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    I really need some advice. I have had a best mate for five years and we were so close, just always there and stuff and knew absolutely everything about it other and so on. Our friendship has always had its ups and downs and we argued like two sisters constanlty arguing and making up.... Anyway theres a bit of background

    On June 18th we were supposed to be going to Milton Keynes together to see Greenday it had been booked for absolutely months. The train tickets and everything, we'd been out on the friday night and said will meet you att he train station at 12 O'Clock and everything was fine both were excited. Then at 11:40 just as I was leaving for the station I got a phonecall from my mate, she said she had too many exams and she just didnt think she could go, she had too much revision, she wanted me to lie to my mum and dad and spend the day with her revising and say we'd been to the gig, but it was a birthday present from my parents and I couldnt do that, my conscience wouldn't let me, and I wouldnt lie anyway. So at this point I was absolutely gutted after 5 months of total planning and excitement 20 minutes before we were supposed to be on the train, shed let me down, its pathetic but I sobbed, it was too late to find anyone else to go on the ticket, and we'd missed the train anyway. I had to go round to her house to collect the tickets so I went round all blotchy eyed and in a bit of a messs really and said are you sure you don't know anyone who wants tyour ticket, your sister etc she confirmed no nobody wants the ticket. So I had the tickets at my house in the end and my sister and her friend decided theyd go, theyd misssed the train and would have had to have paid £100 to get on the 5 oclock train, so my dad drove them from wolverhampton to milton keynes, anyway this was all fine, theyd missed half of greenday anyway and all the support bands. Until the next day my friend turned around and said my parents want the money off your sisters friend for my ticket cos my sister couldve gone, shocked she is so rich her dad easily turns over £150 k each year and I was stunned when she asked, and then she said I wouldnt expect you or your pathetic family to understand,you dont get it and so on, and was being really nasty saying my family wanted me to fail my exams and i got a message saying expect that my dad will call you 2morro and i was upset and a bit scared actually so I showed my parents, anyway my mom foned her mum to discuss it and her mum said I am *********ing pathetic and slammed the phone down. Since then I have tried to speak to my friend and stuff and last thursday it was fine, but then friday she blanked me and then last night she just kicked off and said she never wants to speak to me ever again, she doesnt feel anything for me but hate, and she finds it easy to hate me, we've been best friends for over five years, I just felt my heart had been ripped out, and I was devastated cos I knew she meant it, we hang around in the same 7 and are all supposed to be going to birthday parties and even on holiday together in two weeks as a seven, and I just really dont know what to do or feel, I am 18 have just finished my alevels on monday and I feel so low, could anybody please give me some adivce, even it is just pull yourself together or...if youve managed to read this far, congratulations and im sorry for boring you. Thanks a lot for any replies. Lauraxxx
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    judging by this post, this doesn't sound like a mate. she waas bang out of order for treating you like that- it was supposed to be YOUR birhday treat. it could have just been stress over exams though.

    the question you have to ask yourself is, what do you want? do you want to stay friends with someone like this, or do you want to throw away 5years of a great friendhsip. the decision is tough but only you can make it.

    act on your instincts and i'm sure you will feel ok with your choice xxx
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    You're better off without her
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    (Original post by *starry_eyed_*)
    judging by this post, this doesn't sound like a mate. she waas bang out of order for treating you like that- it was supposed to be YOUR birhday treat. it could have just been stress over exams though.

    the question you have to ask yourself is, what do you want? do you want to stay friends with someone like this, or do you want to throw away 5years of a great friendhsip. the decision is tough but only you can make it.

    act on your instincts and i'm sure you will feel ok with your choice xxx
    Its just like when someone tells you as she had told me before, that she finds it easy to hate you, and you look up to them a love them a lot, you just want them to love you, and they have this instant hold over you and you constantly think like, why do you hat me so much, and it turns into paranoia, thanks a lot for adivce though. means a lot.Lauraxxx
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    At the beginning of college (i'm the same age as you), my best friend started hating me for no real reason whatsover, again, had been best friends for 5 years. I was unlucky, she turned all my friends against me and i had to make new friends, which was so hard as people in college still have their old friends from secondary school who they still see all the time. But i just had to try and make friends, and i have had a pretty rough 2 years when it comes to my own friends, i've only really had my boyfriends friends.

    But hopefully that will NOT happen to you. Maybe it will help if you tell your other friends that you are worried about the holiday, and the whole of the summer with this friend who seems to dislike you. See if they can find out why she has changed all of a sudden. Try not to let little things get to you that she may do on holiday, as you want to enjoy yourself. Something must have happened to have changed her, so you should try and find out what and why, either by asking her outright when you are alone together, or getting friends to do it.

