should very slowly and gradually get rid of the snack food in the house, crisps, chocolate and biscuits. Just say things like I don't like them anymore, say it like you dislike the taste and not the fact that they are unhealthy. Parents usually buy snack food when their children are younger so that they "shut the hell up" If you gradually buy fruit your parents will soon start to realise that fruit tastes so much better, especially grapes... I love grapes but they don't last two seconds in our house.
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    Thanks sarah1987 I'll try to do all that :hugs: . I'm willing to do anything to help save my ma. I've been worried about her for ages but after finding out from my dad today how much ma is probably weighing in at I know I have to do something to help.
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    (Original post by Doom_and_Gloom)
    Thanks sarah1987 I'll try to do all that :hugs: . I'm willing to do anything to help save my ma. I've been worried about her for ages but after finding out from my dad today how much ma is probably weighing in at I know I have to do something to help.
    Good luck, hopefully it will be OK. Your support will make it easier for her to change herself! Just think positively and like The_Kangaroo said, get those healthy foods in, yum!
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    (Original post by The_Kangaroo)
    I think healthy meals, and even veggie meals taste the best by far! Taking control of the shopping and even cook a healthy meal yourself every now and again, show your family that healthy food is better tasting and healthier.

    You should very slowly and gradually get rid of the snack food in the house, crisps, chocolate and biscuits. Just say things like I don't like them anymore, say it like you dislike the taste and not the fact that they are unhealthy. Parents usually buy snack food when their children are younger so that they "shut the hell up" If you gradually buy fruit your parents will soon start to realise that fruit tastes so much better, especially grapes... I love grapes but they don't last two seconds in our house.
    I just said I would cook tonight but my ma said not to bother . My ma thinks that I don't eat enough but the thing is that she eats too much and is putting what I eat against what she eats.

    It's so anoying. She doesn't just eat too much but it's mostly junk aswell. My ma seems to eat whenever she is bored which deosn't help her. I don't know how many take outs my parents have a week but I know it's too many.

    Everything I say doesn't seem to help the matter. I don't even like eating the junk in this house. Half the time I don't and my ma says have you eaten today? I keep saying we need more fruit and veg but she doesn't get alot of it if she even does.

    There is so much tinned/prossesed food in this house that it's disgusting. Even when I try and cook a healthy meal most of it is prossesed crap. I blame advertisements that make it look that junk is ok :mad: . Those kind of ads should be banned. It's not just children they effect. They brainwash adults aswell and the adults are supposed to set the example.
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    (Original post by Doom_and_Gloom)
    There is so much tinned/prossesed food in this house that it's disgusting. Even when I try and cook a healthy meal most of it is prossesed crap. I blame advertisements that make it look that junk is ok :mad: . Those kind of ads should be banned. It's not just children they effect. They brainwash adults aswell and the adults are supposed to set the example.
    Yeah I know, adverts are a big prob I reckon. It's really hard to try and convince someone that the adverts are practically lying to them to make them buy the rubbish. Especially McDonalds! Their salads are terrible! Did you watch Jamie's School Dinners? You should show your mum the bit where he makes a chicken nugget - all the fat and guts in the food processor - absolutely disgusting.

    Anyways - as for trying to cook healthy stuff - maybe you could try doing healthier versions of junk food. Like veggie sausages mmm, or make takeaway type food at home like curry or chinese. Then you can control the cooking methods (no frying!) and not add loads of salt and oil etc. Or even just try the lower fat processed stuff from the supermarket.
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    (Original post by sarah1987)
    Yeah I know, adverts are a big prob I reckon. It's really hard to try and convince someone that the adverts are practically lying to them to make them buy the rubbish. Especially McDonalds! Their salads are terrible! Did you watch Jamie's School Dinners? You should show your mum the bit where he makes a chicken nugget - all the fat and guts in the food processor - absolutely disgusting.

    Anyways - as for trying to cook healthy stuff - maybe you could try doing healthier versions of junk food. Like veggie sausages mmm, or make takeaway type food at home like curry or chinese. Then you can control the cooking methods (no frying!) and not add loads of salt and oil etc. Or even just try the lower fat processed stuff from the supermarket.
    My ma actually watched Jamie's School Dinners. I was next to her saying how right he was about all the junk and that it's not just at school it should change but also at home. She didn't seem to realise that I was hinting OUR home to.

