i need advice! [Who should i go out with?]

ok, so my life feels like it spiralling at the moment! my best friend, who i had a huge thing for about a year ago (when we first met) told me tonight that he has fancied me since day one, and that hes in love with me :confused:

this is despite him telling me at the time that he didnt feel anything more then friendship for me! he had gone through a pretty rough time so he said his head was messed up, but i cant help thinking he has been a bit selfish over the whole thing! i dont feel anything towards him anymore, other then friendship, because iv had to get over that and move on, so now im worried that this is going to affect our friendship.

Also, theres a guy i know, but hes got a girlfriend. hes told me he really likes me, and that him and his girlfriend are on-off, and the other week we kissed. but i saw them out together tonight and they are deffinatley on! but it didnt bother me as much as i thought it would, and now i think i would love a proper friendship with this guy, but i dont know how to go about it without coming accross as only wanting to spend time with him because i like him.

please could someone give me some advice!!! :frown:

Reply 1

pissface

northern_lass

ok, so my life feels like it spiralling at the moment! my best friend, who i had a huge thing for about a year ago (when we first met) told me tonight that he has fancied me since day one, and that hes in love with me :confused:

this is despite him telling me at the time that he didnt feel anything more then friendship for me! he had gone through a pretty rough time so he said his head was messed up, but i cant help thinking he has been a bit selfish over the whole thing! i dont feel anything towards him anymore, other then friendship, because iv had to get over that and move on, so now im worried that this is going to affect our friendship.

Also, theres a guy i know, but hes got a girlfriend. hes told me he really likes me, and that him and his girlfriend are on-off, and the other week we kissed. but i saw them out together tonight and they are deffinatley on! but it didnt bother me as much as i thought it would, and now i think i would love a proper friendship with this guy, but i dont know how to go about it without coming accross as only wanting to spend time with him because i like him.

please could someone give me some advice!!! :frown:

I know the first story all too well...happened to me just this week actually :rolleyes:

If you like him as only a friend, tell him so...just don't ruin what you've got in the process...

Reply 2

Mata

16

In all honesty, it probably *will* affect your friendship for a while. Expect him to be hurt, maybe angry, and maybe he'll avoid you for a while. That's normal: people don't like rejection. What you need to do is still be there for your friend, keep talking to him as a friend, and when he's ready to resume the frienship proper, be there for him. Just because its you that has rejected him, it doesn't mean that you can't counsel him about it.

With the second guy... honesty, probably. Tell him, "I know you have a girlfriend and I don't want to have anything to do with that. I'd just like to be mates, ok?" Perhaps make an effort to get to know the girlfriend, too, so that she doesn't see you as a threat.

Reply 3

northern_lass

OP

1

thankyou for your advice, my friend said hes going to ring me later on today, so we can have a chat later. as for the second guy, i think your right mata, i will have a chat with him too, not so sure about getting to know the girlfriend! but i could always make the effort!

Reply 4

musicbloke

17

forget the second guy, he's not important. The first guy, on the other hand, is. Talk things over with him. Your friendship will have changed (just as everything is in flux) but it ounds like he's worth the effort.

MB

Reply 5

Yeah

god just pick one of them otherwise you wont have anyone, if you liked this guy quit bitching and try and see him in the way you used to, if you like the other guy, try and be better than his girlfriend so he'll dump her for you, some times you have to be a bitch in this world to get ahead and this is one of those times.

Reply 6

IcE x

If he realy loves you then he will not let the "rejection" affect your friendship. At least I think so coz I'm talking from experience:
About a year ago I fancied this one girl so much that I came to realised that I was inlove with her. We were very good friends but then I decided to ask her out and she said no. Sure It hurt for a few hours but then I realised that I loved her so much to let it affect our friendship. We talked about it and the next weekend we were going out as usual - as good friends.

i need advice! [Who should i go out with?]

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