    Hope all works out for you, and that you have a great holiday.
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    (Original post by strawberries)
    Its just like when someone tells you as she had told me before, that she finds it easy to hate you, and you look up to them a love them a lot, you just want them to love you, and they have this instant hold over you and you constantly think like, why do you hat me so much, and it turns into paranoia, thanks a lot for adivce though. means a lot.Lauraxxx
    its a cruel world hun but by the sounds of things, you'll be ok. stay confident about yourself and you'll how good a person you are, with or without her!
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    hmm maybe its the time of yr for there to be alot of tension between best friends..I'm not alone! Can i ask, are you both going separate ways this year - different unis? or moving on in anyway?
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    Unless there's something you're not telling us, then she was sooo unjustified in treating you like that. She completely messed you around and I can't see why she'd suddenly do a U-turn like that and start being horrible to you! :confused:

    I think you should be happy you had a good friendship for that time, but cut your losses.. you're going to make great friends at uni
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    It sounds to me like theres some kind of reason behind it all that she has so suddenly gone off you like this seems really crazy. Perhaps she thinks you have done something that you havent or something like that? I couldnt say but it could be someone pspreading bad rumours about you.

    I wouldnt liketo judge her but it could be a complete sort of exam nerves that started it off and she just went off on one, and you happened to be in her warpath You should try n ask her outright why she is so angry with you.
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    (Original post by ladydeborah)
    At the beginning of college (i'm the same age as you), my best friend started hating me for no real reason whatsover, again, had been best friends for 5 years. I was unlucky, she turned all my friends against me and i had to make new friends, which was so hard as people in college still have their old friends from secondary school who they still see all the time. But i just had to try and make friends, and i have had a pretty rough 2 years when it comes to my own friends, i've only really had my boyfriends friends.

    But hopefully that will NOT happen to you. Maybe it will help if you tell your other friends that you are worried about the holiday, and the whole of the summer with this friend who seems to dislike you. See if they can find out why she has changed all of a sudden. Try not to let little things get to you that she may do on holiday, as you want to enjoy yourself. Something must have happened to have changed her, so you should try and find out what and why, either by asking her outright when you are alone together, or getting friends to do it.

    Hope all works out for you, and that you have a great holiday.
    Thank you so much thats so supportive, i asked if if we could meet this week, even if it was just to say you know goodbye and to answer each others questions just a drink or even a phone call, she pushed me away and said she didnt want to look at me. I konw i should let go, but things are so much easier said than done. Lauraxx
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    (Original post by strawberries)
    I really need some advice. I have had a best mate for five years and we were so close, just always there and stuff and knew absolutely everything about it other and so on. Our friendship has always had its ups and downs and we argued like two sisters constanlty arguing and making up.... Anyway theres a bit of background

    On June 18th we were supposed to be going to Milton Keynes together to see Greenday it had been booked for absolutely months. The train tickets and everything, we'd been out on the friday night and said will meet you att he train station at 12 O'Clock and everything was fine both were excited. Then at 11:40 just as I was leaving for the station I got a phonecall from my mate, she said she had too many exams and she just didnt think she could go, she had too much revision, she wanted me to lie to my mum and dad and spend the day with her revising and say we'd been to the gig, but it was a birthday present from my parents and I couldnt do that, my conscience wouldn't let me, and I wouldnt lie anyway. So at this point I was absolutely gutted after 5 months of total planning and excitement 20 minutes before we were supposed to be on the train, shed let me down, its pathetic but I sobbed, it was too late to find anyone else to go on the ticket, and we'd missed the train anyway. I had to go round to her house to collect the tickets so I went round all blotchy eyed and in a bit of a messs really and said are you sure you don't know anyone who wants tyour ticket, your sister etc she confirmed no nobody wants the ticket. So I had the tickets at my house in the end and my sister and her friend decided theyd go, theyd misssed the train and would have had to have paid £100 to get on the 5 oclock train, so my dad drove them from wolverhampton to milton keynes, anyway this was all fine, theyd missed half of greenday anyway and all the support bands. Until the next day my friend turned around and said my parents want the money off your sisters friend for my ticket cos my sister couldve gone, shocked she is so rich her dad easily turns over £150 k each year and I was stunned when she asked, and then she said I wouldnt expect you or your pathetic family to understand,you dont get it and so on, and was being really nasty saying my family wanted me to fail my exams and i got a message saying expect that my dad will call you 2morro and i was upset and a bit scared actually so I showed my parents, anyway my mom foned her mum to discuss it and her mum said I am *********ing pathetic and slammed the phone down. Since then I have tried to speak to my friend and stuff and last thursday it was fine, but then friday she blanked me and then last night she just kicked off and said she never wants to speak to me ever again, she doesnt feel anything for me but hate, and she finds it easy to hate me, we've been best friends for over five years, I just felt my heart had been ripped out, and I was devastated cos I knew she meant it, we hang around in the same 7 and are all supposed to be going to birthday parties and even on holiday together in two weeks as a seven, and I just really dont know what to do or feel, I am 18 have just finished my alevels on monday and I feel so low, could anybody please give me some adivce, even it is just pull yourself together or...if youve managed to read this far, congratulations and im sorry for boring you. Thanks a lot for any replies. Lauraxxx

