Turn on thread page Beta
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I broke up with my gf in march (or see dumped me rather), after going out for 18 months. I didnt look for a new relationship as i had a levels coming up and didnt want the distraction. Now i have come to the conclusion i may as well wait til sept, when i start uni, to find another gf, coz i just have to break it up when i go to uni.

    Anyway, this relationship was long distance and so we havent stayed in contact (and i didnt want to), but im stuck with loads photos and gifts of the 2 of us. I have like 100s photos on my computer and wasnt sure if i shud delete them or not. Im a bit confused I know it sounds a bit stupid, but what did u guys do when u finish with sum1? delete them from ur lives?

    She's also going same uni (soton) as me, if we get results and am not looking forward to meeting her again. gah!

    Thx in advance for advice etc etc
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Aww I am sorry to hear. It is always gonna be tough, at 18 months the relationship must have been bordering on looking serious. However, it is obvious the girl still means something to you, if not you wouldn't find it such a task disposing of all the gifts and pictures. If it makes it better for you, keep the gifts as a memory but dispose of most of the photo's.... everyone keeps at least one piccy of their ex . It will help you move on yet always remember the good times you had together.

    In response to going out with someone else, it is proably best to wait till Uni. However keep your options open. This was my plan but I met a great guy a month or so ago and now we are going out. You've done long distance before so you probably don't want to do it again which is what would happen if you started dating somebody in your local area and then had to move away to Uni. Just go with the flow. Don't rush into anything unless you are sure and you will be fine.

    As for results day, see it as a chance to show her you have moved on. Act confident and cool and she will realise you have moved on (even if you haven't).

    Good luck, and remember not to rush into anything. Give yourself time to get over your ex because otherwise your future relationships will be doomed.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Don't worry about meeting her, unis are generally large places and I rarely bump into people I've dated before at uni

    I have kept stuff from old boyfriends and things, but I keep the sentimental stuff tucked away. I know I'll want to see it one day when I'm a lot older, as it'll remind me of those years. As for now, my new relationship is what's in my life so I tend to keep my current boyfriend's photos and gifts around currently!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    It's totally up to you. With some boyfriends I managed to throw away a lot of stuff that with other boyfriends I would keep. I have a big box with everything that I've kept from all my boyfriends. Longer boyfriends have more things, as do those that mean more. When I split up with a boyfriend, the things I've kept go in the box, and I sort through the box to see what I have that no longer means anything. That's when I throw them away. I wouldn't delete the pics on your computer. Put them in a file of their own. I have sections by terms at uni (ie michaelmas, lent, etc) and there's a pre-uni file as well, which has a few pics of ex's. Sections at uni have pics of people I've dated and there's no way I'd delete them, because some of the memories are awesome. Best thing to do is to fill up the rest of your photo section with pics of you having fun with your friends.

    Don't worry about bumping into her. Just smile and say hello, ask how she is. If she ignores you or is rude, that's her problem and she should get over herself, but I'm sure she won't be like that.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Eek-A-Mouse)
    I broke up with my gf in march (or see dumped me rather), after going out for 18 months. I didnt look for a new relationship as i had a levels coming up and didnt want the distraction. Now i have come to the conclusion i may as well wait til sept, when i start uni, to find another gf, coz i just have to break it up when i go to uni.

    Anyway, this relationship was long distance and so we havent stayed in contact (and i didnt want to), but im stuck with loads photos and gifts of the 2 of us. I have like 100s photos on my computer and wasnt sure if i shud delete them or not. Im a bit confused I know it sounds a bit stupid, but what did u guys do when u finish with sum1? delete them from ur lives?

    She's also going same uni (soton) as me, if we get results and am not looking forward to meeting her again. gah!

    Thx in advance for advice etc etc
    I'm really sorry to hear that you broke up with your girlfriend. I personally wouldn't delete the pictures or dispose of the gifts. Despite the fact that you aren't together now, erasing all evidence of her would in my opinion be an attempt to "rewrite history", in a small way ofcourse. I'm sure you had some good times together, and regardless of how you feel about her now, noone can take that away from you.

    If it's not too personal to ask, why did you break up? It seems as though you had a fairly serious relationship (spanning 18 months etc.), and it seems a shame to throw it away. Is there anyway the two of you could get back together?

    If not, then I'm sure you'll find someone special at uni. Best wishes
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    When you come to Southampton they'll be lots of new people here. I went to school with one person doing a different course to me (didn't realise as we went to different colleges) and i've only seen him once since i've been here!

    Its hard when you break up with someone. I've just broken up with someone i was with for three years. We were going to get engaged, have kids, the whole shebang. I've still got pictures of us and gifts he gave me, and we're still in contact because he's taken it very very badly and cutting him off would be cruel although i'm trying to help him become more confident alone...We live 4 hours away so i know we won't bump into each other, but he was still a big part of my life and i couldn't imagine not having any memory of him in my life at all.

    Good luck in Southampton, maybe you'll bump into me!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    thanks for the useful advice guys, great help. I will do sum moving of pictures on my computer i think, but not into the recycle bin

    In answer to book's question, she dumped me coz she was bored of me. Thats y i have very mixed feelings about her rite now, but im not letting it bother me, honest!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I feel sorry for you mate.

    I am in a similar situation, me and my girlfriend split up in agreement with one another but since then I have realized that I love her too much. It hurts me to even think about her. This website helps in a way because other people are going through the same sort of pain.

