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    Well I'm going away to uni and my friend is staying near home. Lately things have changed a lot between us! We were really close but now were not at all. We sorted it out a few weeks ago but i don't think things have improved much. She just says she thinks we won't stay in touch when I go to uni, and i will think am better than everyone and not want to know them?! This really does my head in!!! Why is it people think you go away and the second you leave the house you will forget about everyone and thing in your life. Do you think that she is being funny because your moving away?
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    (Original post by UpliftMof0)
    Situations like this can really hlep you discover new friends. I know that when i had a simialr situation (friend passed away) it raelly brought me closer to other people who helped me out, and Think of it this way, gonig to university, everyone is going to be looking for new friends and such so you can look at it as a new beginning a chance to make friends without having that 'old school friend' that holds you back. OFten when going someplace new you'll find yourself talking about this person and that person and if you keep referring to someone as your 'best friend' it puts the new people trying to get close off. So that fact that you now have this opprtunity, a position to be filled is gonna be good for you in the lnog run. Its just another one of lifes little hiccups, just remember the fun times you had an appreciate them for what they were

    and have a lifetime supply of hugs from me

    xoxoxoxoxox
    xxxxxxxxxxxx
    oooooooooo
    Brilliant pice of support and advice, **cries***, thankyou! Means so much
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    (Original post by strawberries)
    Thats the thing shes much cleverer than me, and there were four of us really close, and the four of us are part of the close 7 and the other two out of the friendship have been going round to her house since this happened and my name is like dirt in that house now, and these two best mates havent even heard my side of the story and I feel Im being judged, shes going to do literature and her way with words is just so you know, and even I did tell my story I think Ive been judged already I just Ive got so much emotion in me at the moment, because of this and the exams and i dont know which way to turn
    I know it must be horrible for you, especially with a whole summer ahead you. What about the other 2 from the group of 7, can you not talk to them? Even if just one friend listens to you, they can help sort this out. She may have a way with words, but half of them are probably rubbish, so you have the truth, and your friends will find out in time how manipulative and horrid this girl is.

    I'm guessing you are still going on this holiday? It will be hard with her there, especially as she is trying to turn your friends against you, but try to give them your side of the story. Ask them out for a drink, tell them that you are upset by what this girl has been saying. They will see you are upset, and if they are real friends, which they probably are, they will see something in you which is honest.

    I really hope you work things out before you go away. *hugs you*
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    (Original post by strawberries)
    Its just like when someone tells you as she had told me before, that she finds it easy to hate you, and you look up to them a love them a lot, you just want them to love you, and they have this instant hold over you and you constantly think like, why do you hat me so much, and it turns into paranoia, thanks a lot for adivce though. means a lot.Lauraxxx
    Have you tried talking to her, asking her just why is she being this way?

    And yeh the girl doesn't sound like a friend, much less a mate.

    I dunno for a while one of my good friends started being really nasty to me and then I talked to him (emailed him) and then he changed a bit.

    I dunno - all the best :hugs:
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    judging from what I've read i don't think thats a friend at all,ask her why she is acting like this.
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    can someone tell me how to quote plz thankyou
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    (Original post by irisng)
    Have you tried talking to her, asking her just why is she being this way?

    And yeh the girl doesn't sound like a friend, much less a mate.

    I dunno for a while one of my good friends started being really nasty to me and then I talked to him (emailed him) and then he changed a bit.