    *hugs*
    xox
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    (Original post by UpliftMof0)
    It sounds to me like theres some kind of reason behind it all that she has so suddenly gone off you like this seems really crazy. Perhaps she thinks you have done something that you havent or something like that? I couldnt say but it could be someone pspreading bad rumours about you.

    I wouldnt liketo judge her but it could be a complete sort of exam nerves that started it off and she just went off on one, and you happened to be in her warpath You should try n ask her outright why she is so angry with you.
    I know, it seems all so spontaneous, but for about the past three years she has had it in her, its like a spilt personality, but it only happens with me and her. her mum has it too, sometimes i think its like a mental illness other times I realsie its just hatred. Lauraxx
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    (Original post by carla18)
    hmm maybe its the time of yr for there to be alot of tension between best friends..I'm not alone! Can i ask, are you both going separate ways this year - different unis? or moving on in anyway?
    Yeh, bristol shes going and leeds im hopefully going, but I dont want it to end on such a sour note Lauraxx
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    (Original post by viscount)
    *hugs*
    xox
    Much needed! Thankyou!xx
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    (Original post by strawberries)
    Thank you so much thats so supportive, i asked if if we could meet this week, even if it was just to say you know goodbye and to answer each others questions just a drink or even a phone call, she pushed me away and said she didnt want to look at me. I konw i should let go, but things are so much easier said than done. Lauraxx
    It isn't easy to let go of friends you have had for so long at all, you have so many memories together and been through so much. There must be something making her act like this. Really use your other friends for what they are there for, let them see what is happening with this girl. Let them know of the situation.

    Are you going to University this September, as that is just a great chance to make new friends and move on.
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    Part of where she is going is where she came from.
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    Well, I'm really sad to hear you are feeling so low.

    But I'm sure you'll soon get over this experience. Do you think there's anything you've learned from this experience that you could take to you to Uni? If I were you I wouldn't rely too much on one or two friends, cos in a sence it makes you vunerable. Make sure you make loads of friends at uni. best wishes
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    (Original post by ladydeborah)
    It isn't easy to let go of friends you have had for so long at all, you have so many memories together and been through so much. There must be something making her act like this. Really use your other friends for what they are there for, let them see what is happening with this girl. Let them know of the situation.

    Are you going to University this September, as that is just a great chance to make new friends and move on.
    Thats the thing shes much cleverer than me, and there were four of us really close, and the four of us are part of the close 7 and the other two out of the friendship have been going round to her house since this happened and my name is like dirt in that house now, and these two best mates havent even heard my side of the story and I feel Im being judged, shes going to do literature and her way with words is just so you know, and even I did tell my story I think Ive been judged already I just Ive got so much emotion in me at the moment, because of this and the exams and i dont know which way to turn
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    Situations like this can really hlep you discover new friends. I know that when i had a simialr situation (friend passed away) it raelly brought me closer to other people who helped me out, and Think of it this way, gonig to university, everyone is going to be looking for new friends and such so you can look at it as a new beginning a chance to make friends without having that 'old school friend' that holds you back. OFten when going someplace new you'll find yourself talking about this person and that person and if you keep referring to someone as your 'best friend' it puts the new people trying to get close off. So that fact that you now have this opprtunity, a position to be filled is gonna be good for you in the lnog run. Its just another one of lifes little hiccups, just remember the fun times you had an appreciate them for what they were

    and have a lifetime supply of hugs from me

    xoxoxoxoxox
    xxxxxxxxxxxx
    oooooooooo
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    I mean i wouldve given her the £28 out of my own pocket if i had it but i dont, I will give it to her.. if its the last thing I do, I really wish our friendship didnt boil down to £28 I mean on the night of the prom shed forgotton her money i spent £15 on drinks for her that i'd saved for that night out, and I didnt want the money back...I just, dont know how to make it btter, even it s finished, i dont want to feel hated or depressed
 
 
 
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