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LPK's How To Avoid Boredom Guide! watch

    • Thread Starter

    Got a link or joke you want adding? Click here to get it added!

    Okay, mods do not accept boredom threads on TSR. So, instead of making 1, just read this and see if anything interests you. Below you will find a list of sites which you can mess around on and amuse yourself with. But, remember, make sure you have done all your homework, house chores and revision, i will not be blamed for distracting you :p: So, let the anti-boredom challenge begin:

    Dark Future: Dark future is a website were you can become a gangster. You can join gangs, commit crimes, loads of stuff gangsters do, including buy and sell drugs. Once you join Dark future, you get a safety bar, which means you cannot be killed by other players for at least 24 hours. After 24 hours you will get new columns, them columns will allow you to kill people and make there account terminated, which means they will need to start again. The better you play the game, the better gangster you get. You can also buy vehicles, weapons and armor.

    Runescape: Runescape is an online adventure game. You make your own character then control where he goes, what he does, and how he does it. You can do missions, fight creatures and use outdoor survival skills to stay alive. You can communicate with players around the world and trade things with them. You can buy weapons to kill creatures better. Buy armor to protect yourself. If you die, you have to start again and you will lose all of your belongings, unless you put them in the runescape bank.

    World Of Warcraft: An online roleplaying game that allows you to improve your skills and become the ultimate warrior.

    Funny Junk: Funny Junk is a website that will keep you entertained for ages. You can view funny pictures, view funny animated clips, or watch real funny videos recorded by people from around the world.

    haha humor: Another amusing site. haha humor will keep you amused for hours. Watch funny animated videos. View funny pictures, watch funny videos of people being fools, or listen to funny songs.

    Liquid Generation: Wat to watch some hilarious animated clips? Want to get sabotaged by a scary animated movie? Well go to Liquid Generation.

    Funny Jokes: Funny jokes is a website that is dedicated to jokes. It has all different types of jokes from englishman, irishman and scottishmen to yo mamma jokes.

    Dumb moments: Read peoples most shameful moments.

    Addicting Games: Free Java games. Play arcade classics like battleship, rock paper scissors and so much more.

    Mini Clips: Play arcade games here, including trail bike, battle ship, baseball and football games.

    Fart.com: For all you people with fart and toilet humor.

    Coffee Break Arcade: Like a good challenge? Test your skills in arcade games. All different categories, from sports to shooting games.

    Ebaums World: Funny animation, funny games, funny clips, funny prank phonecalls, funny celebrity soundboards. Ebaums world has it all!

    B3ta: Games, quizzes, animations, moviez. Only B3ta could top this!

    Albino Blacksheep: If you want to see flash animations, video clips, images and play the coolest games then Albino Blacksheep is the perfect website.

    I Sketch: Now we all know the games when someone draws a picture that means a word. Well, try it internet style by using your mouse to draw a word assigned to you while other people from around the world guess what you are drawing. You can also guess what they are drawing. Hours of fun.

    True Ghost Stories: True ghost stories submitted by people from around the world. This was submitted by Carla18 . Who won the LPK competition guide by providing the best link out of the rest of the users.

    Weebls stuff: On this website you can view games, and blogs. They are entertaining and some rather insane.

    Random website: On this website, you click a picture and it sends you to a websie on the internet. It might sound boring but can be amusing to see where it takes you.

    Milk and Cookies: Sit back with some milk and cookies and just follow this massive database that contains different things. From games to religion. It will entertain you.

    Cyborg Name: Find out what your name would be if you were a cyborg.

    The Human Clock: Has a picture for every minute, of every day. Rather entertaining.

    Street Mattress: A rather strange site. Will let you decide what you think of it.

    Bored.com: If you are bored, then let this website amuse you.

    Constructor: An entertaining time wasting game.

    potter puppet pals: Harry Potter puppets, in animated cartoons.







    Book of Ratings: Best if you see for yourself

    Blogger: Get your own blog and tell people around the world about things that are going to happen or have happened.

    Holylemon: Animations and videos of people getting pranked. The stuff you usually see on websites that are designed to make you laugh.

    JibJab: Rather strange. :\

    SoDamnFunny: The name says it all.

    Not boring: Maybe this will amuse you?

    Flipbook : Make your own animation. See if you can be the best artist on the net.

    Extreme Funny Humor: Well, you like animations and pranks don't you? :p:

    Faceparty: Faceparty is a website were you can post a profile about yourself and get to see other peoples. If you search hard eough, your friends may have a profile on there.