    The nuggets bit nearly made me sick. I'm glad I don't eat that crap anymore. I really don't know how anyone can eat that stuff. Its a load of junk that your body can't even proces and people are giving that to children without even thinking about it :eek:. This world gets worse everyday I swear .
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    The thing is though, you are the child, not the parent - you will leave home one day and they will be on their own again. I think you should tell your doctor and obviously try and talk to your parents again in a non-threatening/confrontational way. But you have to remember - you are your own person - and I know it's hard - but it is not your duty to look after them.
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    If she starts playing sports,like signing in a gym she wont feel the tierdness and at the same time she wouyld enjoy it,and she will tend to eat less because she is afraid she will subtitute the calories she has burnt
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    (Original post by habosh)
    If she starts playing sports,like signing in a gym she wont feel the tierdness and at the same time she wouyld enjoy it,and she will tend to eat less because she is afraid she will subtitute the calories she has burnt
    That is a good idea but I just can't see that happening though as she uses the car to go round the corner to get a takeaway. It would take her all of 5 mins more to walk it but she will always get in the car .
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    Does your Mam had a job? If she does maybe offer to make her a packed lunch, and sneak in some brown bread or something else healthier and make it really nice so she doesn't notice its healthy.

    If she doesn't have a job why not help her either find one, but if not try and get her to do voluntary work. It might keep her occupied as most people eat more when they're bored. Also she will find it very rewarding, and if she's raising money for charity for example, it may improver her self esteem which might make her look twice and start taking care of herself.

    I'm not sure what else you could do, other than be blunt with her, but I understand you don't want to upset her.

    Good luck :hugs: and I hope everything starts to get better. Maybe if you showed her this thread, it might hit her just how unhappy, worried and upset you are about this, and how it is negatively affecting her.
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    Okay I know this thread has been out of action for a while but I just wanted to update on the situation.

    I've managed to get more fruit and veg into this house which my dad appreciates , however my ma is still eating junk food more and more . I have taken it apon myself to write shopping lists for things we have needed not putting any junk on it, not even the biscuits that I useually ask for . My ma still manages to come back with more junk than healthy food and my list was very long so this is not good . She pointed out that she bought the biscuits even though I didn't ask for them. I have yet to touch the biscuits and I think she knows that because they are still there after 5 days of them being in this house :eek:. Not even my dad has gone for them :eek: which is even weirder but he is trying to lose weight so I am going to comend him on this .

    I'm finding it very difficult to get rid of the junk in this house. There is so much of it that I'm not sure what to do. I'm beginning to think that even if the people from "You are what you eat" were to come here my ma would not change .

    I'm going to continue to try and win this battle with my ma but if I can't do it I'm going to go as far as just telling her straight out that I don't want to lose her and I'm worried that she is killing herself .
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    i dont know why your feeling so down now...
    you said your dad hasnt touched much since you started to help. from where im sitting, you've already made a HUGE different to him your mum will come around slowly... you just need to make eating healthy more easier and more tastier for her...
    also it might not hurt to talk to her... she may be comfort eating... so that needs to be tackled before her diet
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    (Original post by sarforaz)
    i dont know why your feeling so down now...
    you said your dad hasnt touched much since you started to help. from where im sitting, you've already made a HUGE different to him your mum will come around slowly... you just need to make eating healthy more easier and more tastier for her...
    also it might not hurt to talk to her... she may be comfort eating... so that needs to be tackled before her diet
    Well yes I am proud of my dad and I am really glad that he is making an improvement . It's just that I did this in the first place because of my ma, the whole try and inforce a diet thing on the house. Yet all the effort is going basically nowhere on my ma .

    My ma is really the one who needs to lose the weight. I don't know how she is able to do it. I felt like a heffer at 11.4 stone and really didn't want to be like that so I did something to change. So I really don't know how she can be around the 18 stone mark and not feel big or want to do something about it :confused: .

    Looking at my parents wedding photo is the reall shock. You would never know it's the same person. She was just a bit bigger than I am then (she was a size 12 acording to my dad and about 10 stone back when the picture was taken) :eek: . It is impossible to think that she used to be so skinny and yet the proof is in the picture that's on the mantle piece (yes I do realise that I cannot spell). I know I wont be able to get her to look like her in the picture (like that size) but I do think she could medically do herself justice by loseing at least a few stone. Maybe a word with our GP is a good idea.
 
 
 
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