Turn on thread page Beta

what do you think? [sleeping with someone when you know they aren't single] watch

    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by need_money)
    I used to not give a damn. But after coming close to having the crap kicked out of me for it, i now wouldn't even consider it.
    coming from a 15 year old this comment is just wrong.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by mik1w)
    yes, but if a guy wants to cheat its his choice, and he should face the blame. If a girl cheated on me I wouldn't be angry with the guy (unless he was one of my best freinds in which case I would), but the girl.

    not his fault, hes just doing what most guys would want, sex, cant blame him if youve got a bad girlfriend
    Who says he has got a "bad girlfriend?" and if he has, why doesn't he break up with her? Just because guys want lots of sex doesn't make their sleeping around acceptable.

    All I was saying is, while the main fault lies with the guy for cheating, the girl he's cheating with is not entirely innocent - if you know someone's taken, they should be a no-go area. Some girls seem not to get this message though.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by random_dude_66)
    wot do you think im sleeping with a guy who i know has a g/f???
    I think it's wrong.

    Well you did ask me what I think! (well not me specifically lol) Anyway can you really trust a guy who's cheating on his own girlfriend? - if you like this guy can you really stand him being with another girl? What's the point, even if it's not wrong? And I hate hurting people - one of the things I hate most besides lying - if the guy is unhappy with his girlfriend - break up with her. Don't cheat on her. It's his fault and it's also your fault in this respect cus you both made a choice to do this - so when the girlfriend gets hurt you're both to blame, as far as I'm concerned.

    But anyway the fact that you're even asking what people think obviously shows you're not sure about it - so why do it?

    Yeh sorry but I'm very high on faithfulness and loyalty - call me old-fashioned but I definitely at the very least intend to be faithful to whoever I end up with and I certainly expect the same back from my future boyfriend.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Helenia)
    Who says he has got a "bad girlfriend?" and if he has, why doesn't he break up with her? Just because guys want lots of sex doesn't make their sleeping around acceptable.

    All I was saying is, while the main fault lies with the guy for cheating, the girl he's cheating with is not entirely innocent - if you know someone's taken, they should be a no-go area. Some girls seem not to get this message though.
    I dont agree with that
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by mik1w)
    I dont agree with that
    No? So it's ok for a girl (or a guy, if the situation is reversed) to flirt with and attempt to seduce someone, knowing their taken, and it's all their fault for not resisting?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    i may be wrong, but considering the name of the original poster, is this affair a homosexual one? If so the situation with the girlfriend may be a little more complicated than we are considering.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    i was in this position a while ago..thing is, i totally fell for the guy before i knew he had a gf. And by the time i knew, well, i was in too deep to really care.

    He split up with her three times for me, kept telling me he loved me and wanted me all to himself, but everytime he asked me out i said no! Because i figured if he wasn't faithful to her, what's to stop him from cheating on me too? So i just carried on 'seeing' him.

    Now i would never, ever, ever do anything with a guy who's taken. I've been in relationships before and they just always felt shallow so i didnt' really respect the commitment that can be involved...but now that i'm in love and know what it feels like to truly give your heart to someone and then be cheated on, i can tell you, i think it's disgusting.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    i've been with a guy who had a girlfriend, but i didn't find out about her til we'd got pretty close. we stayed "together" for a little while after but it soon fizzled out and i found a nice guy who didn't have a girlfriend - well he does now - me!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by grace)
    i was in this position a while ago..thing is, i totally fell for the guy before i knew he had a gf. And by the time i knew, well, i was in too deep to really care.

    He split up with her three times for me, kept telling me he loved me and wanted me all to himself, but everytime he asked me out i said no! Because i figured if he wasn't faithful to her, what's to stop him from cheating on me too? So i just carried on 'seeing' him.

    Now i would never, ever, ever do anything with a guy who's taken. I've been in relationships before and they just always felt shallow so i didnt' really respect the commitment that can be involved...but now that i'm in love and know what it feels like to truly give your heart to someone and then be cheated on, i can tell you, i think it's disgusting.
    Gracie :confused:
    You thought it would be better not to go out with the guy because you wouldn't want to go out with a guy who cheats on his girlfriend but it's ok to sleep with him?
    I'm never going to understand women...
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Originally Posted by mik1w
    yes, but if a guy wants to cheat its his choice, and he should face the blame. If a girl cheated on me I wouldn't be angry with the guy (unless he was one of my best freinds in which case I would), but the girl.

    not his fault, hes just doing what most guys would want, sex, cant blame him if youve got a bad girlfriend
    (Original post by Helenia)
    Who says he has got a "bad girlfriend?" and if he has, why doesn't he break up with her? Just because guys want lots of sex doesn't make their sleeping around acceptable.