    Fantasy Football: Get your own football team and join it to leagues. If you want to join TSR's Fantasy team, then go to this thread and get the league code, and have a little discussion about it.

    RCDB: Everything you need to know about rollercoasters. It has theme parks, roller coaster and information. See the pictures of the roller coasters. If you are going to a theme park, then just search for it there and see what rides you will be letting yourself into.

    Hooked on Facts: Some of these facts are interesting, some are funny, and some are just plain weird.

    Kingdom Of Loathing: The Kingdom of Loathing (or KoL, as it has come to be known by its player base) is a free, comical RPG, brought to you by the folks at Asymmetric Publications.

    Wimp: miscellaneous web snippets, mainly from tv series and funny short video clips

    KingArcade: good collection of fun flash games, ideal to while away a few minutes - including TETRIS

    SomethingAwful: general nerd humour

    Bebo: Bebo allows you to make a profile that your friends, family and stalkers can see. Add your friends to your friend list, post comments on other peoples profiles, search for long lost school buddies. Bebo allows you to do it!

    Myspace: Myspace is the same as bebo, except more would argue that it is better. Myspace allows you to add music, videos and themes to your profile. You can add friends to your list, and waste hours chatting to anybody you can find.

    I-Am-Bored: A mixture of videos, animations, the usual.

    Stick Cricket: "The world's best online cricket game!" says Juwel. :p:

    : The schoolboy classic version of Pong.

    Net Soccer: Netsoccer is a multiplayer online football game. Each gamer controls one player, not a team as is common in most football games. You can join different teams and have matches against other teams or you can just have a practice match online.

    Peter Answers: An Interactive Souls Engine/Virtual Tarot.

    Orisinal: Lots of mini games packed onto one little website.

    Project Rockstar: Create and manage your own band(s) record, release records, gig. You can also create your own record label and sign other users bands and create your own design studio and gig venue.

    Pointless Sites
    : An endless list of links to sites for games, videos, humour, and very very odd pointless things...

    Supashen: A blog of mild entertainment.

    Card Games: Lots of card games to keep you entertained for hours.

    Daily Astronomy Pictures: Each day a new picture of space is posted. An excellent site for you Astronomy enthusiasts.
    • Thread Starter

    This post will now contain jokes. If you have any good jokes, then please pm them too me. Remember, they cannot be very rude. Make sure they are mild. If you are not sure, send the joke and if i am happy with it then i will add it. If i am not sure about it then i will ask the mods about it. Jokes will be added when i update this thread.


    What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
    Stick his bill up his ass.

    A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates.
    "£50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer.
    "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man.
    "Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"

    As Mr. Smith was on his deathbed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most - his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, "I'm going to give you each £30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me."
    All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside. While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, the clergyman said "I have to confess something to you fellows. Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know he would have wanted me to do this. The church needed a new baptistery very badly, and I took £10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one. I only put £20,000 in the coffin." The physician then said, "Well, since we're confiding in one another, I might as well tell you that I didn't put the full £30,000 in the coffin either.
    Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine, but the machine cost £20,000 and I couldn't afford it then. I used £20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that." The lawyer then said, "I'm ashamed of both of you. When I put my envelope into that coffin, it held my personal check for the full £30,000."

    Three strings walk into a bar. The bartender throws them out, yelling "Can't you read the sign?! I don't serve strings." The strings try again, and again the bartender kicks them out. Finally, one of the strings gets the idea to mess himself up a little. He walks into the bar. The bartender scowls, "What's wrong with you? Can't you read? I don't serve strings!" The string replies, "I'm a frayed knot!"

    A guy walked into a bar and noticed a beautiful blonde sitting at the bar. He walked up to her and said "Can I buy you a drink?" She replied "Yes you may, but you won't get to first base with me." "And why not?" replied the guy. "Because I'm a lesbian." she replied. "Oh, so you're from Lebanon." "You don't know what a lesbian is, do you?" "No, I can't say I do." replied the guy.
    "Let me try to explain." said the blonde. "You see that girl at the end of the bar? Well, I would like to make passionate love to her, and kiss her all over all night long." She looked aside and saw the guy with his head down sobbing uncontrollably. "What's the matter with you?!" The guy slowly looked up at her and said "My GOD...I think I'm a lesbian, too!"

    A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
    "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
    "Yeah, my wife..."