    I personally have changed her name in my phone from 'tiger' to 'emma', moved her around in my msn thingy from 'my baby' to 'friends' and i have deleted all messages from her from when we were going out, they hurt me too much.

    I have mixed feelings for my ex too, sometimes i hate her, for various reasons. Sometimes i just want to be her friend, and sometimes i just want to be back together with her. Its hard.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    ye saw ur thread, but cudnt think of anything productive to post. She had her own group on msn, one of first i did was to move her to friends, then block her, then unblock her, then block, then unblock again.. lol
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Don't delete pictures of her or anything. One day you'll be able to look at them and smile
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Eek-A-Mouse)
    ye saw ur thread, but cudnt think of anything productive to post. She had her own group on msn, one of first i did was to move her to friends, then block her, then unblock her, then block, then unblock again.. lol
    Ha ha, poor you.

    Yeah I had a group dedicated to my gf, not anymore though, and it hasn't really helped getting over her.

    Does sleeping with someone else help you move on, has anyone had any experience of this. And what, apart from time, helped you move on?

    I have never been in this situation before, this was my first long term relationship.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Well I can't talk about SLEEPING with someone else... cos i'm a good little girl and i don't sleep around

    But I've found that the best way to get over someone once and for all is to fall in love with somebody else. I mean obviously I've always left it a few months til I've stopped 'thinking of them like that'. But... well you know that kind of aaaaargh gonna see my ex must look my best feeling? It only goes away when I find somebody else to be with

    Aaargh now i sound like a horrible rebound girl
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Get rid of everythin, and find yourself someone in uni who'll make you happy :cool:
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I'd get them off your computer, so you don't trip over them accidentally, maybe put them on a USB pen or something, box them up and put everything out of the way until you're well and truly over her. It's horrible not having things to remember people by, no matter how much they hurt you, and one day you'll be able to look at them and remember the good things without getting upset over the break-up.

    skevvybritt x
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by mankyscot2)
    Ha ha, poor you.

    Yeah I had a group dedicated to my gf, not anymore though, and it hasn't really helped getting over her.

    Does sleeping with someone else help you move on, has anyone had any experience of this. And what, apart from time, helped you move on?

    I have never been in this situation before, this was my first long term relationship.
    If i were you i wouldn't sleep with some one else soon after a break up. I've never done it myself but i do talk about these things with some of my mates. What i heard was basically if you do it too soon after a relationship in the same way that you would feel she has cheated on you, you will feel like your cheating on her. It won't make you feel any better, if anything it'll make you feel worse.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by mankyscot2)
    I feel sorry for you mate.

    I am in a similar situation, me and my girlfriend split up in agreement with one another but since then I have realized that I love her too much. It hurts me to even think about her. This website helps in a way because other people are going through the same sort of pain.

    I personally have changed her name in my phone from 'tiger' to 'emma', moved her around in my msn thingy from 'my baby' to 'friends' and i have deleted all messages from her from when we were going out, they hurt me too much.

    I have mixed feelings for my ex too, sometimes i hate her, for various reasons. Sometimes i just want to be her friend, and sometimes i just want to be back together with her. Its hard.
    Hey you and the guy who started the thread - don't worry you really do get over ex's! no amount of words will lessen your pain atm but it does go away. As unbelievable as that sounds, it really is true! When I was crying over my break up with my ex I remember thinking - will the pain ever go away? I even wrote a poem on will the regret ever go away. I didn't truly believe I'll ever move on even when it didn't hurt anymore. 6 months on - I'm totally over him now! (6 months is pretty long considering the relationship was only a month long due to religious reasons - the length had nothing to do with how serious it was - it was a serious relationship) But yeh - it takes time - but it's ok to take time

    :hugs: to you both.

    Wooo to the guy who started the thread - put all your photos in one folder and tuck it away somewhere. Don't delete them cus you may end up wishing you hadn't - only delete them when you're ready. Deleting stuff like that is harder than you think. And yeh wait til uni for a new relationship
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Difficult times !
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Bekaboo)
    Well I can't talk about SLEEPING with someone else... cos i'm a good little girl and i don't sleep around

    But I've found that the best way to get over someone once and for all is to fall in love with somebody else. I mean obviously I've always left it a few months til I've stopped 'thinking of them like that'. But... well you know that kind of aaaaargh gonna see my ex must look my best feeling? It only goes away when I find somebody else to be with

    Aaargh now i sound like a horrible rebound girl
    Not at all, I've always felt the same way.. when you're really into a new person, it's the most pleasurable way and fastest way to move on! Not that it's always readily available.. Wouldn't it be great if we all had a little personal queue of people we could fall in love with? Every time you get dumped, there'd be a fantastic replacement there just as you want them

    Although I've never had sex with someone as a rebound thing, I've had enough experience to know that just doing physical stuff with someone doesn't cure heartbreak or make you feel better at all.. there's got to be some kind of crush or romantic interest or falling in love there for it to work!
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Oh hell no I could never sleep with somebody on a rebound!! It's not the physical that makes you forget your ex it's the nice little things, the huggles and the little kisses and the knowing-that-somebody-loves-you that makes your ex appear rather insignificant
 
 
 
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 1, 2005

2,332

students online now

800,000+

Exam discussions

Find your exam discussion here

Poll
Should predicted grades be removed from the uni application process

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.