    All I was saying is, while the main fault lies with the guy for cheating, the girl he's cheating with is not entirely innocent - if you know someone's taken, they should be a no-go area. Some girls seem not to get this message though.
    I think he was carrying on from his own hypothetical situation. Saying that it's not the fault of the guy who slept with his own girlfriend - it would be his girlfriend's fault as she is the one in a relationship.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SamTheMan)
    Gracie :confused:
    You thought it would be better not to go out with the guy because you wouldn't want to go out with a guy who cheats on his girlfriend but it's ok to sleep with him?
    I'm never going to understand women...
    She makes good sense, it's that whole "what they'll do with you, they'll do to you" thing.

    I've had experience with this, and it really isn't worth it. Last year I was chatted up my an older woman (22) who had a boyfriend. We got on really well, I was really attracted to her and she was quite dominant (being older) so I went along with it. I was also a virgin at the time, so wasn't really sure.

    Bottom line, you'll just end up getting hurt. We ended up sleeping together, but I began to realise that she actually did have a boyfriend - and it doesn't matter how much she says that it might be coming to an end or whatever, at that time she was attached. The worst thing was when she took me around cambridge (she went there, i was applying) and we met some of her and her bf's mutual friends. I began to feel incredibly guilty.

    In the end, she went of to Greece, screwed someone else, told me about it, stopped calling and went back to the bf. Which was a bad turn of events. Nothing good can come of it, you'll just get hurt. I wouldn't get involved with someone in a relationship after that.

    There is another alternative. When my dad met my mum, she had a boyfriend. He met up with her a few times. Finally, my mum asked him if he wanted to go out with her, and he said "you have a boyfriend". She said "not any more", and by the next day it was true! If someone likes you enough and wants to go out with you, tell them straight that you want them to split up with their partner. If they won't, move on.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jd27)
    She makes good sense, it's that whole "what they'll do with you, they'll do to you" thing.

    I've had experience with this, and it really isn't worth it. Last year I was chatted up my an older woman (22) who had a boyfriend. We got on really well, I was really attracted to her and she was quite dominant (being older) so I went along with it. I was also a virgin at the time, so wasn't really sure.

    Bottom line, you'll just end up getting hurt. We ended up sleeping together, but I began to realise that she actually did have a boyfriend - and it doesn't matter how much she says that it might be coming to an end or whatever, at that time she was attached. The worst thing was when she took me around cambridge (she went there, i was applying) and we met some of her and her bf's mutual friends. I began to feel incredibly guilty.

    In the end, she went of to Greece, screwed someone else, told me about it, stopped calling and went back to the bf. Which was a bad turn of events. Nothing good can come of it, you'll just get hurt. I wouldn't get involved with someone in a relationship after that.

    There is another alternative. When my dad met my mum, she had a boyfriend. He met up with her a few times. Finally, my mum asked him if he wanted to go out with her, and he said "you have a boyfriend". She said "not any more", and by the next day it was true! If someone likes you enough and wants to go out with you, tell them straight that you want them to split up with their partner. If they won't, move on.
    Hey jd...

    Well you slept with her and admit it was a mistake. Grace said she didn't want to go out with him in case he cheated on her so she slept with him.
    The first thing is she's basically rewarding *******s like that and secondly, most people would still become emotionally attached and get hurt.

    Being cheated on when someone is your girlfriend/boyfriend is a social thing: it's something you have to deal with socially and emotionally, whereas the only advantage of only sleeping with someone is that no matter who else they're screwing, they're not "officially" cheating on you so there's no social aspect to deal with but you can still get very hurt! It's not just by making things official and deciding to "officially" go out with someone that you allow emotions to develop. Going out is just a social institution, a bit like marriage. If you avoid going out with them, you're not preventing feelings from developing

    That was my point...

    and I've met several girls with grace's reasoning which worries me...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SamTheMan)
    Hey jd...

    Well you slept with her and admit it was a mistake. Grace said she didn't want to go out with him in case he cheated on her so she slept with him.
    The first thing is she's basically rewarding *******s like that and secondly, most people would still become emotionally attached and get hurt.

    Being cheated on when someone is your girlfriend/boyfriend is a social thing: it's something you have to deal with socially and emotionally, whereas the only advantage of only sleeping with someone is that no matter who else they're screwing, they're not "officially" cheatting on you so there's no social aspect to deal with but you can still get very hurt!

    That was my point...

    and I've met several girls with grace's reasoning which worries me...
    I understand. It's still good sense not to go out with someone you know would cheat (although i doubt it would stop me), but you're right, sleeping with them isn't the best idea.

    and hey! :itsme:
 
 
 
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 1, 2005
Poll
Should predicted grades be removed from the uni application process

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.