    Thanks to MorbidAngel for the photos.

    chicken and pussy
    cactus and melons
    fan and hoover
    smart mouse
    sloping lines?
    problem solving chart
    keyboard and desk
    wrapped office
    spot the idiot
    drive carefully
    happy easter
    girls are evil
    ghetto comp
    fitness centre
    female brain
    count the dots
    dont mix viagra and beer
    girls computer
    charv hunting
    bus doors
    bomb squad
    mans best friend
    colour blind speed sign
    risk of falling
    cat and fish
    out of markers
    call centre
    sunk plane
    etch a sketch
    stress reduction
    myspace truth

    An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are driving through the desert when their car breaks down. So they have to get out.
    The Englishman takes a bottle of wine with him, the Scotsman takes an umbrella and the Irishman takes a car door.
    On the way they meet this old man. He says to the Englishman "I know why you've got the wine so you can have a drink when your thirsty", He says to the Scotsman "I know why you've got the umbrella to keep the sun off you", "but" he says to the Irishman "Why have you got the car door?" and the Irishman replies "If I get hot I can wind the window down!"

    A Scotsman is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt.
    Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs.
    To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear.
    The blonde realises he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my growler?" "Yes, I'm sorry, " says the Scotsman and promises to avert his eyes.
    "It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you."
    Sure enough the growler blows him a kiss.
    Wee Hughie, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the growler can do.
    "I can also make it wink, " says the woman.
    The Scotsman stares in amazement as the growler winks at him.
    "Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat.
    The Scotsman moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"
    Stunned, The Scotsman replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle, too?"

    Paddy was walking through a town one day when he say a shop with a notice in the window. The notice said "We sell everything". Paddy could not believe this so he went inside. He walked to the counter and asked the salesperson, "Do you really sell everything?" The salesperson said "Yes, everything".
    Thinking this was too good to be true Paddy said "OK then could I have a jumper for a chicken?". The salesperson said "A jumper for a chicken?, hold on I will have to check the stock out the back". Five minutes later, the salesperson returned with a brown paper bag. "Here you go, one jumper for a chicken"
    "How much?" asked Paddy.
    "Three quid." replied the salesperson.
    "Three quid for a jumper for a chicken - excellent." said Paddy. So away he went as happy as larry. When he got outside he thought to himself that maybe he was done, so he looked inside the bag. At the bottom of the bag was a condom.
    He was mad and stormed back into the shop. He screamed at the saleperson "Hey, I asked you for a jumper for a chicken and you have given me a condom - whats going on?"
    The salesperson replied, "Sorry mate, I checked in the back and we seem to be all out of jumpers for chickens, all we had was a pullover for a ****."

    Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it.
    "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
    The gas pumps of course, didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. Again there was no response. The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pumps haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, "Greetings earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I'll fire!"
    The other alien shouted to his comrade, "No, you don't want to make him mad!" But before he finished his warning, the first alien fired.
    There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they landed in a heap rather abruptly. When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"
    The other alien answered, "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy, when a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his own ear, you don't mess with him."

    So which condom would you use?

    * Nike Condoms: Just do it.
    * Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
    * Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
    * Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
    * Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
    * Flintstones Vitamins Condom: Ten million strong and growing.
    * Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman.
    * Macintosh Condom: It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.
    * Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
    * Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
    * Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
    * New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey - you never know.
    * California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
    * Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
    * KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
    * Coca Cola Condoms: Always the Real Thing.
    * Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
    * Campbell's Soup Condoms: Mmm, mmm, good.
    * General Electric Condoms: We bring good things to life!
    * AT&T Condoms: Reach out and touch someone.
    * Bounty Condoms: The quicker picker upper.
    * Microsoft Condoms: Where do you want to go today ?
    * Energizer Condoms: It keeps going and going and going....
    * M&M Condoms: It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!
    * Taco Bell Condoms: Get some; make a run for the border.
    * MCI Condoms: For friends and family
    * Doublemint Condoms: Double your pleasure, double your fun!
    * The Sears latex Condoms: One coat is good for the entire winter.
    * Delta Airlines travel pack Condoms: Delta is ready when you are.
    * United Airlines travel pack Condoms: Fly United.
    * The Star Trek Condoms: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before.

    Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
    A. "How do you breath through something so small?"
    • Thread Starter

    More jokes:

    A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

    One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."
    The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

    One day an at a home Tony's wife is alone and the doorbell rings.
    She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"
    The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."
    So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred buck just to see one."
    Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I've got to see both of them. I'll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together."
    Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.
    A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, "You know, your friend Chris came over."
    Tony thinks about it for a second and says, "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

    You are in a concrete building. No windows or doors.
    With only a saw and a table in the room...
    HOW do you escape?
    The Answer???
    Well, you can cut the table in half. There, you have two halfs.
    Two halfs make a hole.
    You can then go through the hole and get out!

    2 peanuts walking down the street...
    One was assulted
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