    I dunno - all the best :hugs:
    Yeh i've tried I asked her to meet, even if just to tie things up, she pushed me, this was last night and said i've done too much this time, i said i just want to know what i've done wrong and why you hate me so much and she just said **** off and get out of my life, I walked away and sobbed in the arms of another friend the only person who i have told this story. she is totally behind me and I know i have her support, but i feel like a leper, cos its like everyone this girl has a boyfriend and I was really good friends with him and his mates but theyre blanking me and being off with me too!
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    (Original post by strawberries)
    Brilliant pice of support and advice, **cries***, thankyou! Means so much
    Dont worry about it hun, just remember this:
    greenday are rubbish anyhow! lol no that was crude, I shouldnt have said that, Especially as i dont really mean it. I mean this isnt really dealing with the situation here but i think that how she decided to not go see greenday was really not fair at all, like 20 minutes before you're meant to be getting this train, she could have at least talked about it a few weeks earlier or something. If anything it should have been you who was getting miffed about the situation, she basically stood you up, and you wouldnt let a guy do that now would you? I truelly honestlyfeel sorry for you, 5 years is a long time and imagining one of my best friends doing that, it wouldnt feel great, thats for sure. I would definatly meet up with her, if even to just give the money back, but if you do, try and by completely un-bitter about the whole thing, dont say anything except to say heres your money, perhaps when she see's you walking away she'll realise what she has done. I find it terribly difficult to comprehend how people in general can be so cold-hearted as this. LOve goes out to you strawberries mwah.
    p.s. with a name as cute as that im sure you'll have plenty friends at uni (no i'm not suggesting its your real name, its just so damn nice n cute!)
    You also need to hook up with your friends (not involved with her) and go get wrecked! enjoy yourself and forget about her.
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    (Original post by UpliftMof0)
    Dont worry about it hun, just remember this:
    greenday are rubbish anyhow! lol no that was crude, I shouldnt have said that, Especially as i dont really mean it. I mean this isnt really dealing with the situation here but i think that how she decided to not go see greenday was really not fair at all, like 20 minutes before you're meant to be getting this train, she could have at least talked about it a few weeks earlier or something. If anything it should have been you who was getting miffed about the situation, she basically stood you up, and you wouldnt let a guy do that now would you? I truelly honestlyfeel sorry for you, 5 years is a long time and imagining one of my best friends doing that, it wouldnt feel great, thats for sure. I would definatly meet up with her, if even to just give the money back, but if you do, try and by completely un-bitter about the whole thing, dont say anything except to say heres your money, perhaps when she see's you walking away she'll realise what she has done. I find it terribly difficult to comprehend how people in general can be so cold-hearted as this. LOve goes out to you strawberries mwah.
    p.s. with a name as cute as that im sure you'll have plenty friends at uni (no i'm not suggesting its your real name, its just so damn nice n cute!)
    You also need to hook up with your friends (not involved with her) and go get wrecked! enjoy yourself and forget about her.
    I just wrote a massive long message and it iddnt work in reply to this! Your an absolute legend! youve really helped me tonight! Theres just one of thing my parents have her train ticket for the holiday and she hasnt piad for it... :confused: .. i dunno what to do! And the other thing is cos she let me down 20 minutes before the train its like she didnt want me to go either which is upsetting.Thanks for all the advice!Xxxxxxxxxxx
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    (Original post by carla18)
    Well I'm going away to uni and my friend is staying near home. Lately things have changed a lot between us! We were really close but now were not at all. We sorted it out a few weeks ago but i don't think things have improved much. She just says she thinks we won't stay in touch when I go to uni, and i will think am better than everyone and not want to know them?! This really does my head in!!! Why is it people think you go away and the second you leave the house you will forget about everyone and thing in your life. Do you think that she is being funny because your moving away?
    Shes going away too though.. so i dont think its that to be honest. I dunno, I dont bloody know anything at the minute.xx
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    Why are friends so complicated ?
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    (Original post by carla18)
    Why are friends so complicated ?
    I dont know but as the futureheads say "if you work it out tell me what you find"!! :rolleyes:
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    how do you qoute i want to do it hehe please some one tell me
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    (Original post by strawberries)
    I just wrote a massive long message and it iddnt work in reply to this! Your an absolute legend! youve really helped me tonight! Theres just one of thing my parents have her train ticket for the holiday and she hasnt piad for it... :confused: .. i dunno what to do! And the other thing is cos she let me down 20 minutes before the train its like she didnt want me to go either which is upsetting.Thanks for all the advice!Xxxxxxxxxxx
    The best thing to do is to just keep face, dont get all worked up about arguemnts or whatever. in fact, you owe her money for greenday ticket right? and she owes you for this train fare? just go to her house like how i said before, and just say something along the lines of:

    "look, i dont care about the money, lets just call it quits ok? let me say something though, all I care about is our friendship, you meant a lot to me, you really did and what you;re doing now is crushing me and I dont understand how or why you would do this to me, to us even. we had such a great thing going on."

    That is what i would definatly say, but depending on how she is reacting or obviously how you truelly feel you could continue saying:

    "but you know what? if this is what you want to do then go ahead and do it. Im going to university now and though i might feel sad about it now, Im stronger than you'll ever be, saying stuff about me and turning my friends against me, I dont need you. You can keep your 'new' friends, Im going to uni to start a fresh and i dont need you to hold me back"

    OR

    "I dont know why you are doing this to me but I just want you to stop it. Why do this now? I dont wnat to finish things on such bad terms, can we just forget all this and start afresh? Im sure that we can keep our friendship gonig at uni and even if we cant, at least lets put this behind us so we can enjoy our holiday together. ok? Look, if you dont want to be mates with me anymore than go ahead, but your destroying somehting that we have had for over 5 years, and I'll miss you. sure i'll get over it but im gonna miss the person you were not one month ago, I guess you've changed and its time for me to move on"

    Something like either of those would be quite poingiant in the eyes of your so called 'friend' I cant say I'm an expert in female pychology and relationships but im sure that bein the friend you are, you'll know which would strike a chord with her. I definatly thing that somethings are worth fighting for, perhaps this is the time to give up and run away but equally it could be a chance for you to fight for your relationship and make it stronger.

    Whatever you decide, Its all about making you who you are and whatever happens it'll work our in the end.
    xx
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    (Original post by carla18)
    how do you qoute i want to do it hehe please some one tell me
    I just click the reply thing in the box that theyd written in, it seems to work lol :confused: does that make any sense??
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    (Original post by carla18)
    how do you qoute i want to do it hehe please some one tell me
    just press the reply button next to someones post and it does it for you.
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    (Original post by strawberries)
    I just click the reply thing in the box that theyd written in, it seems to work lol :confused: does that make any sense??
    darn, i was too late :P
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    (Original post by UpliftMof0)
    The best thing to do is to just keep face, dont get all worked up about arguemnts or whatever. in fact, you owe her money for greenday ticket right? and she owes you for this train fare? just go to her house like how i said before, and just say something along the lines of:

    "look, i dont care about the money, lets just call it quits ok? let me say something though, all I care about is our friendship, you meant a lot to me, you really did and what you;re doing now is crushing me and I dont understand how or why you would do this to me, to us even. we had such a great thing going on."

    That is what i would definatly say, but depending on how she is reacting or obviously how you truelly feel you could continue saying:

    "but you know what? if this is what you want to do then go ahead and do it. Im going to university now and though i might feel sad about it now, Im stronger than you'll ever be, saying stuff about me and turning my friends against me, I dont need you. You can keep your 'new' friends, Im going to uni to start a fresh and i dont need you to hold me back"

    OR

    "I dont know why you are doing this to me but I just want you to stop it. Why do this now? I dont wnat to finish things on such bad terms, can we just forget all this and start afresh? Im sure that we can keep our friendship gonig at uni and even if we cant, at least lets put this behind us so we can enjoy our holiday together. ok? Look, if you dont want to be mates with me anymore than go ahead, but your destroying somehting that we have had for over 5 years, and I'll miss you. sure i'll get over it but im gonna miss the person you were not one month ago, I guess you've changed and its time for me to move on"

    Something like either of those would be quite poingiant in the eyes of your so called 'friend' I cant say I'm an expert in female pychology and relationships but im sure that bein the friend you are, you'll know which would strike a chord with her. I definatly thing that somethings are worth fighting for, perhaps this is the time to give up and run away but equally it could be a chance for you to fight for your relationship and make it stronger.

    Whatever you decide, Its all about making you who you are and whatever happens it'll work our in the end.
    xx
    WOW ok cool! I'm going to opt for the first one, its brilliant, Ill have to put it on some sort of cue card, my parents are really warapped up about the money cos of the way her parents handled it... So I'm going to pay them out of my own money..and pretend she paid it. Actually I'll take the ticket round and just say heres the ticket and then what you wrote above!! Thanks for all the help!what about if her mum and dad start getting into a slangingg match with me? I dont want that to happen. Laura xxx (well I wouldnt say wrapped up but there slightly pissed off, cos of the petrol cost from wolverhampton to milton keynes and whatever) and i;m gong to say all of the bit before OR..
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    Be the sensible one and walk away, then they will feel like such childish losers for getting invovled. Thats definatly the best thing to do. If you can be the sensible one and keep face throughout the situation you'll come out a better person for it, even if they dont realise and are stilll shouting at you as you walk away down the street, just think; what kind of person shouts in the street?
    answer? people who get asbo's! let her parents degenerate themselves into nothing more than hooligans if they want to. be the better person and just walk away from it all, walk away from that part of your life. GO for it Babe!
    Upliftmof0
    xx
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    ok guys thanks for that...wow that's pretty simple really lol
 
 
 
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